Warning Signs – Insults You, Calls You Names

NOTE: We are re-posting this article on Warning Signs – Insults You/Calls You Names to allow you to read some of the excellent comments we’ve received from those who are or have been in an abusive relationship. Please be aware that these comments are for informational purposes only; we cannot verify the validity of each individual comment. If you need help, please contact a professional organization such as loveisrespect.org at 1-866-331-9474.

DASH’s early warning signs are meant to guide you in determining whether your relationship is healthy. In this series of articles, we will explore each warning sign in more depth so that you will have a better idea about what each sign means and if you need to address a problem in your relationship. Our second early warning sign of abuse is:

Insults you, calls you names

This may seem like an obvious warning sign. No one likes to be called names, even when it’s innocent teasing by friends. The increased awareness of bullying behavior has brought this warning sign more attention. The old rhyme “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” certainly isn’t true. Names, particularly if they are hurled at you by someone who claims to love you, can be terribly painful. If people you don’t really care about call you names, it may not be as upsetting. If that person is your boyfriend or girlfriend it becomes a whole different story. As in the first warning sign calling names is about control and humiliation.

We all have dealt with nicknames and insults, even among our friends. You might be a nerd, a jock, a popular and be proud about it. Having others call you names might roll right off you. You need to be able to tell the difference between a silly nickname and an abusive one. Any time your partner chooses to insult you, your appearance, your intelligence, your choices or opinions it’s emotional abuse. Yes, your partner can have his/her own opinions, but when they question your ideas to the point of insult or humiliation, it becomes emotional abuse.

It doesn’t matter if the verbal abuse takes place in front of others or not. An abusive partner will tell you that no one else will love you because you are fat, ugly, stupid – pick a word. Some partners may use the most disgusting references in order to crush your self esteem. There is no need to spell them out here; you can imagine what kinds of words they use. By insulting you he/she is making you more dependent. Many abusers will humiliate or embarrass their partners in public as a method of control to “prove” that only the abuser can love them. A victim of emotional abuse may start to blame themselves for the abuser’s behavior and come to believe what the abuser says. Constant criticism will compel the victim to “improve” him/herself. After all, if the person who loves you thinks you’re stupid then it must be true.

Remember, if the person you love is making you feel bad about yourself then he/she really doesn’t love you. A healthy relationship should be relaxing and fun. You should feel free to express who you really are with your partner. You shouldn’t feel that you need to fix yourself in order to meet your partner’s standard. Emotional abuse can happen to any one and it may eventually escalate to physical abuse if it isn’t stopped.

If you determine that these warning signs are part of your relationship, remember: you are not alone. You may not know how to get help. You may be afraid to leave the situation. Abusers know that they can control you emotionally because no one wants to admit that someone else has treated them so poorly. Do not be ashamed. Dating abuse is not your fault. Recognize the signs of dating abuse and get help if your relationship exhibits any of these characteristics. You don’t have to handle this alone. Sharing can save your life. For confidential help, please call the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: 1-866-331-9474.

loveisrespect.org, a collaboration of Break the Cycle and the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline, can now answer your questions and concerns via text message. Simply text “Love Is” to 77054 for confidential help. Normal texting fees apply.

330 thoughts on “Warning Signs – Insults You, Calls You Names”

  1. My boyfriend calls me names constantly and im tired of it and he would insult me to the point where i would feel like im nothing and useless but that usually happens when his angry and sometimes i doubt if he loves me or what. I believe that if someone loves you is not meant to say such hurtful things and claim to love you in the end.

    1. I feel you, my boyfriend calls me names like “childish, immature, a brat, an insecure little girl who can’t do anything and he would always get mad at me when I would get so mad when he ” jokingly” say he was going to have sex with one of my friends and he also gets mad at me when i tell at him for calling me names. he always say their true. sometimes I don’t know what I should do. he hurts me emotionally and it sucks

      1. You need to LEAVE this a*******. A little late if you haven’t already but to joke about having sex with one of your friends is just out of line. I’d be so p*****. And him calling you names will never stop. You’re in a manipulative and abusive relationship. GET OUT of there NOW!

      2. My husband tells me he loves me, but he calls me names such as immature little girl, stupid, ignorant, can’t never do anything, and he hates me and it’s my fault. Then he says he sorry he loves me and doesn’t mean to say those things

        1. sounds exactly like my partner. I am currently suing him and hoping for a separation as we are only engaged with two kids..

        2. Hi Dawn. These guys are so insecure and they are the ones that can’t get another mate
          But one day they will get what the deserve I just continue to pray.
          Sorry hope you leave him
          Get a good life
          Will be praying for you

      3. My boyfriend says the same – brat spoiled dumb bitch constantly tells me im immature reminding me I’m 23 and I should know better, that I wasn’t raised with manners. It hurts and I’m finally ready to walk away

        1. I haven’t even been with my bf but 2 months yet he just clicked on me yesterday. A couple of weeks ago during a disagreement he called me stupid and that really made me feel some type of way. I told him then that I didnt appreciate it especially when Ive never done that to him. I remember him saying something then about name calling not mattering. He said names dont bother him because people say things they don’t mean when in a heated argument. What tripped me out was him not promising to do it again. That stayed in the back of my mind. But last night he literally went ballistic on me calling me all kinds of dumb, stupid, stinky, broke bitches. Then it was over something petty as hell. I was completely speechless. I couldn’t believe how childish and immature he is. I feel like I never really knew him at all. I told him to get out my house before I called the police.

        2. I’m in a abusive relationship for many years now once they start getting up in your face pointing fingers in your face calling names its basically over I’m going to walk away for good I would always say this but this time I really have to change it or it will never stop so to u young girls out there walk away u are not stuck find someone who treats u better.

          1. Nadine and all others,
            I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 4 1/2 years. In January of this year, we had a slight disagreemen. He called me a c@@@ twice, got up out of his chair with both of his middle fingers about an inch from my face yelling f you f you. His face was about 4 inches from mine. at that moment I wanted to punch him and drop kick him. However I remained calm because i didnt want to go to jail. I went looking for an apartment and told him I love him but din’t wantto live there. ( his house) As of March 1st Im in my own apartment. I wanted peace and I got it. Please do not put up with abusive behavior of any kind. Look up Trent Shelton on facebook. Hes a great motivational speaker. I happened on one of his post before I made up my mind to leave that crazy guy. Wish all of you the best. Its going to be tough ladies. but your worth much more.

      4. He said to me today, after we had a great time, enjoyed a few drinks and a great weather, a great conversation, just because I got a little sleepy from the drink (plus I suffer from migraines and he knows it): oh, I told you before you would get tired if you drink. Its always a new day for you (like, “you are so stupid you never learn from your mistakes”.) I am the one to take care of things and make everything work. I told him earlier that we should go before having another beer but he wouldn’t leave. Now it is me who is dumb? I make each day adventurous, try to make it sparkle, do whatever I can to make it special, and now I am stupid? This is not the end. No apology. I brought this up as we were leaving, a strained ” fake” apology. On the way home, I lent him my credit card for some beers and cigs (duh, I am stupid!). Asked “get me one banana, please”. Bananas where we are go for 50 c. Guess what. Comes home with beers and cigs for himself, no banana for me. What to do about all this.
        The ” stupid” girl

      5. In this case. I could understand how this could bother someone.
        I almost wish I were in your shoes. I remember when it started. It was very light name calling. I just thought of it as my boyfriend being immature.
        5 years later, I’m called every horriable name I can think of. Forget the name calling… Now he describes to me how much I’m a disgrace.
        I remember when I had value. Now He just reminds me of how low I really am.
        The funny part, my kids hear it too…. and their little boys.
        My house hold is disturbing. We can’t even go a week without drama.

      6. My boyfriend has called me names, he’s told me that he “understands that it’s hard for my little brain to wrap around” a topic
        When I get upset or tell him to stop, he tells me I deserve it
        And when I actually need something (like a ride to work) he tells me no cause I DONT deserve it
        And he’s aware at the way he talks
        He’s told me that he knows he’s mean
        But he says he doesn’t care
        I don’t know what to do anymore
        But I’m losing my happiness

    2. Confront him, or leave. Stop doing this to yourself. He’s hurt and he needs help. If you don’t want to help him or get him help, that’s fine, but get out and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Pity is a form of narcissistic pride. You’re not a victim, you’re a warrior. Use your brain and make yourself happy. If you have nothing to lose, you are absolutely free.

      1. I understand your message is coming from a good place. However, the reasons for not leaving an abusive relationship have nothing to do with self pity. It’s about a person dominating another to the point that they become brainwashed. They second guess themselves about everything. It’s about the abuser breaking that person mentally and emotionally. You get so lost, you barely know or can admit to yourself that you deserve better. Your sense of right and wrong can become damaged. You fear leaving, because they somehow, no matter how intelligent you may be, they gaslight you. And after so long, you start to believe that you deserve the agony and poison words spewed at you. You can lose your identity entirely.

        1. I am 39 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years and he’s always been very controlling. The mental abuse stopped for the most part while I’ve been pregnant. Until last night. He called me a bitch for not making dinner. I know that doesn’t sound bad, but for a man who claims to love myself and his unborn daughter. How can you call the mother of your child a bitch like it’s not a big deal. I never call him names. I do everything this man wants and so much more. I was married for 7 years before him and my ex husband never treated me that way. But how do you walk away from the father of your child. This is my first child and I want so much for my family to work. I love this man, but he’s so manipulating at times I can’t stand it. When I try to explain to him how I feel he turns it all around on me. I’m always a liar. Truth is I NEVER lie to him. I tell him everything about my life good and bad.

          1. Hope youve left. Are you going to let him call your child names and create traumas in your child as well? Why didnt he prepare the dinner? Does he have hands? If so he can learn to cook a proper meal and in my opinion should know how. Name calling is never ok. Your are not a bitch or any name he wants to call you, nor is that necessary to call your significant other names at any moment in this life. I sure hope youve left this monster. Turning things around on you is deflection discard dismissal gaslighting and he sounds like a narcissist to me. Look up narcissistic abuse. Get into some cbt therapy … are you aware the by product of narcissistic abuse is complex ptsd and long term—- brain damage? I wish you the best. Love yourself and your child enough to leave. If you want something to change—- Be the change you want.
            There are way too many women out there
            doing ‘everything’ for these men
            and in return…um they cant order you dinner… take u to dinner and pay or cook you dinner?
            Every woman out there doing everything for their man
            should halt that now.
            in a healthy marriage or relationship
            you dont set that pattern up period.
            that is a recipe for abuse.
            He should be doing things for you..growing up and learning how to talk to you.
            Better to be single and love the you God made
            than it is to be with a person like that.

          2. I understand where your coming from I get called a whore scum and we have to little girls together I feel u hun

          3. This is how my bf is. If I tell get mad or try to tell him how I’m feeling, he’ll flip it around and make me feel guilty and make me feel as if I need to be the one to apologize. Even after he’s called me a countless number of names. And when I get mad enough and finally hold my ground, he tells me that I’m too condescending and he doesn’t want to talk to me and that he can “never win”
            When really it’s the other way around
            I can’t ever win
            If I hold my ground, I’m a bitch
            If I don’t, I’m stupid and annoying

          4. I’ve been with a man like him for 3 yrs and he will never get better with or without children in the picture. He will eventually move on after he’s bored of humiliating you and leave you as a single parent

        2. Kristen Ishee,

          Your words are so full of WISDOM and helpful. Thank You so much for SHARING and CARING!! HOPING that someone will reach out and GRAB them and let them CHANGE the rest of their LIFE.

        3. You are a great writer, This is exactly what i am going through. I think I am brainwashed. I am codependent with him so I cannot afford to leave him (financially). I wish I could afford prioritize my mental health over my education and career.

        4. I’m divorced, 67 female, sharing expenses 50/50 in his home. He’ll call me a god damn mother **** over a small issue that flared up! But also tells me how much he loves me all the time. Very low self esteem charmer. Starting to drink vodka again but not mean.
          My question is how do I leave? I’m afraid because I own 3/4ths of all furniture a car and a utv. When I say I’m leaving he cries n begs. I don’t drink and hang out at bars like he use to do. But he list from 445 to 185 got tummy skin cut off and he’s way confident. I have gained weight in past 7 yrs here. I was svelte and pretty. I am older now and sad the mess I’m in. I can’t provoke him because he holds me down to get me to settle down, and he’s over 120 lbs heavier than me n strong 6’4” man. I’m 5’1 talk. Afraid to speak to family about it.
          Any advice for me?

          1. 67nafraid,
            I posted a comment to Nadine and alll the others recently. Find a way to get the coursge to leave. Im 60 years old and I just left. Im taking a leaf of faith and trusting God for things to work in my favor. I got an apartment of which after i pay the rent, utilities and my other bills i’ll have 250.00 left for food and gas in my car per month. I’m looking for a part time job to help make up for the cost. He helped me move probably because he wnted me out secretitively but denies it. he said he didn’t want me to leave but i dont believe him. I told him I still wanted to be his girlfriend but didn’t want to live with him. It somoothed things over. However frankly I don’t care to ever see him again. Find a way to get out no matter the cost or loss.

          2. record and document all his outbursts. start saving small amounts of money, it will add up. I’m sorry about your furniture but you need to find a place far away and leave him.
            This is a dramatic, but sometimes people have to leave bad situations.
            Think about the jews who had incredible possessions and they dropped them all behind if they were able to flee Hitler.

    3. Hey zintle .. after reading your post I can just say that if someone loves u truly , he would accept u the way u are .. like ur perfections and imperfections completely and yes respecting each other is a very essential part in a relationship .. if he doesn’t respect u then he doesn’t deserve u ..

    4. My boyfriend or ex-boyfriend I finally left after 9 months of constant emotional verbal abuse treated me extremely bad & after calling me every name in the book, telling me I’m an old ugly smelly woman he would always say, “You know I didn’t mean a word I said, you know I love you, Do you love me?” This last time after 9 months of this I simply said “The only thing I have to say to you is this: go find that beautiful, young sexy woman you’ve been wanting for the 9 months we’ve been together”. His response “You Hate Me”. I didn’t respond. I let him know I will NEVER talk to him on the phone or answer any emails or texts. He would always talk me into coming back to him then the same thing would happen all over again. It was like every other day. I told him you say you don’t mean a word of the insults to me but you do. If yo didn’t mean it and truly loved me you wouldn’t say those things to me. He’ll never change. He controlled my every move, wanted me on the phone from morning till I went to bed. If I went to drop the garbage he would be right there with me wondering if I’m flirting. Always accusing me of having a man in the apt with me or flirting with one. He was an extremely mean man, EVIL, a demon. There was not just the emotional verbal abuse but threats of harm to me. I’m out & am not going to fall for his “You know I love You” all over again. Believe me that man can love no one.

      1. I feel you. I’ve been with someone for almost 8 months that’s acting the same exact way. It hurts. I get too attached to people to leave, though. All he does it call me an A**hole, when he’s in the wrong. Always wants to know who I’m talking to, what I’m doing, what I’m saying, where I’m going. It’s awful, and I feel weak because I’m the one putting myself in this situation.

        1. Im over 45 and with a man almost 2 years. He never lived with a woman or married, I had 3 relationships longterm. We dont have kids. We get along great most times but the first 6 months he kept pushing me away and saying only friendship, then he told me he loves me, Im the woman for him etc. Hes like my best friend here too I cannot meet friends here. SInce he lost his job our relationship changed as Im out of work too. Hes an amateur golfer on the side. I never met hisfamily to date. Lately I put on 10 lbs and hes made a few comments he himself needs 10 to 15 lbs hes too thin. IOm very healthy he has arthritis. Ive been devoted to him, never cheated, very good to him, hes been very good to me too but lately hes mooddy and not showing he cares about me. A few nights ago we were suppose to get together. We came back from shopping and he wanted to visit a male neighbor (we live in same apt). |We had been drinking he had more than me. At one point he called me a slut and said show your tit to bob. Another time he said show your #####, then he started saying we should all do a threesome, Id never do that nor would that guy. I was angry and in shock. My cat had got lost that night as we were 3 hrs we had to find her. He only wanted to hang there to help that guy clean. So then we went back to his apt and he said he loves me like 4 times and I slept over. At times when I say something he has response like I mentioned my sister today its so hirtful. Im already quite depressed from my situation I want to ask him why did he do this. At one point at taht guys place he called me a bitch, when I asked him he said I did not mean that I meant your my bitch. He also told that guy a very personal info on me that I have orgasm issues Im so embarassed. I went to see that guy today, he said he was even shocked how my boyfriend acted as hes always been respectful to me and others here, he said are you sure that was him?? lol I said Im shocked too. I also told my boyfriend at taht guys apt this is his last chance with me, I was so angry, I did not want to fight around that guy…its 2 years of upset..at one point he said I should sue you, \i said for what? Hes never left me a voicemail in his life either which I find bizarre. He had cheated one me 2 times that I know of over a year ago and if I get upset all these people he knows gang up and side with him and I never met any of them! One is his brothers girlfriend shes said to dump me, shes never met me!!

      2. narcissistic personality disorder? My ex did the same, and felt justified / entitled to do so, just because she either felt I was attacking her verbally (not at all) or had upset her cause I didn’t give enough validation on her birthday when I’d broken my knee and couldn’t get back in time (even though I’d kept her up to date and had apologised), or wanted to explore becoming a school inspector requiring some local travelling when I’d said I didn’t want a job that travelled ..what Ive written is very very brief, it is much more crazy than this, and after indepth research and talking with specialists I discovered that the only thing that fit her was a covert narcissistic personality disordered individual. It is extremely hurtful yes, and the trauma bonding and recovering from the emotional addiction has been hugely difficult .. now coming out of the FOG, I see it all, and yes it was majorly abusive, and it just is what it is .. she came across at first as a lovely woman who cared so much, but I ended up being the crazy aggressive one who can’t love .. I know that’s not true, and I know with conviction what happened (after long time of wondering if it was me). Just be careful and research this. It’s sad, but these types of people don’t love you, they love what you can do for them, and they are never there for you and can’t talk through difficulties or upsets without it going crazy and them passively aggressively punishing you or leaving you for periods of time (knowing what they are doing) .. they do it to manage you down so as to be able to dominate and control you, and if you’re not careful you can lose your self esteem, identity, and health, as well as friends, family, finances, dreams etc.

        1. I have a bf of 5 years I love him so much I’m 6 months pregnant n for over 5 months he’s been on n off meth he leaves n doesn’t ever tell me where he is. He worrys me I want him to get clean he promises me he will n never does. I saw him yesterday he got upset at me n called me a fat bitch because I don’t want him coming home if he won’t change. What do i do? I’m so hurt. I miss him he was my best friend I feel like I don’t know him no more

        2. Your post is so clear and honest. The fog is something all of these victims are experiencing the abuse. You’re confused, addicted, and trapped in a cycle. I have experienced a traumatic divorce where I was in denial of the manipulations and lies. I was convinced through 90% of my marriage that I had a anger problem, that I was too sensitive, I liked to talk too much. Repetitively, I was told that I go too deep and that I wasn’t spiritual enough. Never enough. I was embarrassing, or so on. Now I’m dating an ex. My first love, and I’ve realized that I have a type. I choose emotionally unavailable partners. I choose non-communicators that punish me with stone walking, and blame. I think somewhere along life’s path, care takers like us did not receive self value skills and struggle with letting go. Mental abuse pulls and pushes you. You’re valuable as long as you give them what they want. I know my current girlfriend insults me. And I’m still struggling with letting go.

        3. I’m a 38 year old woman in a relationship with a 30 year old MAN who is exactly the same way. We have been together 3 years and are engaged. He was my dream come true at first,but now its like i cant do anything right he tells me i tslk to much and it embarrasses him that he cant tske me anywhere. I dont work,but i do all the yard work i do all the house work i make sure all the bills are paid i have a 6 ye ass r old daughter and he has a 5 and 7 year old daughter and when his 2 come over he expects me to do it all. Is he just using me to be his maid/ nanny? He never wants to talk about anything and he doesn’t try to please me in bed. I’m just lost and I’m really getting ready to tell him to f off

        4. I’m at this point now with current gf of 6 yrs. Its true about my family, friends,(friends even we both knew) ,relatives, etc. I’m at the point to where I totally see it but not sure to handle it yet…

        5. Wow…this resonates with me…especially the part about leaving and not discussing issues for hours or days. That has happened to me SO many times. What could have veen resolved in 20 minutes has been drug out for hours or days. What a sad crazy world. I am so exhausted.

      3. my boyfriend tore me apart . he used to call me keep all the time first , now it goes to prostitute ..I am planning to leave him

      4. I was told “thats why i like younger woman” for about the 10th time in this 3 year relationship so readi g your post i related. I said the same thing .GO GET her. I am 43 n i love myself. I take damn good care of myself and am 100% faithful. Its always ” you know i love you” right after…but its to a point im falling out of love n truly dont care like i once did. We deserve better. These men have self esteam issues and will probably never find a good woman to stay. Hope your doing well now:)

      5. I am so distraught, I gave my ex a second chance after we spilt b/c 2yrs ago he punched me in my face. We also have a 5 year old son and I have two other boys. He promised he would never hit me again and he has not but the physical abuse has now turned into mental and verbal abuse. Everything was going good and then one day it wasn’t. He started out calling me names when he got frustrated and I recently found out he has been calling my boys all types of names such as fag, pussy, gay and they are only 10,7 and 5. I am outraged, hurt and most of all beyond words. I kicked him out and need to seek help for my young boys… Signed a Really battered Mother

      6. I know this is an old comment but I had a guy just like him I was accuse of flirting, telling lies, he had to always be on the phone with me day and night I could barely work . He would call me every name under the sun. I lost all my friends he said bad things about them and ran them away. He didn’t want me having friends. he was Evil a demon just an overall terrible person. I’m glad you got out. Thank you for sharing our relationship were almost identical

    5. I know it’s not cool…my bf calls me names like idiot,stupid,filthy liar,biggest fool,Satan. …..it’s killing my self esteem as a person and I’m starting to doubt if he loves me at all and he’s never apologetic about it because I tell me that it hurts my feelings and he’s gets mad about it and says it’s my fault.I don’t know what to do and yet I love him so much

      1. This is happening in my relationship too. He calls me names and tells me I’m stupid whenever I have a different opinion than him on a subject, or even if I try to share a new point of view that he doesn’t agree with. Our fights are so stupid and every time I’m left with no self esteem when he says “You’re a child!” or tells me I’m stupid, idiot, bitch, annoying, @@@@, dumb, selfish, etc. the list goes on and on. He never apologizes for calling me these things and says it’s my fault and I deserve being treated like this because I’m stupid and have treated him worse… I feel so low and it has gotten to the point where I’m self-harming again and having suicidal thoughts frequently which terrifies me.. I don’t want to be so depressed but I do love him and can’t imagine being without him, and he tells me often that he doesn’t love me, but then sometimes says he does… Just writing this all out sounds completely stupid but I’m hoping something changes before I seriously hurt myself.

        1. Im sorry. I finally left my bf over the weekend. I told him something he did hurt my feelings and so he screamed at me that he was glad called me a b@@@@and a c@@@ for trying to get my point across. He told me im nothing and hes way better than me. Screamed at me that I shoulf be submissive and not question him. I just walked away let him have the last word and blocked his txts and calls. Im not gonna txt him its over to avoid more contact and I dnt think he deserves anything from me. Its been 7 months. However do I just unfollow him on fb? Or do I block him?

          1. leave him
            and never look back
            get to the point of deleting with ease
            he called u names
            it only gets worse
            narcissistic abuse survivor
            He is not healthy.

        2. I feel you sister i am in the same situation and mine is even worse cause he cheats on me and had a child with someone else recently, he calls me stupid all the time even in-front of his friends its so embarrassing. i tried to leave him but he always comes back to me saying he cannot live without me,he asks me to wash his things and if i cannot than he tells me hes going to look for other people willing to help him,it hurts so much.

          1. Im sorry.
            Let him find others to wash his clothes
            see how many will do it
            he will do the same things to them as well
            he should put some soap in the washing machine and press the button
            that isnt your job.
            Get out.
            wishing you
            Peace and love.

        3. I thought I’m the only who’s experiencing this kind of thing. It hurts me that sometimes I want to take away my own life because of this person whom I love the most. I can never leave him but he makes me feel worse each day. He call me b*tch, l*ar, and so on… It hurts me that he can’t even ask how my day went cause he always starts our conversations with his selfish reasons and accusations. I’m really tired of our relationship. But I really love him. He doesn’t want to talk to me all the time. I don’t know what he’s up to cause he keep on making me guess. I’m afraid that it would be my biggest mistake to leave him but I’m really hurt by his actions and words. He can’t even say that he loves me every single day….

        4. Hey hun. At this point you need to focus on yourself. I’ve been where you are and the only thing that helps is self help. Get someone to talk immediately.

          I can promise you that those suicidal thoughts and self-harm feelings will disappear once you get professional help, focus on you and start realizing there is more to life than this bubble your living in. Good luck! You can do it!

          1. Ive been trying everythibg to improve everything is blocked! I cannot find any work for 3 years, I cannot make friends here, I used to go to the pool now I cant afford it, my income is too low. Im trying to work from home in medical transcription but I need money to buy some items the govt wont help me at all. I have 10 yrs experience in that and know every field of medicine they wont help me one bit. My family lives 500 miles east and 3 of them as sick 2 with cancer. I tried to return to college it would be thousands in loans Im not getting into that at my age! It took 14 yrs to pay of 2 student loans that I had. I was declined disabilty for an injured right hand and arm \i had a bad fall and I cannot bend my fingers or turn my hand to get money back I was even under a pain clinic and they declined me. I love this man so much and he knows it, hes said he loves me too. He usually shows affection when he drinks not when hes not drinking I finally go to be able to trust him…hes 2 yrs younger than I am. I helped him alot his number 2 in golf this year thanks to me he will tell you that! I wonder why he is keepijg me from his family for2 years now? He promised to give me golf lessons now hes giving excuses there are too many bugs, the last week he said hes worried men will come after me there! But what he says is not true no men come after me here….

        5. My boyfriend I’ve been with for more than a months
          We argue he tells me he loves me but he had someone hack his social media I’m not sure who the hacker was but they told me that I’m a slutty ugly whore that my boyfriend don’t love you. I can understand where you’re coming from being with someone who calls you ugly, stupid , selfish, annoying, and I started to actually self harm, I cut open my wrists and if I tell him what’s going on he tells Me Stop Making It About You when all he’s done to me is make me feel like I’m a burden that I’m not good enough for him

        6. Don’t ever thank about taking your life for
          some guy.Just leave this guy and find the guy God really has for you.Tell him its your fault.If you wouldn’t let him treat you this way he wouldn’t.So that’s why your going to start loving your self more.And he will never get a chance to treat you this way ever again.Change your Number.Block him do not ever respond to him.And when your ready ,find someone new and never mention this Guys name, to him are tell them anything about him.Get rid of his phone number and if you have kids have him pick your kids up at police station.Let this guy know you have your life back .And start ASP.

        7. Your comment moved me. You dont deserve any of that. You’re beautiful and you deserve more. I used to be a cutter because of my dad…. sh** sucks. Theres definitely someone out there for you, and no matter what, I know you’ll make it through everything. If you’re religious, then God will show you the way. He is always with you and you will always be his child, no matter what you do. If you aren’t religious, then that’s fine too. But just know that you’re an amazing individual and that theres better things out there for you.

        8. Hi there, this is my exact situation and I’m really struggling everything you said felt like I told you to write it about my situation, I know it was a long time ago but please if you see this message please email me @ taneisha.smith18@gmail.com
          Please help I don’t know what to do anymore

        9. I understand. I am so confused sometimes. Am I depressed? Is it him? I sleep all day lately and have also had suicidal thoughts. I feel your pain. One day, we will remember who we are again and break free.

    6. My boyfriend has been the one catering for my needs, paying my bills and school fees. He knows everything about me Cus I opened up to him, mind you I really love him, whenever he is angry, he insults my parents, calls me a mad person and other things. He says I have nothing to offer except sex and he can go out to get it from a prostitute. He has hit me a couple of times. I know I should leave the relationship but who is going to pay my postgraduate fees? I haven’t still found love in this world, not from my parents, not from my boyfriend, it’s just do unfair

      1. Be veeeery careful here. If he is already at the point where he is hitting you, things can & will only escalate from here. He may really injure you or even take your life one day.

        You can always find ways to get loans for your bills, but you cannot afford a second life. Please talk to someone close to you. Your life is so valuable .

        1. I agree with you. As and advocate working at a Domestic Violence and Sexuall assault center, you are in harms ways. I can tell you as a survivor myself it never gets better. It in fact progresses and becomes harder to leave especially if children are involved. I have counseled countless woman and men who have made it out. You need a support to guide you along the way. I also am aware of many who do NOT make it out of the relationship at the hands of the abuser.
          When you know enough is enough you will feel empowered. I hope you know get to know your worth. Love you first. Become whole again and then the right one will come along.
          Look up local facilities that provide support and crisis counseling in your area. (Preferably Coalitions against domestic violence)

          Take care and stay safe

          1. I havnt seen my friends in years I’m extremely lonely and isolated. He calls me worthless, and that he has women waiting for him he tells me who will ever want a single mum, I’m on anti depressants and I cry everyday I can’t seem to go I just want a friend so badly. He shouts at me and calls me a liar when I say I’m ill he tells me I should be lucky to be with him, he’s punched me, busted my lip, come at me with swords tells me my little girl shouldn’t have me as a mum, tells his friends when Im with him I don’t match up to his standards he needs a woman I’m the reason he’s put on weight, I’m the reason he’s angry.

    7. Errrr, I’ll admit. I recently got into a relationship. He is a very sweet guy and I love him. cx Though, today, we were talking about a silly topic and then I called him a meanie.. he called me stupid. He then hugged me. I was crying and my self esteem lowered. Is this a sign that he maybe a abuser in the future..?

      Also, he doesn’t text me fast. :v He would say some things in a group chat, but wouldn’t say it to me.. but whatever. Someone please help me. ;H;

    8. My bf feels the need to call me a stupid @@@@ all the time, he once grabbed me by the hair and dragged me off the chair, he has broken so many of my things including chairs when he gets angry I do sometimes feel scared, he nips me and pokes me if he thinks I’m acting like a child, after eating all my food and I have no money left he would go out and buy himself some food and tell me to stay at home as its my fault why I have nothing in. I just feel useless at everything I do. He thinks I can’t do anything right I’m literally in tears all the time, he threatens me he will leave knowing I can’t pay my rent without him as I’ve just started a new job he says he loves me but I do t think he does it gets that bad sometimes o feel like crawling into a hole and just letting myself go

      1. Leave him, immediately!
        Difinetly abusive person.
        Any man that pulls your hair takes your money and calls you names is not worthy of your time and kind loving heart.

    9. For me Calling myself names throughout the day and night are part of my daily routine and I do it so much that I don’t even think about it, I have no self esteem and no self confidence, I have no friends and it has been this way since I was 6 years old in school. Kids called me vile names as well as my dad everyday for 15 years, I was called so many names that it hurt me to the core as I would start crying but when I was 13 those names I was being called started to change me as I started adopting those names and I would start to identify myself as those names and I would feel good about calling myself those names as well as other kids because I started believing I was those names. When kids asked me my name I would use those bad names and I would write down a bad name on my school work and my teacher said it was fine to do it. I feel better about calling myself names because I know that is what I am, no one likes me and rejects me all the time. I don’t deserve love from anyone, when I was 12 all the way up till now I just let people take advantage of me, it just feels right and normal to being taken advantage of. I record voice memos throughout the day saying bad things about my self. I am gay and have been since I was 7 years old.

      1. You deserve to be loved. Everyone does. I’m sorry that many people in this world are cruel! Please let me know of you need someone to talk to. Much love from California❤️

    10. Hye, um.. idk. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year straight now but we have been on and off for years. What i want to know is this. So here’s what happened. I woke up late for school and i was running late. I had 15 minutes to get ready and I just threw on whatever I could find. I didn’t put any underwear on, though. So fast forward to later. My boyfriend and I are hanging out and he has told me many times to wear underwear. This is not our first rodeo in this department.Anyway, he asks me if I am wearing underwear. I say no, and then he gets really angry. He was going to give me a phone, but he decided to keep it, saying he wasn’t going to reward me for doing this. So we went out to eat and he then proceeded to talk to me about the situation. I apologized, but he didn’t accept it. I also told him that I was again running late this morning and he said that it was an excuse. Then he made me stand up in KFC, and I felt really embarassed. He then proceeded to tell me i was dressing like a hoe (mind you, im in sweats and a hoodie) and that i was starting to dress like the girls at my school. Then he told me I wanted attention from other men and that hurt really bad. Idk if he was just angry, but he has always called me names when he is angry. He usually calls me a bitch, or stupid, and he has choked me once.

    11. My boyfriend calls me a slut, bitch, slag, whore and a slag when hes angry. Its really starting to depress the hell out of me.

      1. Let him know that his behavior is wrong and you do not appreciate him calling you names. If he feels the need to call you names. Words like hello gorgeous, your beautiful, I love you are exceptable. If it doesn’t change let him know you can no longer continue this relationship because of disrespect.

    12. My Boyfriend & I jist Had An Arguement Because He Asked Me “ What Do you Want To eat Tonight ?” I Replied “ Mcdonalds “ He Replied “ i dont Want McDonalds “ Im Like “ Well What Do you Want To Eat ?” He Said “ I Don’t Know “ I said “ Well I want McDonalds “ He Said “ I’m Not Going To mcdonalds “ BUT MCDONALDS IS LITERALLY AROUND THE CORNER . He Kept Saying What Do You want To Eat & I’m Like Idk Idk Idk I Want McDonalds . Then He Proceeded To say I’m Not Getting Ya Dumb ass Nothing . Earlier That Day I want To Have Intercourse But He Refused. & in this Current Situation He Proceeded To Say a “Thats Why I Don’t Want To F*** Your Dumb Ass Now” 5 Mins Later He Gets On The Phone & orders A Cheesesteak Platter & got In His Car & Drive Off . This Is A Minor Situation But It’s Been Bigger Ones . He’s called Me Worse & Has Done Worse But I Cant Take No more !

  2. This website couldn’t have come at a better time to me. Just met a guy who – granted – his past girlfriend DID do him wrong – no doubt… most of us have been there.

    I’ve met him 4 times and his nickname for me is “Crazy Bitch.”
    When I was sick he did NOT bring me chicken soup and say, “Hey – feel better..” he texted me two pictures of frothy beer mugs saying he was at a bar having a good time.

    Thanks for this article – I consider it a sign to leave while I’m ahead.
    Thank you!!!

  3. I have been dating a man who is older than me by about 20 years…I’m not a teenager, but I am considered mature. We met about 4 months ago and we really hit it off well in the beginning, but after a few weeks I noticed that he would use names like Tootsie, or toots and tell me my opinions were silly and similar names that made me feel slightly uncomfortable and then one night we were talking and he called me stupid and I immediately told hm to never call me that again. over the Christmas holidays he brought me to a family party to introduce me to his family…when it came time for me to leave because I had to go to work, he walked me to my car and as I was getting in my car I turned around and he slapped me on my bottom and sad “thanks tootsie for coming with me. I was hurt that even after I told him not to call me those names that he cared so little about my feelings on the matter, I decided to end the relationship the next day. It spoiled my holiday for sure, but if I continued, it would only get worse. Strangely enough however instead of feeling bad about it which did,I also started to feel like a weight had been lifted from me. I had not realized how much with in those few short months he had been controlling my emotions and self esteem. It’s nice to be back n control…Patrica

    1. Hi Patricia,

      I have been in a similar situation as you. He would call me names and make fun of me. When I protested he would do it even more to irritate me. I broke up with him and he kept begging me to go back to him. When I went back to him , he started repeating his abusive behavior. So I took a lot of courage and finally left him.

      You be brave,
      Best wishes

  4. My fiancee is constantly calling me names, and I have told him how this makes me feel. He constantly does it and he tells me he loves me. He is not the same man I met, he said I have you know. Comments?

    1. I am in the exact same shoes as you are. My fiancé of 3 years has been calling me names since last September 2017. Part of me still love him very much, but part of me knows that he’s not going to change. I was divorced to a physically abusive man, now another abusive relationship emotionally. Just last week he called me a liar, selfish, and full of S**t…over me letting him decide if he wants to pick up my kids from school.
      He didn’t apologize, I told him how I felt about his disrespectful behavior. I told him that I’ve been in a disrespectful relationship before, and I don’t want to re-live the same situation. He told me I deserve those names. I told him to give me space for two weeks, not to contact me at all. He doesn’t seem to be realizing what it means for a woman who truly loves him asking for no contact. I’m waiting ‘till the end of this month to see what’s going to happen next. I have set my heart to let him go, and I’m now preparing it. I believe he’ll repeat the name calling, and next time, one more name calling, he’s out of my life completely, no more two weeks space. I’m very very disappointed at him. He’s 52, never married, finally has me, a 40 yr old woman who loves him very much, and he WAS the love of my life… but no, I choose respect. No respect means no love. I may go through grieving period to let someone that I truly love go, but life must go on with respect. I’ve let go my disrespectful and abusive ex-husband whom I have my two precious children with. Then I should be able to let go this very disrespectful man who is not even officially married to me. It is not too late to have a respectful life,
      gain freedom now to choose respect. Our disrespectful fiancé will never change, we deserve better. We’d better be alone and respect ourself than being someone disrespectful for the rest of our life. We are beautiful inside and out, and someday, there will be a lucky man who can see the beauty in us and embrace the relationship with respect, lift us up and we’ll be happy that we make a right decision to leave a disrespectful man.

      1. I had been with a guy for 3.5 years. It started with him first telling me to shut up, and calling me “stupid”. Granted, I have two degrees and way smarter than him even though he has Masters. I put up with it, then he called my vagina a “piece of s***”, then he told me that after 30 years old the only job I will be able to do is be a prostitute. I asked him if his sister who is 30 something is a prostitute?

        I warned him that if he ever calls me a B*tch, I will leave. I also told him not to touch me during fights. One fight he pushed me against the wall, and called me B*tch. Only a coward will physically abuse and call woman names. I left.

        Just leave. If that man or moron cannot realize his own destructive ways, let him destruct himself, not you.

    2. Do you really want to be with someone for the rest of your life who calls you names and took off his “mask” now that he has you now? You’re not even married yet! Leave, my god, you’re throwing away years of your life if you stay. He’s not going to change. You ask him to not do something, and he does it. He’s hurting you on purpose, controlling you. You deserve someone loving and kind. What would your parents say if they knew this?

  5. My boyfriend gets angry when he doesn’t understand something and then turns on me. He usually calls me an “egg” which I thought was funny for the first two years but I am only a little tired of it. When I ask him to do something around the house, he throws a fit and threatens to get a job. It would be so nice if he got a job. We have been together for nearly three years and he hasn’t worked more than a couple of months in all that time. When I got laid off in the recent economic downturn, he blamed me for not getting along with my co-workers.

    I am not really sure what to do. He can be very sweet but he doesn’t seem to have much of a grip on reality. Yesterday, he went fishing so that he could “put food on the table” then gave all the fish away to his family and came home empty handed. A few weeks ago, our plum tree dropped about 40 kilo’s of plums. I wanted to take them to the market and sell them, he gave them to his mother to “pawn off on her friends” because there were “not enough to bother selling”.

    I have started an organic farm and he won’t allow me to take the produce to market because we need “a thousand pounds of each item” to make it worth our while. When I do bring in a harvest, he makes fun of me for having such low numbers. And yes, right now there are low numbers but 40kg of plums at $2.50 for 500g could have been worth $200 and one day’s work. But if I try to explain that to him, he starts yelling at me and telling me that I just don’t get it.

  6. I’ve been in this relationship for 4 years, and every single fight me and my “companion” have… Its not very good, … Bad its bad even… He calls me very bad things everytime we fight… And I actually “LOVE” this guy? And he claims he loves me ?
    Someone please tell me how ? I need someone to reassure me that am I wasting my time?

    1. If he makes you feel bad about yourself and its a common thing, you should walk away before you get stuck with him for real reasons. I dated a Russian guy who judged my sexual history and he would call me out and tell people intimate details about my life before him in efforts to embarrass me and cement his superiority. It was really hard to walk away from it but I finally did and I am able to look at it as a learning experience. Once you walk away you will feel stronger and never take s***/dish it out that way again.

    2. You are wasting your time Megan. The same thing is happening to me at the moment we have been together for 4 years and the same thing is happening. I have been reading a lot and I just realized that he doesn’t value me or respect me. He thinks that no matter how low he treats me I will still be there , because I love him…. And I’ve proved him right by still being with him. I realized that if a person loves you they shouldn’t ever treat you like this. Call you names insult you or degrade you. You are humiliating your self by being with him. He does not deserve you and same goes for me. We have to be strong enough to value our selves and let them go for our own sakes. This is not healthy and I love by boyfriend but I have had enough and I know I shouldn’t be with him and no matter how hard it is. You have to leave him because it won’t get better.

    3. I have the very same problem. Its very confusing. Im very beat down and have trouble finding happiness now. And he dosnt know why im not happy. I dont know if he loves me or hates me. I dont know if i love him or hate him. I know i should leave him but everytime i try ….i just cant.

      1. I am one of those abusers, i am a very very sweet person and loves too much but when i get angry about something and me my partner fight i usually tell her bad things and cal her bad names sometimes and later i would just regret it all. But i know deep inside me that i truly love her, i just cant control my anger. I need help.

        1. So don’t do it a real man / woman can an will Control themselves if that’s what they want if they love and respect a person they will control themselves allowing yourself to disrespect a person you say you love is disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself you should also be looking to find other ways to express yourself if you actually love a person and want to consider yourself a decent human being

        2. Atkeast you are admitting it, my ex continues to blame me for his actions. Go get the help you need. The first step to fixing yourself is admitting it, that’s the hardest part and you’ve already done it !

        3. I’m in a situation where these past weeks I’ve been constantly crying. My partner tells me that I can’t be successful and tells me that I’m stupid. Whenever I do something not on purpose he takes it out on me and tells me I’m a stupid bitch. I told him numerous times what those words feel towards me and it just goes past his head. It’s like ever little thing I do I have to be careful what I do or say. I’ve been with him for three years and this has gotten worse each year. I really love this person but now I have nothing to say to him anymore. Im lost for words. Im broken.

          1. Leave him and get your self back. You will feel so much better, I promise you. You will feel a huge weight lifted from you and you will gradually get back to the old you. Think about if your parents or siblings knew how this person was treating you, how sad and hurt they would be that someone is doing that to their daughter. That’s a way to realize it’s enough already!

      2. Hi Vickie. .only you can decide what to do for the best..but I assure you, I know exactly how you feel and how hard it can be. Loving someone who verbally abuses you one minute but is affectionate and loving the next. It’s heartbreaking, and emotionally draining. I have been with my partner three years…he calls me named I wouldn’t want to even write on here, then at other times he says and calls me the most loving things any man has ever before…. I love hI’m with my whole heart but also know whole heartedly tgat it is not ok, right or acceptable to call me the names he does.. to belittle, humiliate and intimidate me in private or on public…the worst in front of my young daughter. I feel like I should end the relationship and have told him if he doesn’t get help I will..but it’s so hard and havnt followed through..I know just how difficult it is ti dj what others may consider the right think, because we have in rated our love time and energy into someone ..something we want to last….but we deserve to be loved and respected ..not called names, abused and put down.

      3. I have a girlfriend that’s constantly like this. And when she drinks she gets worse … Especially in front of her guy friends. I have been patient and forgiving… But she won’t ever stop and it’s because she has no self respect. In the end you have to recognize that a manipulative person doesn’t recognize how they are and has little compassion. I don’t know how you do it but you have to get away. You don’t have a choice.

      4. I am in the exact same boat. My boyfriend is very controlling and will not let me hangout with anyone without him getting angry. He’s always very angry and negative. He calls me “f***ing retarded” every other day of the week.. and I lost my virginity from him, so I feel like I have some attachment to him, plus we have been together 2 years and I just don’t feel like starting over.

        1. Hi Allison, in my opinion you don’t deserve to be treated like this. In fact no one does. I think you should end this relationship. I know you don’t feel like starting over but if your boyfriend does these things you should break up with him and go out and meet new people and when the time is right you’ll meet the right guy.

        2. you don’t feel like starting over? 2 years is nothing in the scheme of life, don’t throw the rest of your years away being treated so poorly, PLEASE.

      5. I am in same Situation right now. I am in live in relationship with him for past 1 year and dont know how to get out of it. Please help

        1. I’m in a live in situation as well. Left my perfect life for this. I cannot believe I did this. He’s a monster. I can only pray.

      6. You Are Not Alone! Never allow a man to bring you so low to the point to where you hate him. It’s very unhealthy and toxic. You have to become happy with yourself. I’m just getting out of your same exact situation. He would call me terrible disgusting names and I fit more like his enemy more than a companion. He made me not want to engage in any kind of affection or anything. Run now. Stay strong and know your worth and everyone else will too

    4. What does your gut say? My boyfriend has even said he wishes he was with one of my sisters but he does it to get me mad. In no way shape or form I’m justifying he’s action but I know I’m a good women and I’m still here trying to salvage what’s left of what was once a beautiful thing. Try getting help for both of you and if that doesn’t then you’ll know what’s best. I hope God hears you and guides you to peace. We as women need to stick together because I’m embarrassed to talk to anyone about this thank you all for sharing your story.

      1. Hi Lupe and to all of the ladies sharing your painful stories of abuse. I too, am going thru the same thing and have been for over 17 months. When my so called boyfriend gets mad at me, he insults me to lowest degree. He calls me fat ugly ass bitch, a line backer, and says no one will ever love me but him. He calls me trash etc. Omg! It’s beyond unacceptable. He has hit me and threatened to kill me and bury me where no one will find me. He has choked me out. I love him much, but he accusses me of doing him wrong and he treats me worst than a dog. Today, he went so far as to say that he is seeing someone else and that she treats him good and has plenty money. Not once did he say anything that had meaning, because if it is that easy to be bought, then I know I am better off without him. It hurts, but God will bring me thru it. I never wanna be with a man for what he has, other than the right intentions to love me unconditionally. To all of you. We deserve so much more.

        1. You need to leave and you will be thankful that he gave you the reason by saying he’s seeing someone else. Don’t be a doormat anymore please.

    5. I feel the same as you do. Everything is perfect and we really get along together and we’re happy,but when there’s a problem a he gets mad it doesn’t matter if it’s a small or big problem, he treats me like s…t, he insults me and block me in every social media, he says that «so i can learn to not do it again» You’re wasting your time, and so am i, this is killing me. And then he says he loves me? After he made me feel like i don’t mean s…t to him. That’s not love and i don’t know how to leave. I’m scared, i know you are too.

    6. You’re wasting your time! Trust me. I’m getting over a situation with my daughters father. It started innocently enough and it got worse. I protested and he told me I was being weak for being offended. Four years later, the name calling and beratement continued. My gauge was how I responded to HIM when I was angry. I never called him names and I never belittled him. Why? Because I truly loved him. I also believe that when u LOVE someone, even in anger, u choose ur words wisely. Look at it from that perspective. Life is too short to spend it waiting on someone to respect you. If they can’t do it in the heat of an argument, they won’t do it at any other time. Trust your instincts!

    7. Hi Megan,
      I have a similar situation. EVERY SINGLE time my ex boyfriend and I fought (now over 6 years), he called me and my children names…horrible degrading names. This last time, 6 weeks ago I have not accepted his asking me back. It’s very difficult, I really thot he is all I could be comfortable with intimatly, emotionally, like I could never find anyone more compatable. I never knew these names, spitting on my stuff, pumping up his chest at me is considered abuse. I’m super sad.
      But I have been leaning on my children and exercising more. Its helped. My intuition tells me to move on, let him go. Listen to your intuition, it does not lie. Its what we know is right FOR OURSELF deep down in our gut. What the right choice is…for ourself and whoever we choose to be involved with! We need to let our intuition guide us, redirect us to peace and happiness. I was accustomed to ignoring my intuition, and letting him keep me down feeling inferior. Please give yourself what you deserve, and that is respect.

  7. hi my name is jannet have with my relatioship almost 5 years old i am 39 years old also he black it =was okay untilt he believe his best freids saying that i was talking bad at him what it wasnt true i alwsy talk about the i miss him when he was at work that was it know it since it turn all up an beleive him his so know its drama know my husband call me drama crazy lie =/i dont understand also he said i dont how to drive not be a women no t independly alll his family bi side call a lier drama unrespectful so iam tired i have baby 1 year old 12 months an 5 years old so what can i do i just dont want to argue or fight i amtired he belive them thats on him his freinds dont like eather from same thin i am byself houston with no one i need some advice any pleas thanks

  8. I can totally relate as i feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life I can a stable home in England,I came to the states and meet my husband.who I felt was the love of my life but once I said those volves it was over, thats when the manipulation started the name call the jealousy he even storks me he doesnt allow me to be me he contantly complsins about everything. I work 2 jobs to try and stay out the house because of the contant put down the lies it hurts deep inside so where.I feel so lost and miss my family I gave up everything to be with someone who mentally abused me everyday the eorst thing i can not leave because i will get deported and i have nothing to go back to i gave up everything to strt a new life with him and because i have forgiven him for so much he treats me loke crap now. It hurts so much god knows this is the eorst relationship i have been in i have never neen so disrespected lile this before.

    1. I know what you mean. I left my family in the Caribbean for this guy i fell in love with and he has mentally abused me for the last 7 years and we been together almost 11 yrs with 2 kids a 3yr old and an 8yr old and he says the most obscene things in front of them. Ihave nowhere to go i feel so stuck and my kids see me cry everyday and accuses me of things and calls me a prostitute says i sleep with a bunch of men and it is not true. Im suffering so bad

    2. What do you mean, you don’t have anyone? You have your family. I think it’s better to start fresh than live a life in hell. Girl….I hope you can move away from that man.

    3. I’m so sorry that you went through that. It broke my heart reading your post. I truly hope you are in a better place now and found your way out of that. Nobody deserves that.

    4. I am pretty much on the same page as you. Its the worst feeling… it all comes back and makes me think what did I do to deserve such a bad person in my life?! I am here for you … im not quite sure where u are . But im located in california and you are more thn welcomed to contact me for help! Im sure theres a way out … keep safe and positive. What doesnt kill us makes us stronger. God bless you sweetie

    5. Swetie 123 you are not alone.You are so brave coming all the way from a far land.At least you dont have kids by this man .I am trying 2 leave a similar situation but im.American and have kids and manage 2 get out of the same house .My kids father is so mean like your guy.Dont give up your life will be so much better without this toxic person around you.Whatever this man does he has a problem it has no affect on you.No matter what he says dont let him.destroy your belief in yourself. Believe your valuable and special. These men take advantage when your in a bad position .They bring many people around to convince you something wrong with you.Please stay strong people need good. People in they life and let these bad men be in they own sick world.You dont deserve to be treated this way you have rights and just because your a citizen of a different place dosent mean he can do this.

    6. Where do you get that you will be deported? I left me ex who was abusive. Got a divorce, still have my green card. Just renew it every ten years. I am not the only one, a friend from France had the same situation. You can leave and file for divorce, don’t let him fool you into thinking he can deport you! So not true!!!

    7. Dear sweetie. I just moved back to the Netherlands to”him”… from ending the relationship and going back to my homeland, missing him and willing to give us another chance I came back. After two weeks now I already regret it. Like you said…as more you forgive, the more disrespectful and powerful they get. He feels like he can say whatever he wants and I will always forgive him 🙁 I booked a vacation with my mum to Israel and he got furious cause I didn’t consult this with him (we are not married, I’m paying for this vacation). He called me selfish slut and later on throw a glass of water over me…I feel like a little baby cause when I “don’t listen” I get punished. I feel so embarrassed in front of my family that I left again for something like this 🙁

    8. You deserve better than what you’re allowing. Just remember you are allowing it. You have to be strong and gain that confidence back in yourself!! Once you forgive and abusive man, he will then do it again and again, thinking you’re always gonna take him back. He has no respect for you. I’m just getting out of a relationship similar to yours, although I wasn’t married. But that is never a reason to stay with a man, even if you have children with him. My advice would be to go back home, get a divorce, and never look back. Always watch out for the warning signs when you have a date. You are beautiful, you are strong, and you deserve better!!!! RESPECT

  9. I have a boyfriend that calls me ugly name abt my feet the way I look says I look like a woman that has 10 children

  10. I have been with the same man for almost 5 years. I am 25 he is 35. he has 2 of his three kids i raise them. he doesnt have a job. he doesnt help around the house or with children. I work, go to school full time and cook and clean and mow yard etc. He calls me ugly names that are beyond words cruel and abusive. I hate the way he makes me feel for no reason. Majority of the time its over absolutely nothing. If he is out of cigarettes, for instance that was the thing tonight. He began to call me a fatslob, and fat ass btch, along with other things. and He calls me names to his kids and refers to me as the fat bitch. I just wanna be able to leave and never look back. why do i stay and put up with the abuse not only verbal but physical.

    1. Hi Lnp,
      In regards your situation, you should never let him treat you like that. For once you don’t deserved that. It is disrespectful, and he doesnt seems to appreciate all you do for him. Look at the way he treat his kids, that tells you that he doesn’t have no bounderies and if you dont listen to does feeling that’s telling you that is not ok the way he’s treating, you’ll regreat it. If he loves you enough he’ll be willing to change that behaviour tours you and be an adult.

    2. im in that situation before love and trust theyllneva change twochoices in life good bad etc if u have the patience to wait to see if he does stay but if u dont let him go pray about it first of all im daniel stroud by the way im on face book daniel stroud stroud take care of yourself

    3. You absolutely do not deserve to be talked to and treated like an animal, especially in front of his kids who you take care of. He does not have respect for himself so he does not respect you. We can’t change anyone, we can only change ourselves. Get out and get with a support group. Many states have free abused women’s groups and are private and confidential. I left a marriage of 24 years and I was the most difficult thing I ever did. I healed and worked on me. You can get free. Just do it. Don’t tell anyone. Look into a group. Most women’s shelters have info of them. Take refuge and save yourself. No one else can. You deserve the best and do not settle for anything less. Go for it!! Be safe. I’ll pray for you. Please get away to safety. No one should have to live like this. Own your self worth and leave that highly abusive man.

  11. I just did this to my ex. and I did really love him and it was one time but I said it to hurt him and yes I had a break down.
    our relationship was a lot of work on my part and nothing on his. I stood by him while be deciced to move away and figure out what he wanted in life he tried leaving me then and then came back we were miles apart and I stayed loyal and when I saw him once in a blue moon I would go out of my way for him big time and it didn’t matter cause I loved him and wanted to make him feel special. (I don’t want him back, but I did love him)but it was one hard long distance relationship. he never called me he never skyped he barely texted me and I was nervous to text him cause he barely texted me. but I still would try and be patient and try and understand him. but then Christmas came and Christmas is always an exspenive time of year and I still saved and went out of my way for him got a hotel I bought him super nice thoughtful gift and I dressed up for him 😉 and all he got me was a little teddy bear plus he told me he got it last minute …………. ouch!!! so I ignored it and told him its okay I still loved it. then feb came and it was his birthday and my dumb ass went all out for him again bought him really nice gifts super exspenive ones to and I put thought into it to make sure he liked them I bought him a cake and let him eat sushi off me. then i found out for Christmas he bought and sent miles away his brothers gf really nice thoughtful gifts. I told him before his bd that he needed to do something for me or I was done( it was gwetting bad I felt taken advangted of.) I know saying that to him would of freaked him out but it would of showen me what I was up for. seeing how so far he was putting me on the back burner for a long time and over everything. anyways he couldn’t do anything nice for me. he couldn’t even think of anything nice for me so I dumped him. then I found out I was pergo with him talked a bit theni moved an hour away from him and he got back together with me and I lost the baby:( at 10weeks and he was not there for me at all. he came down two weeks after and I was still in denial about everything so we didn’t talk and then a few weeks later I told him we needed to talk and I didn’t see him for 5 weeks!! he would say he was coming down but not show or saying antying until last minute and it was me calling him so eventually I snaped I became an abusier I said everything I could think of that would hurt him. i do have restement towards him but hes not a horrible person just horrible for me. i hate myself for being abusive im not like that and im getting help so that next time im in so much pain i can deal with it better. but it has helped my anger about the situation on getting him out of mylife

    Feels good to write this out.
    i know he is no lose to me
    except the fact that i really did care.
    but i am so better off without someone like him.
    i know what i did was wrng but im only human and can only put up with so much

    1. I understand how so much frustration built up and finally you hit back with words. That reminds me of my mom and dad who are now divorced because he recently came clean about his affairs. He was not present during our childhood and they didn’t get along because they were terrible business partners and it was too heavy a load. He calls my mom evil because she would tear him down with words but how can you blame her when he was so terrible at communicating and showing her he loved her. It makes sense that you reacted, however, there was a lot of poison in that relationship. It isn’t fun to be the person who is angry and insulting either so in that situation no one wins 🙁 its for the better that its in the past. One of the biggest predictors of divorce is contempt. It sounds like that relationship was overflowing with underlying anger and resentment. I’m sorry that you put so much effort into that man and he didn’t return the kindness.


  12. Hi,
    I am 24 years old and I have been with my bf for four years. When I met him I wasn’t in a positive state of mind but since he was so kind and loving, I confided in him. I told him most of my secrets. Later in our relationship he began going through my things, asking me about more stuff, and he just basically wanted to know everything that’s occurred in my life. Today, I can honestly say he knows everything about me. I thought this was normal, I thought he was my best friend, and I thought he loved me.
    We had a lot of fights, about big and small things. At first it was just loud and disturbing, but then it became a little less loud and more hurtful. He started using my secrets against me. He would call me stupid, disgusting, whore, b@@@, c@@@, spick.
    My boyfriend is White and I am Hispanic. His family hates me because I am not White, I never considered him racist though. I thought, if he is with me and I am Hispanic then there is no way he is racist. But I think this is also something that I forced myself to believe. In private, he will call black people niggas, and not in the slang version of it; in a cold and hateful version. He also calls Hispanics spicks.
    Anyway, with all of this I still found it in me to love him so much and basically put him first on my list of priorities. When he is not angry with me he is super fun and loving. I moved out of my parents house and now live closer to him. Now that I have my own apartment, he has access at anytime but he doesn’t live with me. Thank god. He doesn’t help at all in my house. Sometimes, he buys food but that’s it. He has never offered to help me financially. He only ever gives me things on holidays or our anniversary. This year he didn’t get me anything at all. He said we agreed not to. I still got him stuff because I have always been a sucker for holidays and our anniversary. He knows this.
    Yesterday I went through his phone. I found a conversation with one of his female coworkers. She was telling him how she wanted to go bother him and how she is going away on vacation and she bought a few bathing suits. She send pics of the suits and told him how she hopes she gets **** while shes away. Smh. She said a couple of other things about her body parts and went on to talk about something else. I asked him about it and he got mad at me. He said I am not cut of to be in a serious relationship and that I am a stupid ****. He said that that girl is his friend and so on and so fourth.
    As long as we been together, neither of us has had any friends like this. This is one of the reasons I accepted the way he was, because I thought since he doesn’t cheat on me and respects me enough to not have inappropriate “friendships” with other girls then its a good trade.
    Its been two days since he has tried to reach out. Last thing he said was that I was a paranoid, jealous stupid ****.
    I know for sure we will be talking pretty soon, and I pity myself for wanting to talk to him but I don’t want to forgive him. I always blame myself for everything. I have been giving in for a couple years now. He is finally starting to win but I shouldn’t let him. I don’t know how I will get passed this but I have to try. One thing I realized is that before I met him, yes, I wasn’t in the best state of mind. I was all about fun and completely irresponsible. I made a lot of mistakes and had a lot of regrets but I still loved myself. I respected myself. Not anymore.

    1. I am in the same situation, I am 29 years old African woman dating a 33yrs old French guy for almost 4 years.He was never the wandering eyes type but from your experience I see now that one can’t have everything. I broke up with him lately but have to live in the same house to get at least part of my investment in the business we started together. He is begging and crying to take him back but I’m standing my ground as I strongly believe we’re not meant for each other. As I type this he is saying nasty things to me like oh you are barren, you are disgusting, your family is poor, how could you be pregnant at 17, you are second hand, stuff like this . But I know this is how nacissists behave. I am making arrangements to leave this house in the next two weeks, all I have to do is tune him out and do my work. My dear you need to ask yourself is this something you want in the next 3-5 years. I’d say leave , you’ll be fine.

    2. hi ladies my name is Nadia I have been in a relationship for 5months with my boyfriend we work together we stay together so like every second to 3rd day he comes home with stories from work, his like this guy who knows an listen to everybody and he will belief everything & anything anybody tells him I cant play with him nor make jokes with him he is the only person to make jokes with me if I do he gets angry and start calling me names ,saying my mother don’t tech me manors or I don’t have respect, the other day he farted in my face an told me it was a joke , point is am being called a dirty bitch, disrespectful for no reason, saying am sleeping with married man( something iv never done in my life) ,am not wife material, I will never get married or find a men better than him ,he calls me a **********, he points his finger in my face telling me he gonna **** me up then leave me ,am so stupid an al this names just because I went to my mother who stay 10minuts away an only returned back home after 1hour 30minuts (first of all he knew I had a cold so who wouldn’t go to her mother if sick ?) an the fact that I couldn’t cook I mean there is bread ,cheese an what so ever in the fridge, please ladies I need help am I being abused or what is this ?

    3. I am in complete shock right now as I just finished re reading your post over and over again because I cant find one thing that’s different in my relationship! I kind of wonder what this guys name is because I swear that your talking about my boyfriend!!!

      I went through his phone a couple of nights ago and he caught me! I was immediately called a ****, whore, LIAR, Stupid, etc…The problem is that he caught me right at the moment that I started going through his phone and that I wasn’t able to go through and see if he had any conversations going on with any women in his phone….We’ve been together for almost ten months now and I moved in with him very early on in the relationship and I’m The FIRST girlfriend that he’s EVER lived with!! He is 44 years old and I’m 36 years old!!! He’s NEVER been married or had any kids either!! He was in a long term relationship of 7-8 years that ended a little over 3 years ago…She didn’t move in with him as he told her that they would build a house together once both of her kids were 18 years old which I believe was the ultimate reason she ended up leaving him…So, when he calls me a stupid ********* and that I’m the only person that has ever made him feel like THIS, I actually believe it!!!
      He also said that I was a paranoid, stupid jealous **** and he used that same line that I’m not cut out to be in a serious relationship, which hes said this same thing before…I just couldn’t believe that while I was reading your post that someone else would say THE SAME EXACT THING!!!
      I have caught him earlier on in the relationship talking and flirting with other women through fb messenger and texts on his phone which is a HUGE reason I decided to go through his phone the other night, and he also wouldn’t speak to me the last couple of days, either! When we get into these arguments which pretty much started pretty early on in the relationship, he yells at me and says that he doesn’t believe a word I say and accuses me of talking to and hooking up with other guys all the time even though he ALWAYS knows where I am and there’s never any time in my days that goes unaccounted for!!! This makes me furious because I haven’t spoken to, text or even remotely flirted with another guy since I met him!!! Tonight when I came home which we were supposed to go skiing together today and because I made him so mad for going through his phone and being such a lying ********* the other night that he didn’t include me and reminded me of that tonight as well and how he was going to buy me a pair of skis today as well….He HIT me… it finally happened…I can’t believe it…he shoved me into a wall and then when I was curled up on the chair in the living room and wouldn’t respond to any of his accusations or demeaning words he came back out into the living room and came back at me with his fist..I flinched and automatically put my arms up in defense…He just stared at me for a minute with his fist in the air and then said he would never hit me and that he would never want to hurt me! WHAT??!! It wasn’t even 5 minutes prior that he hit me and slammed me into the wall!!! He also told me for the first time tonight that nobody would ever love me the way he loved me..He also calls everyone spicks and used the N word all the time but openly and has made comments out loud about the JUNGLE music that a bar has played…
      Is this the same guy??!!! I’m sort of Kidding…can anyone please give me some advice??? How do I get our relationship back into a good spot and keep it there?? This is the FIRST man I’ve EVER truly loved and I was married once before and have lived with 2 other boyfriends in my lifetime as well, which he KNOWS ALL of this but he also knows that I cheated on my husband and other boyfriends as well which ive used as an excuse for him even though I’ve been to therapy and made some major changes in my life and i continually tell him that I’m not the same person I was when I was in my 20’s!!! I was married at 20 and had a child!! I was young and dumb!

    4. Love yourself First Ladies!Dont stay with a annoying ass piece of s*** who won’t help you and feels the need to control you.Been there done that.words do hurt but you all don’t need to be degraded as a person over all or disrespected at anytime,anymore!Ive been putting up with mental abuse from relationships and I unfortunately deal with mental abuse from my dad on a regular basis.I understand and know all to well.you feel aweful and can’t think straight from verbal and emotional abuse.Im writing this and being verbally abused as I write this but I have learned to block it out.Just love yourself first.love your children,if you have any.Stand up for yourself and stick to your words that you will not tolerate this type of behavior from them.They all say there sorry.Nope.dont trust it.It hurts cause you feel victimized and a form of voilated and you tell yourself ,you deserve better.Just remember,you can do bad all by yourself and you don’t need help!!!These people are getting pleasure from your pain.Take back your self confidence back and do what is going to help you best.You are not alone.The best thing to do when someone is insulting you is to say nothing and walk away!!!Ignore them completely!its easy said than done and don’t think you can’t get someone else cause you can.you ladies need good hobbies and jobs that makes you a lot of money so you can be the provider of your family and not rely on no one.Dont like how he treats you,your going to have to change your environment.Its not always a pill for mental ,emotional ,verbal abuse.You are a person and people love you.You are somebody to someone and you are important.Do the right and legal stuff.dont break the law.just saying and do what is best for you.

    5. My husband calls me names of all sorts , repeats things over and over again, gets in my face, , I do not degrade myself because of him as a matter of fact the more he does it the stronger I get ,I know that I am a person of great ability and no one but no one is bringing me down especially a man.

  13. She’s called me embarrassing once…for nothing
    She loves me I hope. And she knows I love her. She was talking too me. And this the only person I’ll stay up till 5in the morning too talk too. But one time she was at her friends house and she texted me and told me too FaceTime. So I did and I told her I love her and I wasn’t talking much at all. I want her too spend time with her friends and family. And I even ask if I’m bothering her and she says no. So I don’t leave. I just don’t want too bother her. But she told me this one time she said it very rudely she said “I don’t just have too talk too you”. And that really hurt me. I love her and if I lost her it would kill me

    1. Jeff,
      It is clear that you love this person but I want you to know I have never answered anyone’s response before. Remember that you need to love yourself in order to love someone else. You must never think that it would kill you if a relationship ended. I hope you meant it would hurt you a lot. I someone leaves you then it may hurt you for a long time but eventually you will find someone else even though it may seem impossible. You left this message a while ago so I hope you get it. I am in a very bad situation in my life where I was married to a man and he had a mistress. He divorced me and I literally go messed over in court and have nothing at all left in the world except my dog. I’m scared and very sad. I;m staying with a man I thought was a christian but he also knows I have nothing. He has started to use this against me. He is constantly telling me how pretty other women are. How he wants to sit in the window of a restaurant so he can watch people with big boobs. He once called me old although he is twelve years older than I am. He tells me I am beautiful but with all the comments he makes he makes me feel insecure and he tells me I am to sensitive. That I have an issue and he can’t be with me. Once when we were out I made a comment about my business I used to have and he embarrassed me for no reason. He’s also recently called me a **** and squeezed my mouth shut when I didn’t take the blame as I usually do. I know I need to leave this situation. In fact yesterday he told me he can’t be with me because I am too sensitive. I’ve read that talking like this and mentioning women and then saying I am too sensitive is wrong and none of my other men partners have ever done this. I am older and in my generation at least men may notice a woman but not say things like :whoa: about someone many generations younger. He still wants me to live at his home but nit be with me. Again, due to my husband having power I was left with nothing. I haven’t worked in years and I also am sick with a neuro issue. I am scared and heartbroken but I know that I will find a way and happiness again. Please know you will too.

  14. Ive been dating this much older guy for a while now and it was perfect at first but then he started calling me names every name that is and everytime I would give a guy a hug he didnt like it at all he doesnt even like me talking to other men. And he asks me to make money for him by sleeping with other men I dont know if he is joking about that or not but this is the creepiest thin g he keeps asking me to have a three some with him and his son again dont know if he is joking or not. And I also have pimples on my face and he said I have pimpleitus and that you cant even see my face anymore. And he says this stuff in a normal toned voice and its always usually when we are getting along its really weird.

    1. Lynn, Hi. I dont often reply but i read your post and it creeped me out. I would run as fast as i can. He is testing you. He wants to make money from you. By doing a 3way thats his way of breaking u in. You are beautiful and respectable. Dont let that mother fer treat you that way. Only be treated with respect. Demand it!!! He’s trying to pimp you out. Love always Robin D

  15. Thank you to open my eyes it hurts but you said when someone calls names like my supost boyfriend who lived in my apt almost two years and even I give him my love,been generous in many aspects he never gave me credit for how nice I was, also accepted his son leaving with us and he never gave me any credit. I know he’s much younger than me but he called me fat in the past two weeks a go. Then blame his Christian religion to stop have intimicy with me since this wwek.Even he went to church last Tuesday he did call me old !! yesterday!? Because I told him I would like to heard from his Pastor about if this changes are normal.For my experience I would like to confirm that most of the persons treat wrong to a good people very unfair and wick! But with bad people they have more respect or fears to abused them or called names. We need to stop this to hurt good people If is no love tere mans or womans just move on don’t be evil.Thanks.

  16. I feel like am being emotional abused by my boyfriend who’s younger that me btw.he diminishes humiliates and verbally abuses me then later on claims that he was only joking.I don’t know how to fight this because I am also in major depression and dealing with it right now.he’s the only one who knows about it maybe as to why he treats me like this.I don’t know what to do because also we don’t have support systems for such cases here.At least not any that I’ve heard of.am jus so sad with no one to talk to.my family is busy struggling with domestic issues that I don’t want to add to.my world is just so cold.

    1. Hi there I read your comment and I’m in same boat . The man I’m with is older than me and when we got together we hit it off things were great we laughed got along so well . Then things slowly started changing he would always refer to me as bitch and I told him numerous times not to call me that and he would shove it off and say he was joking an continue to disrespect my wishes . Then he would lie to me about going to Hang it with his ex and came over one night trying to cover up hickies . All and all I trie to forget it an move forward with him . Then he lied about places e went and would ignore me all night long or ditch me and later I still moved in with him an now he insults me all the time and still says he is joking but it hurts my feelings and he insults the way I think how I do things and I am completely not myself anymore and I cry to him and he just gets mad calls me crazy paranoid and makes everything out to be my fault and e is so good I actually believe him at times I feel like I’m going insane . He can be really nice too and so I’m split I don’t know if he loves me or if he gets a kick driving me mental or if he even realizes he is doing this to me

      1. Laura, I’ve been searching for someone else who could so eloquently and accurately decribe the same emotional abuse my husband has inflicted for 3 years now. Its not our fault, its them and they hate us for being confident in our abilities and for even being to know what “being myself” is. These weak men are empty and numb long before they duped us into believing they were sensitive and caring enough to put their selfish immature needs aside. He is deliberately trying to make you feel crazy, I gaurantee it. All i can advise is just cut off any attempts to fox things…they want to drain us of all energy so that we will be exhausted and confused and too tired to really wake up and ser the light! They literally think they got married so that they may legally posess a human body that is nothing but a “slave” for them forever or until they find something else. What im mow trying while making a seperation plan is just to avoid him as much as physically possible (and it is a challenge, as we had just set up our “dream” home together…its tough feeling like i cant sleep in my own bed forfear he will try to make a move and if i give in in a human moment of weakness he will assume all is forgiven or that i have been bluffing. If I hear him approaching i make a plan to walk away or devide which household task will keep me from having to interact. Sometimes i faulter and start to think maybe its alll just me, that hes a loving generous man and im the abusive one, or I might even start to o feel lice for him and hope in the But then he’ll out of the blue call me a piece of **** or take my vehical without asking or randomly bring up a list of people who “dont like me” or let me know with denial and threats of abandonment that He doesnt give a flying **** how his passive aggression, sociopathic insensitive mind games have caused my mental state to degrade…I even got diagnosed with a form of ptsd…major anxiety…and psychotic disorder…he was my whole world i gave up my whole life and sense of self to be with him. this is only 5 years into the relationship!!! I cant handle his needs or demands anymore, i tried the whole “work on myself, try harder, be a devoted wife and mother” thing….never good enough for him to stop calling me names when hes feeling bad about himself he lashes out at me. Will say the ultimate worst unthinkable insult/lie he can think of at the drop of a hat….he digs and nakes jabs at personal things i have told him in confidence…issues that weigh heavy on my heart and that i was never strong enough to tell another soul about. Because when he is mad all he can think is how to make me feel the pain even worse or how to shut me down so completely that i get stockholm syndrome and beg him to rescue me from it all. Its sick. I just wanted to say good for you for be able to recognize this abuse pattern and question it. Get out before he pushes you to make the ultimate mistake and get married, i promise that sweet loving sensitive man you see 50% of the time that makes you feel obligated to stay- that guy is fictional and he will disappear completely and stay gone once you commit to him fully. Please treasure yourself and relish the fact that you still have a choice and options to leave. Love and light sister <3

    2. Hi kiera I have been with a man on and off for 17 years and have 4 kids by him.This guy sounds terrible. It looks like he wants you 2 feel bad about yourself 2 destroy your self esteem 2 be happy he sounds miserable and is sick eneogh to joke when he makes you feel bad .I have a similar problem with my kids father who is ten years older than me and im 37.You seem so young and so beautiful.These thoughtless men most of the time i have seen dont change.They look for an opportunity 2 hurt a woman 2 keep them in further depression. Please know i understand from A woman point of view I feel pain because i know what its like for a guy 2 hurt me emotional and laugh or pretend its a joke.This is serious and can affect your emotional health.This guy sounds useless not good at all

    3. I have been going through the same thing…the pain was too much. I couldn’t take it anymore so I broke it off. We love each other but I also have to protect myself. This is my only insurance that he can’t hurt, emotionally abuse, disrespect, take advantage of, and ignore my needs anymore. I felt instantly better for standing up for myself. Also if he really want to work on this, it will have to be at a safe distance before I can trust him with my heart again.

    4. He wants to CONTROL you by humiliating, manipulating and demeaning you. Such abuse often escalates to physical abuse and psychological manipulation. ‘Name calling’ is verbal and emotional ABUSE. Please muster your strength and courage and find a safe place to live where he cannot access you -even if it means moving far away. Good luck to you!

    5. You are not alone .be strong and love yourself .You can make good decisions.dont tell him everything cause Im sure he don’t tell you everything he does.you can get through this.you are beautiful and you will come through this.words do hurt and do what is going to invest and benefit your future.

    6. Im so sorry Keira. I know how it feels to.be depressed. I also that those who have never actually felt depressed dont understand what you actually go through in your mind. The sadness, emptyness, wanting to be alone, feeling like moving forward is pointless. He should not do this to you but help you with your illness. Your post is old but I hope he has stopped treatinf that way and things are better for you.

    7. Get away from him who says cruel things, then laughs it off. He is a manipulator of the worst kind, and here is why: when you tell him that he has hurt you, he will make it seem as though you are crazy, because “you know I was only kidding.” This is called gas lighting, and it can make even a most secure person feel insecure. But not you–because now you know about it. The next time he speaks cruelly, tell him that what he said is cruel, that you won’t accept that sort of “humor,” and “That’s One.” The next time he does it, just say “That’s Two. One more time and you are out.” If he takes strike three, walk right out the door. Good luck. You deserve a great guy who makes you feel loved and wonderful, all of the time.

  17. Sometimes someone can wind you up and you say stuff you regret. It’s true, you shouldn’t do it.
    I guess if one partner is behaving in a bad a selfish way that hurts the other and he/she gets hurt and angry and says stuff they regret then that’s one thing.
    If someone just abuses you without provocation and it’s not even an argument then you deserve better.
    I’ve been guilty of saying things I regret – but my friends say I’m an idiot for allowing that female partner to do what she does to me. Even so, I shouldn’t have said what I did. I think you have to look at the whole scenario, consider deeply how you feel and talk to someone close to you about it.

  18. You have to understand the differences too.
    Saying “You are behaving like an idiot” or anything in that manner is not calling you an idiot, it is calling out your current way of thinking or acting to be idiotic.

    Wheter or not you agree with him/her is another question, but you have to learn to differ between “Emotional Abuse”/”Verbal Abuse” and just being a normal human being.

  19. I would like advice… My boyfriend of a year and a half has been treating me very poorly. He cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship and I’m sure it’s happened multiple times since. He’s so protective over his phone. I wanna snoop but it’s wrong…. One of his female friends messaged me and was asking me questions like how do I knkw him yada yada yada…. I said I’m his gf who are you. She stated they had been talking for three years but couldn’t be together bc if the distance between them. She gets pissed when I post pics and fun things we do. He’s even blocked me on Twitter and Facebook bc of her. She’s been messaging me so I tell her what we do to p*** her off. He’s not hers he’s mine. I think if they live each other they should be together… He stays on Facebook and i mean he lives on social media.
    He doesn’t do anything for me, he’s not affectionate with me, he doesn’t do nice things most boyfriend’s do and I spend lots and lots of money on him and his child. He hasn’t done s*** for my kids. Not even for Christmas and I spent alot on his daughter.. His family loves me better than he does I think. I need advice to weather I should move on or try to fix this bc I do love him. Just a few weeks back he was late getting home and he said he had to meet a friend and let her borrow money. This friend is a woman he wants to be with but she won’t date him… I gotta confess before I go any farther I broke into his phone while he was sleeping bc I couldn’t take it anymore. What I saw was heartbreaking. The slut I mentioned earlier omg what he says to her I wish he said to me. He tells her he doesn’t live me and they will grow old together.. She lives 1000’s of miles away.. I saw she traveled to be with him and he said that it was worth the wait and if she moved close to him she would be his. It’s heart wrenching to see this s***. And the other woman he let borrow money he let her borrow $500.00 and that was almost his whole payday. He uses me to benefit his whores. He has no idea I knkw any of this and it’s hard to keep this to myself. He told this lady that he wanted her back a d what they used to have back. She didn’t reply bc she was using him for money I think. He tells me she’s just a friend but clearly I know better. Ok this weekend was really hard bc we had an argument and he called me a fatass and said he didn’t love me… Tonight he pushed me and tried to choke me. I’m afraid of him but I do love him. He’s quit having sex with me and he says it due to stress. I’ve always heard if ucaint getting it someone else is. Ohh yeah after almost two years he refuses to post our relationship on Facebook bc he says he wants our relationship to be between us. It’s obvious he had a girlfriend bc of the comments I put on his post but he probably tells his bitches he’s single and Im crazy. Plz someone give me advice on what I should do. Plz and thank you

  20. I’ve been dating this woman for 4 months. Like all relationships, everything was wonderful until I pointed out some things and how she disappointed me. That’s when the insults started. Long story short, I’m done with her.

  21. i have a boyfriend who is always insulting me,calling me a cheater while m not,he wants to control me,always wanting to know where i am and with who bt he dont tell me any of his and he dont provide for me

    1. My boyfriends the same but he’s learning a little bit to check himself. He’d get mad cuz I would buy the new Jordan’s and we’d fight to the point my mom had to get involved. He would think I’m buying them to impress some other guy and then later say he did it because he didn’t want me getting scammed by buying fake Jordan’s. I still by my shoes I fact he doesnt live with me but we’re still trying to see if we can salvage 4yrs but it’s not looking good. What I’m saying to you is that if you know deep inside your not doing anything wrong, fight, fight with all your heart and soul but don’t let him change you, you aren’t doing nothing wrong. That’s how I see it I go out with my mom or I buy whatever I want knowing that when he’ll find out we might get into in a big argument, and it hurts to think that but if you give in to him he’ll start feeling like he has a point and soon everything he says will be right. I hope God can give you strength and take care

  22. Pingback: Online Dating the Right Way – Dustin Off The Rust
  23. Why is my wife calling me useless. That word has made me fel very bad and touching just because i didn’t help him at night when the babie was crying. And the other days i do help i pay all the bills and everything in the house pluse paying the house girl.and she is working and paid well. And she cals me useless is that right am very despointed even now am not talking to even i don’t fel like eating in that house what can i do

  24. Hi my boyfriend mentally abusing me. I’ve been with him for 15 years and everytI me I leave he crys and says he is going to kill himself so I come back everything is fine for a couple of months and right back to the same thing I really don’t think he loves me and I want to leave this state so I don’t have to come back here but we got a child together please will someone help with me get out of the state

  25. I would like to become friends with others that have been going through this because I go through this almost everyday and it just tears me to shreds sometimes i feel worthless because of it

    1. Im going through the same , my boyfriend claims to love me and i believe him but not so much when he gets mad and irritable at me for the tiny things i do , like if i say no to doing something for him , or if i dont do as he says , or just not agreeing with him and having a difference in opinion triggers him.

      I have anxiety and it takes allot of paitence to deal with me , i require allot of reasurance , and when i want it he just gets angry when i get doubts and he just says what i feel is true sense “i dont believe him anyways ” as he says, which isnt the case .

      Several things set him off , and i feel like its all my fault . I love him so much . Id do about anything for him .

    2. Lisa,

      So funny your timing. I am in the process of trying to leave my abuser after 2 plus years of his constant abuse. I have some stories I could tell you my friend, and it would be great to have someone to share this all with as I am very alone here. Please reach out.

      Best wishes,


    3. I’m in need of support from women going through this. I’ve been with my sons father almost 5 years, and we live with his parents( living hell for me because I disagree with the way they think and because recently his mom and I got into a physical fight, and I’m still living here) I live here because I enrolled my 4 yr old in a school very close to us. My boyfriend calls me names all the time and it really hurts me. So much that my self esteem has lowered, and before him I was a very confident woman. We’re both 24. This morning he was using a machine to blow trash away from the floors and he told me not to pick it up with a broom and duster, but I did because I didn’t want him to throw it in the alley. So he got very upset because I did that. And I wondered to myself is that a valid reason to get so angry with me???? So I stayed outside to analyze it and came inside to hug him, and he gave me the most stupid look and started yelling because I didn’t listen to him. He gets mad over anything!!!!! And when he’s not mad he’s so nice and somewhat loving. He buys me anything… but his anger gets out of control sometimes and then he tells me to leave with my mom or dad. I ignore it because I don’t wanna leave for the spur of the moment. I don’t wanna live in a negative environment for myself and my son. This family has issues mentally and they precieve life differently than I do. My parents want me to live with them because they are looking out for us but I can’t find the courage to leave because I tried that before and I ended up back with him in his parents house. I only live here because I’m getting my college education( I have my aa in psychology) and I want a Ba so I have better opportunities and because my sons school is really close by. but I can’t stand being treated like s*** all the time. I feel like it’s taking a toll on my health…. I have anxiety and I feel depressed at times. Fighting is so toxic I’m tired of it

  26. My girlfriend calls me names constantly and im tired of it and she would insult me to the point where i would feel like im nothing and useless but that usually happens when shes angry and sometimes i doubt if she loves me or what. I believe that if someone loves you is not meant to say such hurtful things and claim to love you in the end.

    1. Trust me John, she doesn’t. I just went through this and I can honestly say it is one of the hardest things in the world. I’m super sorry that you have to experience it too. My suggestion? Break it off IMMEDIATELY. She doesn’t respect you and never will. It’s more a reflection on her character than it is on yours. Just remember that. Take care and love to you. <3

  27. im 21 and been with my.boyfriend for 4yrs and we are now expecting our first baby together his second my first and i know it can be stressful but it was bad to begin with our relationship was built on a lie and a suppose to be one night stand . i get called a bitch a stupid mf when ever he gets mad whether it be a fight between us or just something made him mad and i try and help or im not doing something the way he wantts me to or im to slow . it makes me nervous and i freeze up all i wanna do is cry and i dont wanna raise my daughter in this but i love him so much . and recently i had an old high school friend contact me and ask how i was doing and he told me to leave that he will help me raise my daughter that o should leave before the baby gets here . mind you i work he doesnt but my friend works goes to college and has a car . i dont know what to do . i want whats best for my daughter but im stuck. i need advice/help.

  28. I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 10 years. Im 54 and hes 52 In the past year when he gets mad he calls me all kinds of nasty names. Its so hurtful. Names like stupid B****,Fing idiot, dumb a** and the list goes on. I was abused as a child by my stepmother and ran away at age 15.When he treats me like that it brings back all them memories as well. Anyhow the next day when we wake he is back to calling me baby ect. He acts as tho the night before never happened. when I try and talk about it he starts getting all mad and says you want to keep it going. Like I’m suppose to just wash the hurt away but I cant. Ive talked to him ask him how can he talk to me like that but says he loves me. I cant work. We both own the land and home its in both names. I feel so stuck, very sad. Its ALWAYS my fault in his opinion. I’m lost feeling so depressed. I just want to feel loved.

    1. My situation is very similar. I’m 51 next week and he is 54. This the 2nd time round for both of us, but I still have two of my children with me. I knew him for 10 years before we moved in together 2 yrs ago. Into his house. his ex martial home. the home his kids were born in. NOT A GREAT IDEA!
      My first husband passed away at age 32 and I haven’t had the best trip up grief street.
      My partner now, calls me names. Filth, lowlife, dumb ass, wish he never met me, prostitutes are a better option, hes wasted his life knowing me, and then the other night he said no wonder my first husband commit suicide. Apparently I drove him to it, calling him a poor young fellow with a bitch like me.
      I’m a strong woman but I’m scared of facing the wide world alone for the rest of my life. I’m financially ok and can afford a place for me and my girls and I do book house inspections for the first 3 days, then I melt and feel I should make it right even tho he hasn’t spoken to me all this time. Its like I’m looking into missing him before I even leave. Its always my fault and I don’t look forward to making things right as I have to appologise for things I never did or said. Then I feel resentful and I dislike myself for not moving out. and the cycle starts again. I’m not saying I’m perfect and I’m pretty sure I say things that are sometimes alittle silly. Mostly with my sense of humour. He seems to be able to say anything he likes and I just have to take it. His way or the highway, he says HELP ME!

    2. Hi Deb,
      I’m in the same kind of situation now. He calls me names, usually when he’s had a long night of drinking, and then will pretend it never happened. He has literally called me a stupid b***h a c**t, and has said I was “unattractive” and to “shut my fat face up.” The next morning when I bring up the hurt he yells and me and tells me I always want to drag on arguments and to just let it go. Please tell me what you did with your situation. Like you, I feel trapped.

    3. Hi Deb, I’m going through exactly the same emotional abuse as you. I get blamed for everything. When I defend myself I get called a c**t. We have two very young children. I’m leaving this toxic environment tomorrow with my babies. I can’t tell him, as when I did try discuss separating before, he went nuts and rang my Mam and abused her too verbally also.

    4. You need a job .build your own bank account.tell him,your paying a bill for of some sort.take that money out of the bank and put it into a savings account with no one name on it.

    5. I feel your pain…I.ve been married for 14 years and since the 10th year rolled around he started to get really angry at everything I approached him with…every thing he says has the word f’ng in front of it when he is describing me and this is extremely painful because I came from a broken home that was very difsfuntional. We have 2 kids tween and teen, and it hurts even more because he doesn’t filter his anger toward me in front of the kids. I feel stuck. This house is not a home without love. I want to leave but I think of the pain and hurt this will cause my kids and I stop. I wish so desperately for a chance in him that is tender hearted and loving…not sure what to do either….very sad..just wanted to write and say your not alone. Here’s hoping to a better life….life is to short to live in bondage.

    6. I am going through something like this. I feel like i can’t have feelings or opinions on anything. If I try to stay calm and talk to him about how i feel he just tells me to shut up and if I mention it again he is done with me. I feel so low and unwanted that i stay depressed. I keep praying that I will meet someone new who will give me the courage to leave him but how could that happen? I am so beat down and sad i can’t even look at anyone or even smile. My friends have all left me because they can’t stand watching him treat me this way. I feel so alone and so broken and sadly he is all I have left. Today he broke up with me because I was hungry and i wanted to go get food. His anger was because I didn’t give him and exact time i would be back. I know he will come back later and i will forgive him and blame myself like i always do. I don’t know how to stop myself 🙁 You can’t help who you love….

  29. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year and 3 months and in the beginning we were in that honeymoon phase for the longest time. Anyhow for about 6 months now, every single time I try to explain the way I feel, he gets mad or irritated and would start saying I’m stupid, that I’m dumb for saying that, and to just shut the **** up. My friends have been telling me that I’m in a toxic relationship for as long as I can remember, and to be honest with you I’ve barely realized myself..

    1. I have been going through the same thing…the pain was too much. I couldn’t take it anymore so I broke it off. We love each other but I also have to protect myself. This is my only insurance that he can’t hurt, emotionally abuse, disrespect, take advantage of, and ignore my needs anymore. I felt instantly better for standing up for myself. Also, if he really wants to work on this, it will have to be at a safe distance before I can trust him with my heart again.

    2. i am in the same thing, he turns every single one of our problems on me. he calls me mean names and makes me feel like dirt. but i cant talk to him about it because he wont listen, but i cannt leave him, i love him and dont want to see him with anyone else.

  30. Hi, I’ve been with the same guy for almost 4 years and we live together with his parents yes we are young im only 18 but hes all I have. I dont have no family or friends. When he gets mad at me and thats often he tends to call me names like a bitch and a retard and so on. This has been since we hit our 2nd year. We have broken up alot but still strong. Im unhappy and I dont know what to do. I dont want to ise him for a place to live so thats out of why im still with him. I cant figure it oit why I cant end things. I am very clost to his family and friends and it would hurt to leave them but what do I do. I feel like all mine and his relationship is, is emotional and some verbal abuse what do I do?

    1. Hey I’m 24 yrs old and I’ve been with my man for 4 years too. He’s 22 yrs old and I think that has a lot to do with how he is. Not to mention he had bad experiences with women all his life including his mother who wasn’t really there for him. I know exactly what all you ladies are feeling and I hope God hears you guys. I was depressed for a while too I even had a miscarriage with my man and still calls me really ******* names. I feel dumb every time I take him back because I fool myself that he’ll change but it’s been four years and he hasn’t. He thinks I’ve cheated on him with his freinds his godfather even my own fathers workers and mechanics it’s ridiculous. But anyways he doesn’t live with me anymore I have a pretty tight knitted family. Anyways my heart goes out to all you ladies and just keep your heads up and remember God won’t put an obstacle you can’t overcome. I find myself thinking wether I should just call it quits but I don’t know why I keep thinking he’ll change. I’ve nevered cheated on him I love him with all my heart and soul but he doesn’t trust me he always thinking I’m hoeing around and I know I’m a good woman I’m better than this. my father showed me what a man suppose to act like. I’m lost I go to church and just ask God to do whatever has to be done even if it’ll hurt me.

    2. Honey you are young, you have your whole wonderful life to live. You should start off by enrolling yourself in some educational classes. And get a little job and seek out some help from social services. They can help you get a little apartment of your own. Then he will no your not gonna put up with his crap. Please dont allow this to be your life. Dont allow any man or person to treat you with such disrespect. Love yourself. They will keep doing what there doing if you allow it togo on. With all my love Robin D.

    3. I feel you on the no family or friends thing… I have no family, no friends, no car, no phone, no job, my friends are the cashiers in stores when I go outside to buy stuff.

    4. it`s very painful to be verbally abused, i`m in the same situation. all I`m doing is praying to pass this feeling

  31. All ladies here, you should leave those worthless men in your life as soon as possible! They try to make you feel bad because they are worthless and will never be able to love. They can only give you what they have inside and that is all negative. You cannot change them or help them. Leave them before they ruin you, it’s better to be alone than in bad company. You will see that you will get your happiness and strength back being alone. And you will meet someone a million times better. Focus on yourself!

  32. Hello everyone I’m in need of help. I’m an 18 year old female my partner is 21. I’ve been with him for a couple of years. He is the only person to make me feel so happy and amazing yet the only person who can really truly hurt me. It’s not just verbal it’s physical and emotional. I have scars on my body from previous times he’s hurt me. Had numerous bruises and black eyes and he says the most horrible things to me regularly I really don’t know what to do. I love him and I can’t let go. We always find a way back to eachother no matter what’s happened previously. It’s a vicious cycle and I can’t get out something in me just won’t let me leave. he is amazing when he’s nice, so sweet and lovely and thoughtful but when it’s bad it’s really bad. when it’s physical I fight back, does this mean I’m abusive to? I know he loves me and I love him. Why are we doing this to eachother can someone please help and tell me what to do

  33. I’m also in a relationship for 2 and a half years now he also colls me names n I’m emotional about that always. I told my self that it will pass but it doesn’t… I’m not afraid to loss him cause hes the one who’s making me loose the love I have for hom

    1. Hi. So I’m going to tell you my story. I met this guy, he is a lawyer, handsome, successful and a smart man, as soon as I met him, we started dating, 10 months later, we decided to get married, he was the perfect guy, everybody loved him, he promised me the moon, the stars and the sun. BAd MISTAKE, once we got married he showed me his real face, he was a compulsive lier, everything he said was a lie, he came from an abusive family, where his father hit his mom and she thought it was normal and that god was going to punish him for that. The first month my ex husband didn’t come home, he stayed out partying with his friends without even answering his phone and the only time he answered was to insult me, after that, things only got worse, he called me a bitch, a slut, he started saying things as **** off and if he was drunk it was worst, he started pushing me and graving me by my arms really hard, I always had my arms with bruises after a party, he was always controlling me and it got to a point that he thought I was Always cheating on him, he used to look at my text messages, fb, emails while I was sleeping, and then I got mad and wanted to leave him because I was not happy but he said that he loved me and that he was sorry and promised to change so I believed him and stayed with him. I knew I deserved better than that but I also thought that he loved me and that because he didn’t want to loose me he was going to change. Well, long story short, it only got worst, it got to a point where verbal abuse got physical and that day was the day that I decided to leave him, I never thought that he would actually hit me, even one time I asked him and he said that he would never do that. Well, now in my expirience, people like that will never change and you can’t be their saviors, if he is verbally abusing you, it will get physical at some point, as if been verbally abused isn’t bad enough.
      So, if You go to the internet and read forums of people going through the same, because you are ashamed of telling it to someone and you don’t want them to hate you, if you are doing this, it’s because you know you have to leave him and somehow you are trying to find a reason to stick to him. My advice RUN, run before you end up with a black eye and a broken lip. Believe me, people like that never change, they can promise you to go to psychologists, stop drinking, etc. It will only get better until they regain control, once they have it again, you’ll be suffering once more. How long did i stay? I stayed for 6 months! I’m glad I left when I was still strong and still believed in myself, he couldn’t break me, I didn’t stay for that to happen!

  34. I think we better off without them cause all they do the abuse us… We all don’t deserve bad things if they love us they have to respect, love, adore etc…

  35. I’m in the same situation.
    I am with this guy for 9 years, I have been stupid accepting this relationship.
    He is verbally abusing me for ages, before I wouldn’t understand because English isn’t my first language, then he would even humiliated me in my own language.
    Some minutes ago we fought, then he flipped… He called me bit.h many times, psycho, and kept insulting, I don’t insult him, I actually said that B or psycho is his mother or sister, then he came to me and said “you ugly old lady”. I’m 4 years older than him, when he really wants to hurt me, he refers to my age.
    I told him to leave my apartment, he tells me to leave and refuses to leave.

    I can’t live like that anymore, I have no more energy in my body to do so.
    He doesn’t care what he says.
    I was reading somewhere else that “they forget or simply say that didn’t mean it” how many times he said “I was angry at you that’s the reason I said so”
    I’m actually good looking woman, but I never feel so, everywhere people say that to me, he never say and as soon as we start fighting, he says how ugly I am.

    I just want to sleep and wake up in a better situation, I’m sure that this relationship is about to end.

    1. I am so sorry. *hugs*. I am going through the same thing and I’m just going to tell you right now, you are beautiful, strong and you sound kind. You don’t deserve this kind of treatment at all. I hope you can find the means and the courage to leave this man. He sounds very similar to my ex. Let me repeat. You don’t deserve this and never will. Sending love and happy thoughts your way. I hope you get out of this.

    2. I am in the same situation. I am 29 and have 4 kids with him. He calls me ugly, stupid, nobody will ever want me or ever take me serious, hoe, bitch, he talks about my mom and dad. This evening it was the same name calling and he spit in my face three times, I walked past him and he threw his juice all over me and kmocked my plate of food all over the floor. He called another girl he was in a relationship with prior to us getting back together a couple months ago. He did his in front of me to tell her how much he loves her and only uses me.

      I was so hurt by this. I asked him to leave for hours, finally he got in the car, I load my kids up and while driving on the highway grabs the steering wheel and tried making me lose control. I was so Hurt n couldn’t stop crying that he would risk my kids lives like that. He kept saying “iknow what I’m doing you were not going to crash” ..I stopped a few feet before a pole.

      I am so tired of this. He use to hit me years ago, he stopped, and now he’s back to his abusive ways and feel it will get worse. I want out. I fall so weak for him because when it’s good….It’s really good! sweet, sensitive, cooks for us, massages me, and always telling me how much he loves me…..But when it’s bad it’s really bad…. It’s constant name calling and mental abuse when he’s mad… I can ask a simple question and he gets irritated by me so easily and acts like this.

      I have been ignoring his calls but I don’t know how long I can keep up with the ignoring. I want to be happy and enjoy life again, Look in the mirror and feel pretty again, I want my confidence and sanity back. But I love him so much that it’s so hard to not give in. I don’t think I know how to move on.

    3. I am I the same situation I get called all the horrible degrading names you can think of I sleep with my boss at work all his freinds and family hate me then sometimes says sorry but 5 mins later it’s the same again been with him 15 years and it has always been the same never knew a kind and caring relationship get jealous of my freinds and there boyfriends I have never lived with him because I didint want my daughter growing up seeing that that is the only good thing I have done I lead 2 different lives when am with him all I do is cry and wonder what makes me stay in this vile horrible relationship I don’t even love the man he makes me sick but I keep going back I must be his doormat I need to get the confidence to go alone why did I end up we’re I am will I ever meet mr right or is it to late for me

      1. Zara, I feel the same way as you though I am 21 and I haven’t married on had kids to my partner – though that is what he wishes.
        He calls me an idiot, dumb bitch, says he hates my family and they are a waste of space and if we break up I will become a waste of space like them. He always calls me “morbid” as in morbidly obsess as a joke – it hurts because I used to struggle with anorexia – now I’m 58kg and healthy weight, I just have a few problem areas – but he always calls me fat. He says I make him so angry because I never do anything right and make everything look so much harder than it is. I don’t know why, like you’ve said, stay with them like we do when they treat us this way 🙁

        I always had a lot of attention from guys I don’t know if thats the reason for us, that they are inscure themselves and know we can do better and try to tread us down to stop us from leaving because we think they are the only ones who could ever love us – even though they don’t 🙁

  36. I’m a male and my fiance of 5years out of the blue will start calling me useless etc even going as far as to say I’m going to turn out to be a murderer? ??? This blew my socks off . I ask myself why is she with me? I run after her drop my work and commitments to be told off by her saying I didn’t have to do it.
    The insults carry on to the point where I break and slap her. This isn’t me nor is it who I want to become. I try to leave then she comes at me with im taking the easy way out. It’s not a easy way out to leave someone you love and want to grow old with in order to keep from losing the plot.
    Verbal abuse has and does hurt especially from your partner. Iv tried buying her nice things when she asks I go out of my way to get it. Only to get more insults and I didn’t say you must do it. Honestly a thank you is all I would like to hear.
    I feel like I’m becoming a monster for slapping her and just need to get out to prevent further abuse from me. Other problem is I leave and she will constantly text me with more insults and accusations. Then later wants to work things out.
    I’m tired I just can’t anymore I want a happy life without this drama. Tonight she will constantly go at me and in the morning cry because I refuse to take her to work. I don’t want to sit in the car for 2hrs while she carrys on insulting me. I just dont know anymore its draining

  37. I am in the same situation as you but i live in his house. I am afraid to live myself. I dont have a place to go. I am 63 and he is 57.we been together for 14 years. All these years he has been abusing be verbal. Help i dont know what to do.

  38. I have the same problem, I am a Filipino he is Nepalese. We both are in UAE. Its difficult to ask help. Here is very strict country. We may both go jail and I cannot afford that now, from my side I still have financial responsibilities back home in the Philippines. I cant leave UAE in this time. He is abusing me too much. I am very tired emotionally, psychologically and physically. My personal finances is also affected greatly because of him. I still have feelings for him, but I am too scared and traumatized from what I am experiencing from him that I am willing to forget about that love. But How? I am too scared of him now, I do not have close friends and relatives in this foreign country. And yes I am too ashamed to admit I am victim of Domestic abuse. I cannot tell anyone.

  39. All I can say to all you ladies is “take care of you” from pretty woman lol: I moved Friday m a good job clear across the country for my mom and family because she wanted t he close to everything be when I knew they would take advantage (long story but took all her $ after our father died and left her with zero after our father died). Family screwed me over maxing my credit cards) so I moved in with be a couple hours away. He is worse than my family and the m about to leave him because he calls me names and is disrespectful. My fam has screwed me but he doesn’t deserve a good woman who has been trying to make it work if he continues (I’ve oer him for 5 months).

  40. I am in a horrible position I’m also the man in this 13 year relationship. I have been cheated on by this woman a confirmed 2 times and I have many suspicions of other times. Regardless of the cheating she had always been extremely disrespectful but confronted she turns it around on me because I don’t stand for it at all I always tell the truth and she always turns it around. This time around I recently ended it thru n thru but the abuse does not stop she is so rude and wants to intentionally hurt me mentally and verbally over the fact that I proved that she is a cheater herself and the liar. She can not handle the fact that it had been hey this whole time and she does not stop disrespecting me in every way imaginable. I need help not from her but from myself I am afraid that I will snap she is unrelenting I do not acknowledge her or want anything to do with her but she continues to come at me hard. I have never hurt her ever and I just got us a new place so I’m stuck with no idea on what I should do. I feel like I am dieing a little with every insult. I am losing control I am in fear of her safety she is mentally unstable in many ways from emotional memory loss and heavy drug use if anyone can help please let me know because I have lost everyone in my life over this person. I’ll keep an eye on this site

  41. i dated someone last year who wrote me a 15-text essay when we broke up about how “horrible” I am. He went as far as to call me a demon! that stung a lot… until I read this article, I thought my reactions to his words were me just trying to “better” myself (needless to say, that essay he wrote me made me self-conscious and uncomfortable with myself in many deep ways.) Well, now I’m thinking EFF HIM! I’m now thinking that him having been abused throughout his childhood taught him to be abusive; and that any woman who gets with him will eventually get this treatment… I’m finally back to thinking it’s not me… it IS him! So yes, EFF HIM! Yes!!!

  42. I made a mistake and let this guy move in with me, after two months of knowing him. In the beginning it was great with me and my two sons. until 6 months later he start calling me whore the B word whenever we have an argument. He call my son’s lil a**holes. I tell him to get out of my house when? He keep on saying soon but still there. He acts like a kid too, he has some unusual obsession for video games, and he pay nothing in that house. I make poor choices 🙁

  43. I have a boyfriend I been dating for 6 in a half years. It all started fine but as the years fly the relationship flew through the window. Last night he pull up by his mom to pick me & my kids up. As soon as I got inside the car he call me names in front my kids. I never responded I just said why you acting like this I don’t want to argue with you. He still didn’t stop until we made it home. I get emotional;verbal&physical abuse. I don’t know how much I could take. I want out of this relationship

  44. Ive been woth my boyfriend for e years now. And my boyfriend is so horrible to mme. First it started out with some name calling but nothing big. Then when i told him all my secerts and were together for a year he started to use my past against me. I lost both my parents after a year being witg him. I had no place to go. He let me live with him. And he seemed so happy i was. For about 6 months he was totally into it. Then name calling came up agaon especially when i found out he was sending flirtatious msgs to girls. And then he said he would sell drugs for sex. I confronted him. And he denyed until i showed him the pictures i found. I tryed to forgive him but then he started calling me a whore, skank, ugly, fat, mcfatty just like every mean name you could think of. And maybe two hours later and would say sorry i was just mad. But says this over and over again. For 2 years he has been hurting me mentally. After the 2 year he started hurting me physcally. The first time he pushed my down a gravally ditch… Ill never forget that day. I dont know what to do. Sense its been so long being treated like this i just feel like i deserve it. I have no family or friends. All my friends left me because of him harrassing them… I feel alone…

  45. My boyfriend of over 3 years has been putting me down a lot here recently, or at least, I’ve just starting noticing it more here lately. It’s mostly when he gets mad. He calls me things like stupid c***, or a f***ing b****. Sometimes he tells me woth great detail about how much he hates my personality and attitude even though he knows I’ve been really depressed here lately and can’t help it all the time. He blames me for everything it seems like… I used to be able to put up with it, but now I just believe him… I never feel like I can do the right thing or ever be good enough and it sucks because I love him so much… He’s all I have right now… I don’t know what to do…

  46. I guess I’d just like an outsiders perspective on this. My boyfriend and I have been together over a year, he’s rough around the edges with everyone so I knew this already. A couple of things, we were setting up a tent for camping, I always have trouble with it, he yelled at me “YOU’VE DONE THIS BEFORE”, and I only did it once…and it just makes my heart pound and makes me so nervous that I’m shaking and only do worse to where he gets frustrated. He called me an ignorant bitch on another occasion for really no good reason. He said something like “use your brain for once,” for also no good reason. One of the worst was, his parents and I were all having lunch and they asked him if I was going on a family trip with them in 3 months, and he responded, “I don’t know, I could dump her tomorrow!” Even his mom said wow that’s nice. It was highly embarrassing. I asked him about it, he said no I don’t want to dump you tomorrow, but I could! Any time I bring up any of these things, he says I’m too sensitive. While I stay quiet most of the time I know he’s wrong. And sure I have my ditzy moments but I know I’m not an ignorant bitch, or any of the other crap he’s said. I don’t know if it’s worth staying with him but I just feel stuck and I don’t know why.

  47. i’m from south Africa, my boyfriend calls me things like slut, bitch, rubbish, accuses me of cheating and goes through my phone all the time. he does not allow me to take my friend’s phone calls, he answers my phone and insult my friends family or whoever is trying to reach me. he would say something mean and tell me that he was only joking later. He once answered my phone and insulted my son’s driver and he did not wanna transport my son anymore. He often tells me that i’m disrespecting him when i try to confront him. he say the meanest things and tell me to women up and stop crying. He tells me that there are many women out there and it would not take him even an hour to find one. when we go out im not supposed to greet anyone or stop and say hi to my friends, if i do there is gonna be a big fight. he tells me about his exes and how they never disrespected him like i do and how most of them still wants him back. He cheated before and i forgave him.he puts me down and tells me that i know nothing about life or makes a silly face when i try to comment on things like politics.he would threaten to throw me out during midnight and when i tell him i don’t like what he says/ do. he would say mean things and then want sex after that if i can’t sleep with him he would ask me if he should go and sleep with someone else instead. that man hurts me and tells me that he loves me immediately. after i lost my mom he was there, and if i tell him that i wanna do something he would say go for it, he only gets angry if i do something without his knowledge. h he supports me and its confusing because he is so mean and cold sometimes and he is all i have right now. i love him and i don’t wanna loose him. he promises to change but when he gets angry he starts again even if i’m not the one who made him angry

  48. Not sure how I put this into picture. So I was generally a happy person until a year ago. I am not sure what caused me into all this mood and depression if u call it. Basically my life has been so different from the past. I was really happy carefree and outgoing person. But lately I have changed to very moody and depress and scared. I keep asking myself something is not right with me. Also, I do have a girlfriend. Seems like I don’t. Its like a good and bad relationship. I am not sure what kept us going and me going. When its good its really good but when its bad totally disaster. Writing this is maybe the worst decision because I might get bash. So could not tell and sick of telling my friends because they have warned me multiple times. So my relationship with my girlfriend was a complicated one. She kept asking me to marry her but then she would yell and dumped me when shes angry with things or me. I feel like my whole life I owe her. My decision is mostly based on her. I feel like I was scared of her as she has anger problem. And I don’t like dealing with that. She would call me names. So I just recently graduated from university. She did a lot of things to deceive my mind and my mom called that she brainwashed me. Thinking it back I kind of agree with that. So I was looking for a job in England and she told me to go to America and that she said I should wait till I look for jobs in America when I Marry her. Then when I am not working she would call me stupid useless bitch. Which made me feel typically down and not good about myself. This energy has really drained me a lot. Feels like I should move on before it s too late. Life has just begun. And she would argue and fight with me and break up with me. So I stopped talking to her and thinking that’s it. And she would call back and beg. You know? I am not blaming anyone in this relationship or anyone. I feel like im responsible for myself. But I just feel like shes really killing me slowly and destroying my future and life. HOW? Let me say this. My friends all tell me im different because I used to be happy calm and not irritated. But recently I have been feeling so much anxiety wont lie she gave me anxiety. Shes 29 and im 24. Shes treats me like she treats her client. Just so u know shes a social worker and she yells at parents. She keeps saying im older than u I have more experience and I know what loves means. She told me I don’t know what love means. Most the time when she yells at me I would stay quiet. And she would say that I don’t talk like a human. And when I finally speak up when its too much she would f yell at me till I can no longer stand it. Also, I went to two counselor both of them say that shes abusing me. Which is true. I told her shes abused me emotionally before and we stopped arguing for a while. She kept telling how all the problem is me me me me me . And her friend was saying to her what about you ?? I just felt so confused every time for about a year. And now I feel like tho I made so much mistake I feel theres a light coming to get me. That ill be ok again. Things had gone so complicated that I no longer know whats the right thing to do. Also, she wanted to know where I am and what im doing all the time . And when im doing something or spending time with family or others she would break up with me or yell at me. And then she would say I don’t make time for her . When I changed all my time for her she would instead spend her time on video games and go out. And I would not say anything. Not sure why I could not end things?
    To add on, She would break things and also tells my mom don’t love me. And she would also yell at her mom like it was the end of the world.

  49. Ok I don’t know Ifor I’m doing tbos right or even if o can but Idk what to do. Ok my mom died almost four years ago and I cheated on my man he become lazy sleep all day etc (still no job) anyways well I was lonely and cheated well my boyfriend took me back this year and I have been trying to heal us well every day he is calling me names blames everything on me control me and he says he loves me but he don’t act like it. Am I being emotionally and verbally abused? And we fight all the time I’m always messing up he dobt belive in making mistakes he says my tryst aren’t anything. I cry every night I beg for his loverall but I feel hated by him and he leaves me once a week to teach me a lesson

  50. I’ve been with my bf for 7months and it’s been hell 95% of the time…..I get called stupid,idiot and hurtful more words plus my kid’s have been too,what should I do

  51. I never done this before I have this man who says all these men words but sometimes even he around his buddies they say hey look at me I am your girlfriend I laugh but inside I just like too cry so bad it hurts they say wow men she takes like a champ

  52. Ive been in a relationship for 11 years and I have 4 kids with him. Every day since I have been with him has been a rollercoaster. I’ve been called stupid, useless, retarded, b8888, whore,fat. Ive been told to shut ***** up that he’s tye the man of the house and I don’t have rights to speak up even though I try to defend myself I always end up crying and feeling hurt . I’ve been told that I’m lazy and don’t do s*** that he works hard and he’s an alcoholic and he’s very aggressive and mean. He’s always mad and comes home whatever time he wants saying he works late but it’s not true. He fights with me every single day in the morning and and in the night when he gets home from work. I always have to have dinner ready when he gets home from work or he will say what do I do all day and that I don’t do s***. And that I’m not good for nothing. I take care of my baby he is 1 year and 2 months. And I try and straighten up a little but it’s hard when you have a baby but he just doesn’t care he calls me crazy because I take an anti-depressant pill
    and he says I dress sloppy and he looks at other women and he even cheats on me but denies it. I just been through so much with him I hate him and every time I try to leave he’s begging me to stay that why am I doing this to him why would I take his kids away and he will make me feel bad that I would just stay and keep taking all his s***. Every day I cry and every day I say it will get better but it just never does. Anyone have any suggestions?

  53. I have been with my bf for 6 years. He is very manipulating and emotionslly,financially, and verbally abusive. He always calls me a fatass bitch,brings things up about my past family issues about how my dad is back in my life and how my son’s father used to beat me. He tells me that I’m such a fatass and he is disgusted and embarrassed to be with me. He constantly kicks me and my son out knowing we have no where to go. He gets very physical sometimes. I’m always scared. I never know what his mood is going to be like from one min to the next. I feel so stupid but I can’t leave he always makes me feel bad. I think I need help. Or counseling. Idk what to do. I’m scared.

  54. My boyfriend of two years has been calling me “actually” stupid and retarded constantly, among many other hateful names, for some time now. My attention and memory have seriously depleted and I can’t justify myself whatsoever. I’ve been seeing a side of him that makes me nervous and scared for myself and our relationship. He has told me multiple times that he wishes something would just smash me over the head a couple times to get through to me that I’m a retard and that I need to stop saying stupid sh*t. I don’t know what to do but I can’t handle his words. I ask him to tell me what I can do to improve myself and then he says I need to just live my life and be happy, to stop thinking about everything so hard all of the time and that I don’t need to be so overwhelmed with stress that I’m literally stuck staring at the ceiling, stuck in my head..
    Today we had a huge, awful fight. It started because last night, I said whatever to him going to the club with his lady friends from work and his best friend. Then, this afternoon, after cuddling and loving each other and sleeping in, he brought up clubbing and I said “I don’t really want you to go” and I was sad and stuck in my thoughts. He knows I don’t like him going because I hate all of the half-naked, ratchet women that go there to get everyone’s attention. Him and I went together for our first time with some of his friends on his birthday and I honestly hated it.. Too many people that don’t care where they’re walking and too provocative for people in a relationship. But he loved it. I don’t understand it.
    Anyways, I reminded him of how I’m not a fan of him putting himself in that situation, and right off the bat: “why didn’t you tell me that last night then, before you agreed, you idiot?”
    I don’t remember the in between because I have a terrible memory. My lack of remembrance is seriously ruining my life. I’m so dumb that I don’t even understand what I’m doing wrong and my life is passing by. Almost every day is “ruined” or all “wasted time” because apparently I always waste time and I’m useless and lazy. Worthless. (I work full time at a Petro Canada gas station and he just quit his job at Safeway. He’s not jumping up and down to find a job and we need to move into a different place. I don’t know how I’ll be able to hold us up.)
    The fight continued into him shoving me backwards about 6-8 times, telling me I’ve ruined us and everything else, then said he wishes he could *BLAM*BLAM* (full force throws whole arm at my head area and stops before it hits me, two times), and hits my arm/side with the laptop his dad bought for me. I told him I’m calling the cops, and he ran for my phone right away and didn’t give it back to me until he knew I had calmed down and wouldn’t get him in trouble. After I threatened to call the police, he told me no one has ever enraged him so much to make him want to kill them. He said I’m a waste and he doesn’t care if he had to kill me because he would just go to jail and keep living.
    All of this while having a tantrum. He was literally jumping up and down, vibrating, freaking out when I told him he’s out of my house and I’m packing his sh*t.
    I don’t have anyone to talk to because I detached from all of my old (bad) friends. I hang out with him and his friends whenever I’m home and they’re over, I consider his good friends my friends as well. But I can’t talk to them. I also can’t talk to my family because I don’t want them to hate my boyfriend and I don’t want them to worry about me or ask a bunch of questions.
    I haven’t told anyone about this before.. And it’s my whole life. How depressing.
    Home he’ll be, in probably an hour, from the club. And we’ll just continue living the way we are. I wish there were an end in sight. An end to something, anyways.

  55. I was with this girl for a short time. I soon saw it and stood up for myself. It is a sad thing that she does not understand why I started to refuse to offer help directly. When she was in good mood it was amazing. But soon directly the insulting started again. Retard, asshole, stupid, that i dont care for her, emotional abusing. Telling me if I like her to give 100 euro. I do understand she is really sick ,but aint golden ticket to have bad personality. Few days ago was my point reached when after 2 days of blaming me she asked me to help her, she didnt feel good. I told her if she was for real, that all these bad insults from her if she understood that i do not work that well. So in the end ifollowed my heart again, went by bike through snow for 14 km with stuff for her. She didnt open at all. I waited half hour,worried, rang doorbell several times, yelled from outside. After 30 min she opens window and tells me that she wont let me in. After that I got insulted again I do not care for her. It s painfull but I need to cut it. And a shame.

  56. Hi my name is Lynette im 21 years old I’ve been dating a giy who is 38 years old and we been together for almost 2 years everything was great at first everything wa fine until cheating wise started to happen i can say yes i have cheated on him as well cause i felt it wasn’t fare but that that all i stopped but he keep doing it i would go out with my friends or my family and he would have a very bad temper of where i go who i am with try to keep me lock up in a house it’s still going on and idk what to do anymore i feel vwry unhappy here i don’t wanna be with him but then i know what he’ll do if i ever leave please help

  57. Hi my name is Lynette im 21 years old I’ve been dating a giy who is 38 years old and we been together for almost 2 years everything was great at first everything wa fine until cheating wise started to happen i can say yes i have cheated on him as well cause i felt it wasn’t fare but that that all i stopped but he keep doing it i would go out with my friends or my family and he would have a very bad temper of where i go who i am with try to keep me lock up in a house it’s still going on and idk what to do anymore i feel vwry unhappy here i don’t wanna be with him but then i know what he’ll do if i ever leave please help he has beaten me alot times of where at the point i would of end up die

  58. I have been off and on with my boyfriend (now the father of my child) for four years. I got pregnant when we were messing around because he never wanted to be in a relationship but I was young and so in love I stayed even with all the name calling and silent treatments. He cheated many times even when I was pregnant. He made me walk home alone many times too. So many awful things I can’t even explain them all. I am moving soon but it is so hard to move on mentally when he doesn’t even love me or cares. It hurts so much to the point that I feel physically ill sometimes. I guess it just time that heals but I feel it will take many many years to get past the pain

  59. I’ve been in the same situation and it’s awful and terribly confusing. I’ve only been with this guy for a year, but we really hit it off in the beginning. He was similar to me and a very nice guy, but it was when we got together that he began to change. Our fights were terrible.He would spout out horrible names calling me c*nt, bitch, whore–for studying or having family plans or assuming things. So then, it became complicated (like an on-again, off-again) thing only because I was confused.
    I loved him and he claimed to love me, and he sometimes doesn’t even apologise but he does when I bring it up..and he sometimes beats himself up over it and it makes me doubt whether or not he’s actually feeling bad..and once I made him promise to not call me insults (and since I’m hot-headed I finally cracked and retaliated too but only once) he broke it. I felt like I was nothing, and he would treat me as such but act innocent and managed to make me feel as though I was the bad guy.

  60. I am emotionally and mentally drained and felt hopeless until I came across this site! I’ve been with my fiance for 4 years, the relationships been very up and down but I feel trapped and can’t get myself to leave he always manages to pull me back ( probably a part of his controlley over me) knowing I always go back. He’s always called me names bit it’s gotten worse to words like slut, saying my life’s a mess and I’m a mess and I’m a waste of space, always putting me down! I wish I had the courage to leave!!!

  61. First things first, I am not in a comfortable space right now. I feel unease to be sharing and writing this post. However, it’s about time I rid myself from this abuse. I have been in AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS GUY FOR 16 years off and on. This man has lived in the system as long as I known him. He was in foster care, and as time went on it turned into prison. He would put guilt trips on me by saying, I don’t have family you do. He would use me for money and when I didn’t give it to him, all hell breaks loose. He would try to changes me: my look, my way of thinking, and etc. Lately, he started calling me out of my name like stupid ass bitch! In front of others. He would go off in me and call me ugly names. I am tried of the abuse! I want to be free! None of my family members likes him they just deal with him because of me! I want out of this painful RELATIONSHIP!!!! I know you all can’t do much but read our comments but I ask, you all that knows the MOST HIGH GOD, YAHWEH, to pray for us (victims) during this time of separate from our abusers. Please pray that we replace that space with Real LOVE!!! Thank you for reading this post and Yahweh Bless!

  62. Everyone deserves to be respected and appreciated ..all of the time .Home, friends and lovers should be your santuary. I have been too many years,over 25, in a verbally abusive relationship with an on again off again alcolic. Of course there is also a lot of good in him and I suppose I always overlooked the worst becasue of that. He never controlled his screaming and words(incuidng name calling) in front of the kids. I see now i did them no favors by staying with him and I hope they don’t repeat the pattern with their own children.I am only here now because he cant take care of himself financially and now has health issus . I dont plan on staying forever. . Life is finite. Is this how you want to live with whatever time you have left? I have no desire now to meet someone else- If i do , i do.. but I like myself, i will be fine with loving friends and family around me. Being in a realtionship does not define you. I will be so much happier living alone.. I would like to say when he is sober he is fine but it’s not. The underlying personality issues are there-just not so out of control . I have learned that alocoholics are often self medicatiing for their own many issues. Putting down others are their MO- they have huge egos with inferiority complexes. Crazy right? but if you go to an AA meeting they are the first ones to admit it.. when i was overweight that was a great “go to”insult to me. I despise the c word but when he gets mad he will call me a c ,among other vile comments. Then the next day its a half apology..he didnt really say it,I misunderstood…he only said it becasue he knew I would get mad (since the agument was my fault anyway) he didnt mean it…. I have no sense of humor, you know how much i love you…on and on whatever…. It does not get better with time. The fights were every few weeks, now they are daily. You will never convinve your partner just how truly abusive he/she is.You won’t get the satisfaction you want. Deal with it. If you arent married get out asap.I see people on this blog who have investedd many years with their partner.. Trust me, let that go…you will blink your eye s andit will be 20 or 30 years later before you know it.. We have many many friends with good t marriages They respect each other and although they have their occassinally ups and downs they would never speak to each other in such a vile abusive way. they know he’s difficult but I hide a lot. It they had any idea how he treats me and what he sys to me I doubt they would ever look at him the same way .. Once youre married its more difficult..tough to leave friends and neighbors and home that youve built for your future,parent loans,financial issues….but i know I know without a doubt, what ever i have to do..the end result .Go with your own gut.you know what to do and what is best .

  63. Hi there my names is jade I’ve been with my partner for over 2 years. I have a 1 year old I’m currently 22 weeks pregnant I’m in love with this man who came into my life we have have been struggling in out relationship bad and good times. There’s this girl he knows she’s beautiful he use to like her he showed me photos of her once while I was pregnant with my first baby and he did it to make me jealous it hurt me and still hurts me to this very day its made me feel so insurecure about myself and he calls me fat ugly streck mark cow hurtful words and then says hes sorry and dosent mean it and says he loves me I guess I’m just lost and dont know what to do when you love someone so much it becomes a world were your trapped and can’t leave because you’ll get jealous about who he would end up with next. Anyone know how I feel?

  64. My bf calls me names all the time. When I give him a dirty look he resorts to calling me a jerk a bitch. if I don’t give him the answer he wants he gets super angry and calls me all sorts of names it hurts my feelings because later on he tells me to get over it n he didn’t mean it but yet he continues the same day or next.

  65. My bf tells me to get over it all the time. Even when he talks down to me a few hours later he comes around trying to kiss me saying sorry and if I’m not forgiving he goes on and says I hold on to grudges to long and I should get over it because he is. But he doesn’t understand that it’s not so easy to forgive your bf when he insults you or makes you feel bad about your self. It takes time and I would like to talk to him about how I feel n how he makes me feel. but he never wants to listen and when he does he says how I feel isn’t how I should feel and again I should get over it or else he turns it around on me. Im over my relationship now. I try to be optimistic about him changing but I don’t think he wants to change for us or our kids.

  66. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. On a daily basis he calls me a bi*** . Some days I wonder if he forgot what my actually name is. We had a baby together almost a year ago and now he likes to pick on my weight. Shortly after I had the baby he started calling me a fat a** b****. It’s progressively getting worse. He laughs at me because of the way I dress (I’m obviously unhappy with my body too.) He says why do you zip your jacket up all the way? Are you trying to hide your huge double chin? He says the way I eat is embarrassing to him and that he doesn’t want to be with a fat person. He says it’s all a joke and gets mad at me when I get upset that he calls me mean names.

    I just want to be good enough for somebody.

  67. the friend of my friend (that l meet 3 times) calls me using a nickname about my blonde hair , l believe he doesn’t know it bothers me but every time l see him l can’t tell him to stop(l dont know why l freeze) sometimes hes with other people and l miss the opportunity.that happens only when we swap on the road cause we dont know each other very well. What should l do ? Please

  68. I’ve been with my man for 2 years and things seem so twisted.I’ve falling in love with a man who I feel really don’t love me…especially when he tells you the only reason he said he loves you is because that’s what you want you to hear not because he means it and this is a man I sleep with almost every night …it hurts my soul and I don’t understand how you can be with someone for so long and still have no feelings….

  69. my boyfriend calls me slut and that im a disgusting person, that im a minipulative bitch, that im a compulsive liar, that im a whore, and ran threw, loose, stupid, bitch, annoying, you name it and only when he is mad me ive never cheated and i opened up to him, he says he loves me its been 4 years but i think the love is dead.

  70. My boyfriend’s that I have had in the past have been very abusive. I have been thrown out to be homeless on the streets over ten times,burned in the eye,face,and chin with a lighter,hit across the back of my head,hit in the forehead with a hammer,credit debit cards stolen,cash taken from my wallet,and teased because of my teeth and weight gain. I’m not upset just thankful to be alive and well. I have been insulated and humiliated in public and at home. I have been physically beaten so bad my spinal injury pain came back excruciating pain. I have decided to stop dating for now and become asexual. I don’t ever want to be abused again so I am currently taking a break from dating.

  71. Hi, I’ve been living with my boyfriend since August, so that’s 5 months now. Before this we dated for one year and we work at the same place, doing the same work. Before moving in together, it was difficult to find time to spend together, but we had a good time making it work. Now he is constantly joking, calling me a “bitch” or “beeoch.” In the past, I’ve told him that it’s never funny to call me these names and to never joke about it. He continued to do it, laughing and saying he’s joking, but then he stopped for a while, so I thought he got the point. I was wrong because last night, he “jokingly” did it again. I became upset and stayed on the couch watching a show for several hours. He never came out to apologize. He simply fell asleep. I later went back into the room and fell asleep also. I was upset and reeling, so it took a while. The next morning I felt incredibly depressed. I laid in bed for far too long. I normally make the coffee in the morning and and fix his mug, bring it to the bed for him. This morning, he got up extra early, fixed it all himself, drank a cup and went back to bed. Kind of bizarre. I got out of bed, finally around 10:30AM and said that I felt depressed. He said, in a very formal and autopilot manner that he felt sorry that I felt so bad and that he hoped I felt better. Never mentioned the night before, when I could tell that he was thinking about it. I feel stuck and a little hopeless cause I cannot afford an apartment on my own. I moved in here for love, but now that I know there is no real love here, I feel I’m just on survival mode…until the end of the lease in 7 months. The truth is that none of us are actually stuck. I think these significant others seemingly find a weakness in us and need to survive with it. We hold strength that they don’t have so they attach. If you are not living with the person, end it. Cut ties as easily as you can. You don’t owe him any reason to explain disconnecting from him/her. Just start getting distant. Don’t make plans to see him/her. Say you have a lot to do and become inconsistent until you’re in a safer headspace and more in control of the situation. As for me, I’m willing to ride out the next 7 months of this lease as long as I promise myself to earn more money to move into an apartment on my own. Or I’ll ask him to leave, eventually.

  72. We’ll, its cool there is a thread for people to vent. I’ve been reading everyone’s situations. I’m with my girlfriend who I love dearly and want to build a life with. But, sometimes she defies my manhood by saying I’m acting like a bitch when i started.getting.heated, or calling me names on other occasions. I am a really nice and tolerant person for the most part, and ho early quite sweet natured and passionate, as well. However, I can be pretty aggressive–or even overly, one might say, at times. She has told.me.to not take.it so seriously, although the first aggressor is usually her. So, Ive been attempting to become.less intense, and in a situation where if I’m told something disrespectfu, especially in the wrong day, something that defies.my great hidden ego of a man (or animal), I will flip out or just force my will into the moment by aggression. Its like women have also become more disrespectful to men sometimes. earlier today she said I was acting.g.like a bitch for no reason, when I was really just getting a bit heated over some Tv discussion. Then she saw I was getting provoked as i asked her why she was saying that and she said it again so I grabbed a textbook and slammed it breaking.it and proceeding to be aggressive nd talking crap in defense. I also threw Mt veer can and splashed it on the floor. This led to her telling me to get out and throwing my stuff. We then calmed a bit and she said that I overdo it and gst I’m crazy and violent. Though she sort of provoked me and kept defying.me it seems.like.
    Who is mainly to blame? What should I/we do? Any advice?

  73. Hi..
    Are all men like this? Im 20 years old and gave been in love with my boufriend since i was 13. Lost my virginity to him, lost my mind in loving him..few years past he moved away when we were kids. Reconnected and now im stuck. He calls me fat and always makes fun of how much my dad hates me ect. He knows my dad walked out on me when i was very young and makes me cry almost everytime im with him. I feel so worthless and like my meaning in life is just a dark nothing. He has phisicaly abused me in the past but has stoped. But now everytime i want to hangout with soneone he blackmails me saying things that. If i hang out woth that person hes going tp show all his friends my nudes. I only dod that bc he always watched porn and wanted him to love me.

    I went over to his apartment last night. When we were having sex i was sp uncomfprtable bevause he always wants me to say dirty things and it breaks my heart abit he neeeeds me to say it to him. EVERY time. So i said no and he slaped me so hard on my ass. Let a get out of jail free card. He hit me and i wasnt happy wasmt even enjoying sex and then he just finished like he didnt care. Because he didnt. I left angry storming pit of his apartment. The police were called We ended up spliting by orders from the police. But they knew me. Said to me ” i know he has a temper” .

    I feel suicidal and always scared of him. I love him but i cant think anymore. Im so stressed out.

  74. My husband and are best friend but our arguements are starting to affect who we are as a couple. He is not an abusive person at all but when we argue he can get so angry. He talks over me, raises his voice, and sometimes calls names. He has said that I am being a B….. Mrs sensitivity, a stubborn pain in the ass. Ext. I know that these names may seem petty but they hurt coming from the one you love so much. Is this ok? How do I help him to see that when he throws any insult it hurts?

  75. Hi im in a relationship with a lad whos 21 and im 26 weve been together for 20 months when i first met him i couldmt believe it he was everything i ever wanted in a bloke his looks personality and so on and for the first year everything was amazing but then things started happening he started getting angry more looking at me differently it made me paranoid he wanted to start going out with his mates more and i kept accusing him i know this is wrong and every argumemt we had got more and more worse he would start punching holes in doors smashing things up yea i would retaliate back by shouting at him then he started walking out telling me hes leaving me and im so scared of him leaving me i always beg him back and he ends up saying sorry but lately if he gets angry or we have an argument i shut up and dont say a word he says it winds him up more makes out like im making him feel guilty for me accusing him hes started shoving me now if i come near him hes done it in public once i tried to leave the house once and he never lets me says im gonna do something stupid and cant be trusted all i wanna do is go for a walk last time i tried it he grabbed me threw me to the floor and pushed my head down on the carpet so hard i had carpet burn down my nose and it was bruised for days and scabby he said he was sorry we have had an argument after that and he punched his way through my bedroom door pinned me to the floor and pushed my hands down on my rib cage so i couldnt move i just dont know what to do ! I dont have any family near or friends they live far away i dont go out unless its with him he tells me im beautigul all the time and that he loves me i love him im scared of being on my own i want him to get help hes angry all the time even when he cant gel his hair properly or he gets too hot because ive put the heating on i feel like everything i do is a problem and try my hardest to be better could anyone please give advice ?

  76. Ben with dude for 18 yrs meet wen i was 18 he 26. Its never ben a great relationship it started out wit physical abuse only 4 months in. I wanted 2spend more time at my family house but he forced me2 leave wit him. During a heated debate of me strongly expressing I really want 2stay n he can leave he suddenly puched me in the nose causing it 2bleed then gave me the shirt he was wear to clean the blood befor taking me back 2 my family house. After that I have been his victim of all kinds of abuse. Verbal, emotional, mentally, psychological, physically nearly every single day for 18 years of my life i have experience one or more of the above. My youngest daughter have started reported that he is doing mean things to her. I have winess him emotionally abusing her eatting habits and jumped in. Although the kids ben tested n proved 2B his kids just2 hurt me he says their not his kids. So i have given them my last name as a direct form of retaliation. A set of twins and 2 other daughters by the way. He is very controlling, mean abusive n i never meet any1 n my entire life as MEAN as he. He tells me he wish he would of stayed with the other woman, he say if i was her he will treat me better, he says to bad im not her, then will come try to KISS me this gets me mad the kiss. You know y would i kiss u after ur behavior. I have stopped kissing and having sex with him its ben 4months. Im planning an excape back to the south. Im tired of being a good women to a very MEAN man. He gotten drunk woke me up just to kick on me he once kicked me down the stars with my daughter in my arms. Once i was driving he physically attached me, i almost ran off the road. I have ran out of the house butt naked to find saftey from a drunk spell. He pulled a gun on me for control purposes later claiming it wasn’t loaded. He has damaged my property. He has borrowed 100s of dollars from me n never attempted to pay me back not once but wen i borrow money from him he will attack me physically if i refuse to pay him. He has beat me in front of my kids my daughter wanted to help me but she could only cry for me….im in tears right now i cant keep writing but thanks for being here.

  77. Hi I have a emotional abuse problem were my partner seems to do things on purposes I would except the things that happen to me if they went deliberately done to me like for example I tell my partner that I’m getting a bit jealous of a person and to rub it in my partner would go and spent the night with the person I am getting jealous of is that being insecure or do I have that right to be this way

  78. My wife insults me all the time. Things must be on her way, if not. I am “xxx”, “dfc”, “ssddcc” and of course, then, she does not stop until i say “sorry” Yes, at the end she ask me to say sorry. I love my daughter. I am scare for her. I want to protect her. I can ignore my wife. My mind goes to other places every time she behaves like that. I go to a nice place. I know she is not going to change. But i can help my baby.

  79. My ex used to call me fat ugly smelly slag whore all the names going he would tell me he just wanted to hurt me. He used to say to me that punching the wall right by my face or pushing the telly on my head or banging my head of the wall was ok because he never actually punched me apparently I could do worse. I’ve come to my senses now and finished with him for the sake of my kids. I’m happier the kids are happier.

  80. I have been with my boyfriend for about 2.5 years. We met in college in class and built up a 2 year friendship before being in a relationship together. We were good friends and started a wonderful relationship. We were doing good until a year ago when he started being verbally/emotionally abusive. We would never argue but now when we did, he would call me names and insult me. I told my elderly friend about it who then told me that the relationship seemed abusive and related it to her experience when she was married. I didn’t realize that until my talk with her. We have our good moments but he does not make sacrifices in the relationship and hurts me with his words. It’s so hard for me to walk away..

    1. I’m 20 years of age. I also met my now boyfriend in university . We were also friends before and have been together for almost 2 years. I just broke my virginity to him since age 20. When we had first started dating we were inseparable. Honey moon phase was longer than usual with him than I ever felt with another guy. Since summer things took turn for the worst. We constantly fight and for very petty reasons. One thing that affects me dearly is the names he calls me : pussy, idiot, fool. He thinks I overreact when I get angry after he insults me . The first time he called me a name I was shocked but I didn’t imagine it would happen so frequently after . I’m tired of it honestly because we weren’t like this. I’m disappointed in myself too with forgiving him and allowing him to repeat is behaviour. He is more concern with if I leave him than taking care of me . Always saying things like just tell me if you leaving, have you found someone but no matter how he asks and sees that he can lose me he does the same thing over and over again.Then he starts calling and texting if I ignore him and no matter how wrong he is he will still defend the disrespect he showed me.

  81. I’ve been in an abusive relationship for more than 3 years with the same horrible guy. Initially he would throw tantrums and accuse me of not saying and doing things exactly the way he wanted it to be done bt 6 months down the line he got a bit physical and started the name calling. His favourite names are f”’ing bitch and f”’ing whore and insult me in every demeaning way possible and complain about every possible thing that he could find that I’ve done wrong. He pulls up my past relationships and insults me over those then he brings up my age(I’m 9 years older to him) and he insults me saying I’m an old hagged whore and I’m stretched and having sex with me is like sticking it down a wide hole cos that’s what happens when u date a whore. I’ve told him a million times not to insult me any further and not to call me a whore. The fight before the last fight he called me all that and I told him if he ever calls me whore again I will walk out and never turn back. Our last fight he called me an old hagged whore. And I left. I’m completely done with him and thankfully I have no love or regard or want left for him. I’m earning well. I’m a director of a company and I’m above average attractive. I held on this long cos I loved him. By I don’t anymore so I’ve no reason to stay. I’m angry and feel down at times Bt I don’t miss him and don’t want him back. I hope all you wonderful women out there gather ur strength at some point and leave these worthless critters alone.

  82. i have been with my now fiance for 8 years. I’m 28 he is 33. we even have beautiful a twin boys. However if there’s any kind of argument it always ends up or heats up when he calls me names… stupid, idiot, ****, *****, you name it. He accuses me of cheating. Complains about this and that not getting done.our house is clean not spotless museum but clean. However its still not enough nothing I do is enough. We will argue for hours because I will not tolerate his name calling. Of course he doesn’t do it all the time and he can be a great dad… its just if I leave him I don’t have any options but he doesn’t make me happy not like I want. I just want someone who comes home and loves and respects me, appreciates what I do for them, says thank you and asks if I need anything or how my day was… or hell just watches the kids for a few hours so I could get a break… but above all that I want someone who will never look down on me but instead treat me as their equal… why can’t he be that… I want him to be that so much it hurts… I really don’t want anyone else I just want a better him… idk I guess im just stupid after all

  83. I began a relationship with a guy 8 months ago. We’re good together and argue rarely. He has told numerous lies, he abuses me verbally at points. He seemed to be a good influence…up until recently! What do I do?

  84. My boyfriend​ is two years younger than me I’m 24, i got it all going a good job a nice family. He hates all my friends, he has had a fight with my brother for insulting me btw. I stuck by him. And then last week he pushed me i cracked my head open he claimed it was an accident went as far as to hoping me wearing heels. He has slapped me before but claimed it was due to the alcohol. All my close friends hate him. He has stopped me from going out and doing things i would normally a do. He calls me at least once every 30mins mind you i work. I nearly got sacked for picking up his phone calls because i know if i don’t it will be a nightmare when i check my phone on my break. He calls me all names I’m too far deep i loved him at one point but I’m slowly realising I’m becoming an empty shell of what i used to be. I’m moving out in 2 weeks and he don’t know but I’m going without him.

  85. I am in a relationship of almost 5 years. I am convinced my boyfriend has anger issues but he refuses to get help. Every time he gets mad he yells, calls me horrible names.I am aware of the fact that this will never change, as it is a cycle of abuse he has been repeating for the past few years. He always apologizes, yet whenever their is a disagreement he just flips out and starts his name callings or talking to me like he doesnt care about me and even telling me straight up he doesnt care. To then come apologizing and saying he didnt mean any of that. It seems like he cant control what comes out of his mouth when he is ANGRY for things that really shouldnt get him that way. He has major communication issues as well…

    I am struggling so very much to leave this relationship. It is a lot easier said than done. In my mind, I know I will never be able to live a good life with him, being talked to that way whenever we cannot agree on something.I am starting to believe he has borderline disorder and has been undiagnosed his entire life. I cannot seem to find the strength to leave because he always comes back regretting and making me feel like he is going to try better. I know its a cycle though but it is so hard to just walk out of such a long term relationship. I need some advice??? 🙁 the fear of leaving and starting something new is taking over me 🙁

  86. I have been with my bf for 2 years. At first everything was so good then the cheating came to float and I forgave him. He has cheated multiple times and tells me is my fault. He calls me a bitch tells me I’m stupid and useless. His ex was way older than him and I am younger than him. He always make me feel bad ams I feel stuck. People know me as a happy person and strong minded and I don’t know what he did to me. I would never allow anybody to treat me this way I can’t asked him anything. Evans he gets mad calls me crazy and stupid. He gets mad and tells me I am depressing him and that all I do is stress him. He gets caught cheating and lying and he gets angry with me and always tries to flip it on me. I don’t want to be with him anymore. I hate him already and things are just getting worst. When I try to leave him he acts crazy and begs and tells me I have somebody else and makes me so upset and flips on me. I dont know how to get out of this mess.

  87. Hi,

    My boyfriend of over a year now has recently called me mean names. Iv’e been called the C word, ungrateful and just other rude comments. I know he has his opinions but every situation or conversation I bring up he has to argue and be mean. Also, he is never wrong in his mind. He never is sorry. I aways have to agree and apologize and move on. Recently, he has insulted me and my family and I just can’t take it anymore. In our past disagreements I would threaten to break up and he just says “Okay”. He acts like he doesn’t care. I just don’t feel loved or respected by him. I do love him and I just don’t think I can take the name calling anymore.

  88. I’ve been in a relationship for almost 5 years now and its good at times but when its bad its bad. In the beginning of our relationship he was a sweet heart he took me on dates, and stuff like that. After like a month or so he started ignoring me, going days without talking to me, going out with his friends all day and night, never making time for me. After a couple months i got tired of it and broke up with him. We were broken up for about 2 months or so and we got back together but this time it got worse he started using me for money, always hanging up on me, leaving me on read, him hanging out with girls, and just a lot of stuff. I broke up with him once again and this time he got locked up and went to prison.My mom found out i was with him while he was in prison and she kicked me out, i moved in with his parents. I put money on his commisary, wrote him everyday, answered all his phone calls,went to every court, all while in college and a full time job. I did this for 8 months. Get this he never asked me out.Until he was released from prison.He never told me he loved me either until he got locked up. When he got out first day out we went out to eat then he left with his friends all night. He did this everyday for a couple months, i was always alone, i never really saw him if i did it was just for a second until he left again. He partied day and night. I got so tired of crying every night that i left, i had no where to go and my best friend took me in. After moving out he was there for me more he always wanted to hang out. He would take me out. Then i fell for him again and i moved in once again. I found out a lot of things from him writing another girl when he was in jail to him talking to a girl just 2 days after my birthday while we were in bed. He calmed down a little after we lost our first child(miscarriage). He stopped going out as much but now he’s started again. He has no job, he did when i first met him. All he does is smoke weed all day. I provide everything, i pay all the bills. When we argue he calls me a b****h, a ****, a h**, a fat b****. Of course he hurts my feelings, and when i do cry he tells me to shut up.He doesn’t ask me how my day was or anything. When i’m telling him a story he ignores me to the point where i just shut up and change my mind onto something else. Writing this made me realize how s***** my relationship is, and i honestly have no one to talk to about this. I lost my parents and friends just to be with this man. I’ve become so depressed and insecure since i met him.

  89. My boyfriend calls me fat,dark and ugly….moreove he also insults me cause i am not very well in studies like him..he always makes me feel low…what to do..?

  90. My father jokingly calls me a loser constantly.. He thinks Its funny and I’ve told him it hurts at times, yet he continues to say it.. If I call you a bitch most every time I see you every single day, tell me where the humor..

  91. I haven’t been happy in years it’s at the where I feel like dying the last 6 years of my life has been hell he never says or does anything nice for me we don’t go anywhere or do anything I don’t have any friends or family bc he finds something wrong with them or he comes on to them I live behind his mother everyday he louds talks me calls me names he don’t want me get out house when I left my house to be with him he has several sex chat lines accounts & on fb he messages or women comment & not care how I feel he talks about me like a dog to other women he respects nothing I say or ask him he flys off the hook in front of people calling me out me name he does nothing for me no bday no Christmas no valentines nothing I feel like I’m nothing my life sucks and it’s never been good death has to be better than this

  92. I been having problems with my boyfriend …… I feel not enough useless worthless? And hopeless much more to say about myself I’m not enough I wonder why am I even here still everyday of my life.
    He calls me names when he’s mad like stupid, dumb , bitch , retarted, and more …
    I get upset tell him to stop but early in the moring he acts like he don’t remmeber saying these things.. or says I’m sorry I was just tired and when you don’t let me sleep I get mad. Let’s just say here he’s making excuses for himself& I also see him less caring about me he says he loves me and if he really did why would he say these hurtful things about me? He is just so mean I am so depressed …
    He argues with me if I tell him stop looking at other girls body’s and he says he’s not but when clearly I see him look for a couple secs .
    Give me advise I need advise 🙁

  93. I married a man 9 years younger than me. He has been with me thru a pregnancy that was not his child took on my kids and everything.. but when we get into fights he calls me names Luke fata** makes fun of my belly for have strechmarks tells me I’m ugly that I need to look in a mirror see what he sees I’m saggy etc. I know I’m not fat I’m a size 3, but yes I need to tone my body I had an emergency c section 3, months ago I should of been running by now we’ve been moving I had to recovery and so much going on I haven’t had time .I’m by far ugly but he sure makes me feel like I could be. Hes 25 I’m 34 If he’s angry he Will call my old used up and says he will get someone young since I won’t shut up..He always says sorry but there’s times I just can’t. Stop being mad and hurt I feel like since he can’t stop saying it maybe he really feels that way .. now I won’t get naked in front of him I feel like he don’t like my body I feel nasty at times I’m so hurt it’s effecting us dearly what do i do..

  94. My husband and I have been married for three years, but together for 13. We have two children, two dogs, a home, etc. Our relationship has always been rocky at best, but when it’s good, it’s really good. But when it’s bad, it’s terrible. For about the past two and a half years or so, we have grown terribly apart-or at least that’s how I feel. He will not let me go out with friends-not even to lunch or he’ll say “Go ahead and go,” but will barrade me when I get back. When he drinks and gets mad or upset he calls me terribly awful names. Dirty names. Names that make you feel like a knife has been stuck in your gut. He has accused me of having an inappropriate relationship with my sister’s husband and has literally lost his mind when he sees us texting about nothing! I have no friends outside of work friends. I do not do anything without him and yet I still get accused of cheating on him all the time and called these awful names. He has kicked me, hit me, pulled my hair, etc. Look, I KNOW I’m in an abusive relationship-I’ve even called him out on it and told him I couldn’t deal with the abuse anymore. He laughs at me and tells me I’m the abusive one or that I deserve everything I get. Where do you even start when there are children and bills and a house involved? I often just think “I can stick it out until the kids are out of high school.” I’m really starting to wonder if I can stick it out though. It’s eating me up inside and draining the life out of me.

  95. Hi, I`ve been in a relation with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. Our relationship started so fast, its only 3 weeks then we separate because we are both working in cruise. Then every thing happen so fast, I accepted him as easy as that because during that time, I admitted that I want to find a man that I will marry. Yah, I know, i`m so stupid, then when I already working in the cruise I fell in love with other guy. Then problem came, when we both go home I know to my self that I don`t love him, the boy I met before I go to the cruise but still he was saying and pushing to tell that he love me. I accepted him for reasons, and guilt but when we started the relationship again after three months when we came home and reconcile, he started those silly things, abusive behavior and insult that cause me too much pain. I know to my self that i`m the one who made fault, but my reason is, I`m not the one who want to get in back in the relationship, he, but he treated me like that. Every time that I wanted to work out the relationship and make an effort or cling with him, he always get mad, irritated, too much hurtful words and many more. Deep inside I was really hurt and only cry with my self. As time goes by, three month after we get back in the relationship, he left again and go to japan then it became worst . Then he started to treated me much more worst that I know no one deserved. It`s seems that he just want me to feel what he feel before but at the end he will tell that he love me bla bla but I never felt it, instead I felt that I`m so small, bitch girl and stupid. Every time until now, as I remember all the things he said, I can stop my self feeling down and ashamed. But I`m not over him, I don`t know why, even he treated me like that, I`m just praying to let my feelings out so I can start a new life.

  96. I’m 12 and have a boyfriend who constantly talks about this girl he used to like and I’m a very insecure person at school this girl always laughs and Talks about me mugging me across the room making me uncomfortable I talked to my bf about it and he told me im overeating and need to. Chill I stopped our conversation right there I had called to tell him to make her stop but he wouldn’t listen

  97. I do this all of the time btw. I didnt use to but the women I have done this with stick around.

    Clearly something must be working.

  98. Hi all I’ve been in relationship with my partner for 7 years now we have 3 children together he’s also 9 years older than me, i constantly feel controlled to the point where if I want to go to my friends I don’t bother asking him because I know it will cause an argument he’s feels my place is at home cooking tidying and looking after the children I have no social life what so ever! When we have an argument he always calls me stupid and dumb and how’s there plenty women in world to bend over and he can give his seed to! I’ve been called fat and plain, we’ve had a huge argument tonight which resulted in me getting so frustrated I dug my nails into my forehead! I don’t know what to do anymore I’m so scared to be alone but I can’t carry on like this!!!!!! 🙁

  99. I’ve been in an on and off, emotional rollercoaster relationship with a guy nine years my junior. I had two kids and he had one child living in the US (well so he says). In 2016 he cheated on me and impregnated a woman within a month of meeting her (also 9 years older than him & with 2 kids) bcoz I wouldn’t succumb to pressure from him to fall pregnant. Our relationship was taking much strain bcoz of this and the insults started. He has called me every name u can think of – old, stupid, useless, barren, desperate, sagging breasts, whore, loose….you name it. He’s unapologetic about impregnating another woman and often brags to me that she’s a smart medical doctor with a PHD but was still willing to give him a baby just a month into the relationship…..who do I think I am?? He’s even gone to the extent of insulting my kids and my family. For some reason I started feeling guilty, as though I was being unfair and selfish to not give him a child,hence I deserve the punishment. I just wanted to do things right and not have a third baby out of wedlock. But he didn’t see it that way and kept putting pressure bcoz “I’m too old and time is not on my side to have another baby.” I know this relationship is not good for me bad just feel stuck bcoz I feel like I’m not good enuff and no one will ever love me.

  100. My boyfriend who I have been with for 6years when we fall out he keeps calling me fat I feel so down about it I feel ugly in my self and the way my body looks he’s made me loose my confidence I never see my friends . He makes me feel like no one else would ever want me cause I’m nothing I had a baby 2 years ago and ever since when we have fallen out all he does is call me fat . I feel I have no way out I live with him in the house his father owns but feel like I want to go but scared where I will have to go I’m so down

  101. Long story short recently I have been with this guy for about 9 months .First things were great and I fell hard for him. As time went on he started getting more comfortable and the disgusting name calling started and physical abuse my family and friends can’t stand him and have given me advice and I kept forgiving him thinking maybe he will realize what he has and treat me right. I know I deserve better and hold too much respect for myself to allow such treatment. I graduated and have been to college and am wanting to go further. I am also a single parent with two children whose father is not in their lives. I work hard and am very responsible!! I’m tired of it and he says I don’t know how to stand by a man and if I really love him I will work through anything and I beg to differ. I don’t think he will ever stop and it will get worse. My gut is telling me to walk away and never look back!!! I love to hear advice from others and I know someone can accept all the advice In the world and still be so gullable to allow that same treatment. However, I know what I have to do, I will not fall for it again and neither should any of you!!!!!!!

  102. I have a question if your boyfriend is bipolar and he calls you names when he angry should i leave him or stay with him the main reason i with him to help him with his bipolar. i dont know what to do because im in love with him.

  103. Well I have been married for 5 years. My husband when he is a angry calls me the worse names. Like b**tch worthless,weak,hoe in a rage then he calms down and wants to call me baby . I have told him not to call me those name. Then he will say every couple argue. I try to explain him this isn’t arguing his behavior is abusive I’m certain he knows this. He has become so verbally and emotionally abusive that at one put I was thinking I was the problem. I spoke to his sister briefly about his behavior ,she told me he is treating you just like our dad treated our mom. Most of the time people who are abusers learned this behavior because most of the time it is taught. Then he say things like you are my wife you are not going anywhere because his mom stayed so she pretty much taught him that this behavior was acceptable but I wasn’t raised this way never saw abuse in my household .I tell him I’m not your mother and you are not your father. I just can’t take this abuse anymore I am on the verge of walking out on this marriage and never look back. It is like he is two different people rolled into one. It’s so bad I’m seeking counseling myself because he refused to go.

  104. I have been with tbis guy for 4years,he start behave diferrent the first year we meet but i ignore it,he cheat on me 2014 and i notice that but when i ask him he denied,he have been calling me names everytime he got angry,he stay in diferrent country but atleast I never cheat on him,he introduce me to his friend and his friend send me the picture of his private party nut when i told him then he believe his friend who he meet only for one month,he cheat on me again after he saw me online on website of dating while I saw him on dating website for almost one year ago and i couldn’t react like him,so he blame me for his two teaching and while he was cheating the second qith a prositute got STD from her but now i become a prositute and the prositute become a good woman as she was honest to tell him that she is a prostitute,tbis man is not normal as one time he posses like he is someone else,I just ignore him now and i told him its ovet but after tell him that he ask me to pay him the money of the car car he bought it for me when we was together,the car he bought with my name other wise he will take me to police because tbis love was just a scam love ,he send me a lot of message and telling me that his friend doesn’t like black people and he hate me so as a police he will make sure his taking me to prison,he starting to call other black people as a monkey so i am a monkey too because i am black ,only because i refuse to continue to be with his and refuse his marriage purpose.

  105. I’m 20 years old and I just come out a relationship with a guy who I realised emotionally abused me. He seemed so perfect and wonderful but everytime we argued he called me names and told me I was dumb, he has even called me the c word a few times. He controlled what I wore and hated me wearing make up as he didn’t want me to look nice and he would call me a slut or a tart for wearing makeup, I am virgin, I couldn’t physically give myself to him. I couldn’t have nice profile pictures and I wasn’t allowed to show my legs in public or wear leggings and jeans otherwise he would tell me off, I am a massive reader and he didn’t want me reading romance books. He told me that he was loyal and no other man is loyal at this age and that he would give me everything and that he loved me so much, he used to buy me really expensive gifts for christmas and my birthday, though for my 19th I didn’t even receieve a card from him. He kept comparing me to other girls, I found out he was flirting with other women and that these girls would send him naked pictures, we were together for 2 and a half years, everytime we argued he would block me for two weeks or threaten to break up with me. I ended up liking another man because I was emotionally damaged from this guy and as soon as he found out, my ex became the victim and told me that I was a horrible human being and that karma would hit me, I feel guilty because I liked someone else towards the end when I was still with my ex and I lied to my ex when he asked me if I liked someone else. Nothing happened between me and this guy but my ex got people to turn against me, i’m still trying my hardest now to recover but it’s honestly hit me so bad, emotionally I am drained and I just don’t feel myself anymore 🙁

  106. My BF says the meanest things to me saying no wonder nobody wants you! If I leave you you will have nothing… I start crying and so does he saying you did this.. not me.. I love you so much baby. Please I don’t want to fight with you.. but I’m so upset and tell him if you really left me even say those things .. then he goes back to saying it’s up to you if you want me to leave. I’ll pack my **** and you’ll have nothing. He’s told me I’m the girl of his dreams and says I’m all his! He makes me feel like no one cares about me only him.. but when our relationship is going good it’s amazing! He cooks dinner plans the house get my car out in the morning ,makes me coffee. I just don’t get it??? Please help!

  107. I been in a relationship for 11 1/2 years and I do admit I had put on a few lbs due to having my 2 children back to back. He always compliments me and always wants to make love and he slaps my butt and stuff like that, but I notice when he gets super upset about something he’ll call me fat ass or lazy and that hurts because my whole life I had to deal with fat shaming by my father. then it results in me targeting his most insecure parts and I am just tired of it. I really am. it doesn’t help either that I have to stay home from work to care for our son who is has ASD. It is truly hard and he acts like he does so much, yes he works and yes he drives us where we need to be cause I admit I do not drive, but I am with these kids 24/7, I have to clean often, god forbid if I take a break for one day, i am called lazy. I am so sick of it. I had thought about leaving several times already, but I do love him and he is a great guy over all, but I no longer can deal with this stress. I am already going through so much. I am even int therapy cause I have bad Panic disorder, he makes it worst and when ever he sees I am doing better or feeling happy again, it seems he always tries to find a way to bring me right back down into a hole.

  108. My boyfriend for 5 years has been verbally, emotionally & a lot of the times physically abusive with me. It’s been on & off for 5 years. Last night, I was @ home crying, all night because he hit me so badly that my whole body was in pain. He called me & sat on the phone & listened to me cry for almost 2 hours. Instead of being supportive, or saying sorry, or showing remorse, he sat there & called me a bitch, told me I was being a drama queen. He tried to say that he never hit me & that I’m sore cause we had sex, but sex doesn’t give you bruises. He lies & denies that he punches me, or hits me. & if I say that he’s lying, or point out that it actually did happen, he calls me a whore & other horrible names. He doesn’t love me. But when I tell him that I’m not happy, & that I’m sure he doesn’t love me, he sits there & tells me that I am happy & that he does love me. He denies everything. I’ve been trying to leave for 5 years & I honestly feel so stupid, because I can leave. It shouldn’t be this hard. But something in my heart makes me want to go back to him. He’s my first & only boyfriend. I’ve never dated anyone but him. He calls me a whore & accuses me of **** the entire world. He’s always making horrible, disrespectful jokes about me to his friends. So much so, that his friends tell him not to disrespect me. I don’t know what’s holding me back, but I want out. I just need some support right now. I really just need some support. I need someone to tell me that I’ll be okay, & that I can leave him. & that I will find someone else in the future. I don’t have to go back to him, but whenever I’m upset or I need to talk to someone, I go back to him because I have no one else.

  109. Hi my name is sam, i don’t know who to tell but im really hurt. My fiancé insults me and calling me names. If someone who i dont love I wouldn’t care calling me names or insults me. Im a good guy.. i never calling her names but i did accidentally insults her cause she insults me and my family and calling me names. It’s been quiet often she insults me and calling me names. She call me stupid,pig, dog, lier, dick amd so on.. im so hurt but in the same time i pity her. I love her so much and what i do is nothing. I don’t have any heart to insults her or calling her names. I don’t know if she love me or not. I dont know if she still want me or not. And she always told me to find someone else to be with. I don’t know what to do.. im emotionally sad and scared.

  110. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years, it will be 6 years in January. He has been calling me names for as long as I can remember but it’s getting really bad now. His favorites are bi*** and h**. I don’t give him a reason to call me names. The name calling has been too much lately and I do not know what to do. I feel stuck in this relationship and I have no idea why. I love him, at least I think I do or maybe I am just very use to him now? I’ve tried to leave but I always end up staying. Besides the name calling he is very controlling. He doesn’t like me going anywhere, not even the grocery store! He dislikes if I look nice when I get ready, instead of telling me I look beautiful or nice he tells me “why are you wearing that?” I can’t have friends, I can’t socialize. The name calling has made me lose my confidence and my self esteem sucks. When I purchased my first new vehicle two years ago, he was angry because I bought a sports car and called me a bi*** and a h**. Instead of congratulating me. When I tried to go back to school he got angry at me as well and called me names. The name calling happens just about everyday. The only time he is nice is when he is trying to have sex. If I don’t had sex with him he also gets very angry with me. Nobody knows about how emotionally abusive he has been with me. I do not talk about it to anybody so that is why I am posting this here on this site. To vent. I just want to leave so bad but I feel like I can’t, like I don’t have the stength to.

  111. My ex used to ask me to do things that no one should be asked to do. He also made fun of me when My face broke out said i had pimpleitis and i needed to do to the f*cking doctor i look horrible. And his favorite word was c**t and s*ut. He left his girlfriend for me then called me a Home wrecker. He threatened to hit me i got away just in time because i knew he would i met his ex and she told me he hit ver. He made My self esteem non existent

  112. HELLLLPPPPP PLEASEEEEE!!!!!! So when I got with my boyfriend I was 16 and in a bad place and at first he was VERRRYYYY sweet and we hit it off instanty thats what drew me to love him. (Also I lost my virginity to this guy he’s the only guy I slept with) But about 5-6 months in he started getting angry and mad and lash out on people not me but about 7months in he started to do it to me and I used to get verbally abused my my parents so I thought it was normal and every man does it since my father did it to my mother.. so I always stayed quiet and said sorry even if it wasn’t my fault it just got WORSE and WORSE!!! he would only say mean things when he gets man he would say that he never loved me, that he doesn’t want to show me affection, that im stupid and dumb ect… so when we hit our 2 year mark I broke it off it was putting me through hell and I told him why I broke it off because he was being rude and I couldn’t handle it. So we stayed broken up for 2 months and while those 2 months it was hell he was still so rude and tell me to have sex with other men RIGHT in front of the guys he was trying to pimp me out to i felt like I was a hooker.. but then he started to be sweet and I thought he changed so I went back to him and he did for a while it’s not as frequent but it does happen (i wish I wouldn’t have gone back) and so a year later I moved in with him and we got engaged. He would be so rude now when he gets mad he would say “man I want to punch u in your face right now” or he would scream in my face and say “you dumb ****************” ect… It litterly broke me I’m not the person I used to be anymore he would call me immature and ect.. I feel trapped I feel like I can’t leave he told me he would kill himself if I leave him. He says that he would never get married again. I feel drained every time im in this house I go out with the girls and I feel so much better like I can breathe. He gives me anxiety and he says I fake it for attention when I’m there shaking and screaming and crying because I can’t breathe.. I feel like I’m in a glass box and I see everyone breathing and happy and I can’t and this box is just getting smaller and smaller and I try to break it but I can’t so I sit there and let it kill me.

  113. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 7 yrs now. Funny thing is there’s about 7 girls he’s cheated on me with (and that’s not including the ones I KNOW about) No matter what happens it’s always my fault. I wasn’t doing something right or doing MORE like he’d asked me to. When we get in arguments it’d always be my fault. Never takes responsibility. Calls me EVERY name you can think of. And not just idiot, moron, stupid..ect. Not to include the ones that I can’t even type on here. I look @ his phone and there’s numerous sexual conversations with so many different girls and even then when I confront him, his response is “well I want that from you and you don’t give it to me that often..” I’ve never once stepped out on him. Never flirt with anyone nothing. In the whole 7 yrs, never done him wrong. I tell myself it’s something maybe I deserve. Somehow in my past life or even in this lifetime I did something to deserve this because at the end of the day..I love him and I do deeply believe he loves me. As a child he was beat everyday so I blame it on the anger that’s been dwelling in him since then. Almost like now I’m the one who gets beat (figuratively speaking) and if he could take it physically then, I could emotionally take it now for him. Worst part of it all is I feel like I’m then one who needs to work on me to get better for him. I need to fulfill what he needs. I’m not one to ask for chocolates, roses, dates every day..sometimes I just need the “I love you” I don’t hear unless I say it first. I don’t speak to anyone about it. I keep it to myself. I don’t anyone to pass judgment on him because I know he is a good person. Unless I’ve P***d him off. My friends couldn’t tell you I’m upset or hurt because they themselves don’t know. I just bottle it all up. Cry myself to sleep and then wake up hoping for a better day.

  114. i have broken up with my ex now for the like 100th time. he always says hel change isnt that typical? we where together for a while back when i was 17 and he went to jail just after we had recently broken up AGAIN. I Sort of made a new life for myself when he was in jaik for about 2 years i felt on top of the world. it was perfect. then i made the mistake of contacting him before he was due to come out and all the sorrys came flooding in. i was actually with someone else at the time but it wasnt really going great. that’s no excuse to make contact with an ex boyfriend and its one of my biggest regretd yet. now almost 24 years of age i find myself questioning my place on earth. made to feel so small and weak from name calling and bringing up my past. i dont blame that he has trust issues being that he went to jail and i moved on not completely obviously but the fact that i can do it scares him therefore he tells me i must take pictures and videos to prove where i am. not that i do it but even the fact that he asks me to do it makes my blood boil. am i to blame for how he is with me? he calls me horrendous names, when i go to his house to sort our arguments out i am not aloud to leave his room till we sort things out and sometimes i just need to get away from all the insults but i get made to sit there and listen. its really mind twisting. im out of it but all the sorrys are coming in now and theres no doubt he will turn up at my workplace tomorrow. great.

  115. I have been with my partner for 9 years. For 8 of those years I have put up with being called the worst names possible. We have 2 children that he is fantastic. But if he gets angry it doesn’t matter if the kids are there or not, he’ll yell and scream. I did leave him recently and we were trying to see if we could work things out. He’d even pretty much moved into my new house with us. This morning he went crazy because he was running late for work. 2 days ago he’d asked me to set my alarm for him, which I did. Yesterday it went off because I just changed an alarm I was using before and it wa set for that ay too. It wasn’t set for today. I told him I didn’t realise I had to set it every day for him. For 20+ min he walked around the house swearing and calling me names. I told him to be quite because he’d wake the kids. He didn’t stop. Ths isn’t the first time this has happened. After that I couldn’t take it anymore so I got up to defend myself. He pushed me so I pushed him back (I surprised myself actually) then he shoved me so hard I went 3 – 4 metres backwards before I fell over. He was apologising before I hit the ground. I got up and told him to leave. He’ll be back this afternoon. Any advice on how to deal with him now? I don’t want to be in this relationship but he needs help and has no one else, no one to help him. I’m a bit of a bleeding heart really and it makes me feel terrible knowing there will be no one there for him at his lowest moment. Of course I love him but I’m also not blind. I’m doing this for the kids.

  116. Oh,boy. I’m not a teen, I am a 29 year old, married, mother of 3 (4, including stepson). My husband is a 46 year old Ivy League Grad who owns his own business and has had a “silver spooner” type of life. I, however, grew up poor, parents deceased, and a recovering addict who went through legal problems and a nasty divorce the first time around. I lied to my husband in the beginning of our relationship and I hate that I did, but we got through it and are now married with kids. My husband, however, has yet to get over the issue of me lying in the beginning. He brings it up every single time we get in a nasty argument. He says (in our arguments) that I am a manipulator and liar and I can’t own up to when I do something wrong. Of course, at the time of the argument, I don’t think I am doing anything wrong, which is why we are in an argument. After thinking about it, I really try to be honest with myself and if I feel I was wrong, I tell him and apologize. However, he has an issue with thinking I am just a liar and manipulator since I did that to him in the past. He sees all my flaws and not his own. I have friends of mine in town and staying at our home and he got angry yesterday about the fact that the house wasn’t “clutter free”. Of course it’s not, I have a friend in town with her two children, not to mention our kids. I’m trying to show them a good time, as I do for his guests when they are here. Also, my son busted his lip while I was out with him yesterday and didn’t immediately tell my husband about it when we got home. I understand that I was wrong by not telling him and making him worry, but when I bring something up about our kids and a concern I have (e.g a bad diaper rash or diarrhea) he gets annoyed at me and tells me I need to quit telling him things that aren’t serious. I honestly can’t tell the difference of what I should and shouldn’t tell him anymore, so I hold it in.
    Anyway, we got in a HUGE argument about that (in front of my guests, who had to excuse themselves and take my kids to the other part of the house) He yelled like I’d never heard him yell before. He called me a POS, B****, liar, manipulator, told me he was smarter than I was and I needed to just take his advice for the house stuff and not get defensive (even though when he “gives me house cleaning advice” he says it in a really annoying tone). I thought he and I were on the same page in terms of when guests are here, we accept the house the way it is and try our best to keep it clean. The house was clean! It’s always clean, he just has issues with clutter and there was a laundry basket with folded clothes in the middle of the floor that he got angry about and tried to give me advice on. I don’t need his advice on how to put the freaking clothes away!
    So, when he gets angry with me and we get in a big argument, he stays mad for days. Stomps around the house, makes it a point to sleep on the couch (or our guest room when there are no guests here). He says he doesn’t do all this to prove a point or torture my feelings, just because he needs time to cool off. I feel like this is really unhealthy. He shouldn’t bring up my past and how much of a mess I was every time we argue. He shouldn’t call me names when we argue. He shouldn’t tell me he is smarter than I am just because he is older than I am and went to an Ivy League school. It’s to the point where I feel like I’m walking on egg shells around him.
    Okay, so that’s my rant. I know I need to progress in the relationship and be a better ME, but he needs to be a better HIM, too. I try my best to make him happy, but I sure as hell don’t give in to him yelling or calling me names. He crossed the line, I feel, this time. He made me feel pathetic in front of my kids and my guests. He didn’t understand the fact that I am running ragged trying to be a good host and take care of our kids and the house. Whenever his friends are here, he does NOTHING to help clean, which I don’t expect him to. I am the homemaker, and he brings home the bacon. I get it, it’s my job, but when my friends are staying with us, give me a break. UGH! I honestly don’t know if I am the one in the wrong on this or if he is. I’m sure I’m making it look like he’s the bad guy, but he does have a point with some things, just is a bit OCD I think.

  117. I too was in a abusive relationship. I wondered if it was me or him being honest. I stepped back and realized it was not me it was truly him. For twelve years he was mean and rotten to me. The last four years of being into recovery he started again. I mean this last month he started calling me dumb, stupid, retard, a scab you make me sick to my stomach not very nice at all. I started questioning myself and realized that it was not me and it was him. This last month when my car broke down and i asked to use his charger the first thing he did when i asked was slam the door in my face and call me a b***h. So i finally said enough after trying to figure it out he then choose to lock the door on me and not talk to me which is a form of control. We have not talked and it is sad after that long he would choose to be this way. We have not talked in awhile not sure but it makes me sad when ever i try he chooses to ignore me.

  118. I recently broke up with my boyfriend because of this. He would say things liks “your family is gay and weird” “you are only saying that to get validation from me” “i’ve never seen you be considerate and thoughtful” (not true at all) “i’m smarter than you” “i dont care what you have to say” “dont play your music out loud it sucks”(he ALWAYS played his music out loud). He would tell me how i thought or felt about something and would dismiss me if i tried to correct him .When I would try to tell him stories or a joke he would tell me to shutup and i felt like a child. I second guessed a lot of my thoughts and begun to keep quiet. I bought an outfit once and he burst out laughing & said I looked like an asshole. He questioned why i did things constantly-‘youre putting on makeup? Just go natural-and if you have to do it, dont do it here, do it in the bedroom’ before snatching my makeup & walking off. He took control of the groceries despite me paying for them. I generally was able to get 3 items I wanted out of a $100 shop. And he would sigh at my choices. Same with most things we bought-his choice always won over. I begun to feel suffocated & overcrowded. I don’t communicate well so instead of telling him how it made me feel i bottled it up or cried. He said he is dominant and basically felt it was a man’s job. He implied my compassion was a weakness, and this made me question myself to no end. Eventually it all came out in a drunken argument and i threw a glass bottle across the room. I was disappointed in myself for lashing out-I set no boundaries, thus giving him the opportunity to treat me however he wanted. He called me a psycho and said he didnt want to be with me anymore because I was ‘crazy’-I felt slighted because he emotionally abused me yet because i got physical, thats somehow so much worse? They are as bad as each other. I also felt slighted because I had tried to end things before citing my emotional problems and how i have to work on them and he was very dismissive, saying “as long as we want to be together thats all that matters”. (Of course at the end of the day I chose to stay-it just doesnt feel nice having it turned around on you)The next day i tried to talk to him and he backed away from me as if i was going to hit him and refused to hear me out. Right then I decided to break my lease early (sharehouse) and leave. I know I played a part in allowing him to treat me this way and I was by no means perfect in the relationship at all but to me relationships are about messy times and working through them. Belittling someone daily is a whole other ballgame. It stings that ut ended thus way but sometimes two people just have a toxic dynamic. I’m sure i’ll come to see it as a blessing in disguise.

  119. I have been with my bf for 2 years. Our relationship started as an affair. We fight constantly. I live in my own place and am suscessful in my career. In fights he calls me horrible names and reminds me of how our relationship started. He called me c*** wh*** S***. He has threatened to send pictures to my work. When I share life things with him he uses them against me. I shared some confidential information about a project I am working on at work and in a fight he told me he was going to my boss to tell him. He emailed a copy of my bosses contact informstion. Them he apologized and says he can’t believe I thought he was serious. That he just says the words but never means them. He tells me that he does it but I don’t treat him well. That I make others and work a priority so he is hurt so he says all these things. And I go back time and time again. I know this isn’t right. He constantly throws my past at me. Tells me I am a bad mother and I am pretentious because I bought a nice car. Tells me I did it for attention. It’s horrible. I need help not returning. I know it’s so wrong. He calls crying saying I hurt him and he’s sorry and didn’t mean the words but I need to take responsibility too.

  120. I’m so glad I’m not the only one.. I have never dated anyone like this and it hurts me a lot. I am constantly apologising for even things I did not do. And no matter what I say, he always says I’m all lies. He has never apologised to me even when he was in the wrong. When he’s mad it’s always over the most stupid little things. He doesn’t even let me talk, he just swears and yells, telling me to shut up, b@@@, c@@@ etc. I have never even talked to any guy I’ve dated in such way. He’s a really nice person when it’s all going okay, but he can go from 100 to 0 real quick. He checks all my emails, Facebook, Instagram and gets mad even if someone is my friend. Every guy is a treat. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore to be honest. I just came out of a 4year relationship and had given up.. and now this. I am so unlucky I guess. Cat lady forever at this stage.

  121. My boyfriend of 1/2 years physically choked me and called me names over text with “laughing emojis” because I heard him say a bad word i dont like (im christian) i went up to him and cursed him out.. I have never called him names, but I know he calls his family names even towards his mom. It was my fault that I started this because he sweared and I am so sensitive! What do I do? I could have thought before saying right at him… i didnt control myself in anger. People can’t control themeselves when in anger right? help me

  122. I have experienced so much from a three-year relationship. The first year or so was wonderful, I thought I met the man of my dreams….then later probably closer to two years in, he got super angry one night and called me a ____Liar, and I remembered how shocking it was to me, in addition I was struck accidentally when he was flailing his arms….from that first incident, it escalated to being called pretty much every name in the book—–names I have never been called, and damage to property being thrown around or on purpose destroying it out of anger.

    Then it escalated from verbal to menacing—putting his fist in my face in a menacing manner, throwing things, then just after a few times of that (guess he figured he got away with that…..) he actually grabbed, shoved, pushed me where I fell trying to get away from him….It escalated to more physical abuse that I am too embarrassed to admit, and the verbal abuse became almost every other day—needless to say I stayed way too long, and I knew better by the way….which makes me feel bad about myself.

    I was blinded by what I would describe as love, or being co-dependent, whatever I finally walked away knowing that there was no way things would get better.

    The irony in what I am talking about is he said I caused him to do this to me, and yet after the very first couple of events, I literally froze up and didn’t do anything but hoping he would de-escalate.

    I felt too ashamed to let my family know how I was being treated, and yet they were giving major hints to me that they were concerned about us, as I was not acting like my usual self, not answering my phone (it irritated him for me to have any contact with others, isolating me).

    After one significant incident I said I would not go back until he went to extensive counseling, in which he did and he embraced it (for a while) and he was improving (Borderline Personality type counseling); then he stopped going and guess what…

    I know I sound like a total fool, and I guess I thought that being supportive and loving it would help him be more gentle, and the rages, violence would go away…

    I didn’t want to abandon him and it made me feel bad/guilty, like giving up on someone I love, but I was afraid I would end up being seriously injured or worse. I have never seen such rage in a person and he is extremely hurt that I said I did not want to live like that anymore—because he said he was never like that before and that I made him do those things…..I ended the relationship.

  123. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a year and a half we are both 19. In the start of our relationship we set boundaries for both of us not to cross. This seemed to worked until just after our one year together. We have always been like best friends, we do everything together. I noticed that everytime I let one of his mistakes go and not let him know how I really felt this gave him the power to continue making more mistakes. Right now I am in a relationship with a person I care for, but I am afraid of. It first started with his name calling. He called me stupid and retarded and it got me upset but I got over it. Eventually he realize that him calling me those words didn’t mean anything to me cause I didn’t believe it. Now it has gotten to the point that I can’t even begin to understand. He calls me w@@@, b@@@, c@@@, and he even told me to kill myself multiple times. He knows that I don’t put up with his words, I have cried, yelled, And begged him to stop. Now his name calling happens everyday. I’m afraid of what he can do and will do. Some days we are mad in love, but other days I fear for my life. He has even gone as far as to scratch my face and even pour pop on my bed. I’m afraid of leaving but even more afraid of staying with him

  124. Fun fact: I’m reading and in my realtionship I’ve called my girlfriend that, and I love her so much and shes awesome but like when we play video games or sports (in our case we have a dungeons and dragons group) and I make a funny remark like “Haha you lost”, “Losser”, she normally takes it normal but yesterday she broke up with me because of that, out of now where! The thing is I never thought I was hurting her by saying these words, she said she forgives me, but this article really helped understand what was happening, I love her very much and I apologized to her

  125. my boyfriend of 3 years has called me stupid, dumb and weak whenever we fight its because he hates the truth about him. We can’t seem to communicate it’s his way or the high way. He has been talking about marriage a lot ,it was nice at first now I’m scared he even wants kids with me. he is emotionally unavailable and I’m starting to find interest in another guy but don’t know how to leave him..I think its cause my family loves him a lot I have never told them anything about this also he has banged my head on the wall and chokes me, he calls me 15 times a day to know where I am..please help

  126. I can relate to all of this my boyfriend calls me out my name when he gets upset saying things like b****, dumb bitch, stinky *****, dumb, retarded etc. And he does it in front of my 12 year old daughter. He also bring things. Up that i told him about previous relationships to hurt me. Also when ever he gets mad he takes anything he bought for me as a gift back.

  127. Hello ladies. I feel like I needed to share my story because so many of yours has opened my eyes. I have been dating this person for 3 years now. We lived at his parents for two years and finally bought a house and moved in together. It’s almost a year of living in the house. Ever since we moved in the problems started. I noticed I was more of his caretaker than his girlfriend. When I started debating on leaving my job because teaching is the most stressful job on the planet he called me an idiot. He said anyone would kill for my job. Which I don’t agree with. He didn’t support me on wanting to change my career path to make me happy. He would yell and scream at the top of his lungs when we fought. One time he opened the back door and yelled outside “this girl is a f*****g idiot!!” so that the neighbors could hear. So embarrassing. He ruined my past birthday because I wanted to spend it with my friends and he didn’t want to do that with me, we fought and I ended up crying on the bathroom floor. He never once gave me a card or flowers for anything but Valentine’s Day. Just lack of common decency. It’s like I have to take care of a 30 year old man child while working full time as he sits at home working from
    Home every day. We come home and fight about money yet I’m the one who considered getting the second job. I didn’t realize I was in a abusive relationship until my friends came to me and told me I deserved better. Yesterday I left for good. I finally packed a lot of bags and left after he called me a b**** and a c*** for wanting to leave him. That I’m making a huge mistake. But what he doesn’t know is he’s making the mistake. He tried to change, but threw it back in my face when he said all I want him to do is please me when I come home and he feels like he’s walking on eggshells. So I decided to break it off. Yea it’s hard to leave and he makes me feel guilty. But when someone has a drinking and smoking problem and it effects their judgement and quality of life. You need to move on and they need to grow up. We deserve more than that. I need not to be so dependent on a man and more independent for myself. We can do this. If we can put up with this abuse we can get over it too. I hope all the best for all
    Women going through these tough times.

    1. I can relate to this so much. My boyfriend of three years whom I have a child with acts the same way. We constantly fight. He calls me names all of the time. When ever I try to stick up for myself, he shuts it down saying I’m selfish and a lier. All I want to do is make him happy. Honestly, I’m nothing. I think about suicide daily, and it’s getting really hard to only find happiness within my baby, not myself. One day we will finally realize what we have to do to make eachother happy. I hope he realizes how much I love him.

  128. Get out now. It won’t change. Been with someone for 15 years and he calls me names when I challenge him and defend myself. He makes me out to be something I’m not accuses me of things that aren’t true. Says he loves me and wants to be with me but one minute I’m annoying and a punk ass bitch. Tells me If I was smart I would drop it.I can’t let anyone get away with talking to me this way but I guess I have for 15 years. He got deported and I’m suppose to leave my whole world to be with him and unless this changes I think it would be a really bad decision.

    1. Calling names is not normal.
      Get out of all of your relationships
      tell these poor excuses for men that you will not be their victim as you will be no ones victim.
      That is what they want
      to victimize so they can avoid facing their own maladaptive traumas.
      See CBT therapy… and work with someone specializing in narcissistic abuse recovery.
      Work on yourselves. Being single is not a crime or a bad thing… in fact it is a great thing in our crazy world these days.
      walk down the street buy urself a treat and enjoy each second of that.
      fill your days this way.
      pick up some good books on these topics.
      don miguel ruiz…thats a good choice.
      and dont take on an abusers projections.
      they probably arent even talking to you.
      they are sick and are projecting their problems onto you.
      think about this.
      dont stick around
      u have only 1 life.
      its not worth it
      what are you working on?
      they clearly arent working with you
      ie team player.
      u define what u want
      if you want something to change
      u have to.
      i am sorry to read all of this in all posts.
      We all need to love ourselves
      I wouldnt be putting up with this.
      I dumped him and Im not sorry. He should be and any man that calls himself a man and does all of the above to a women. dsmv 4 and 5. thats where these guys belong.

  129. I am so sad to hear so many stories like this. At the same time is kind of a relief to know I am not alone in a way. I have been dealing with this problem with my boyfriend for almost 10 years. I feel at this point like I have wasted so much time of my life in such a miserable environment. I can’t anymore is a torture. Only God knows how many times I have initiated the search for new place to live alone and always get distracted, i always find a reason to be positive and understanding with him but it is enough. We already sleep in separate bedrooms, and our sexlife is totally zero. All we do is eat together. I feel like I have develop a feeling of looking forward to food because it makes me feel good and more, it is the only sign of having a family I have in my life right now. He doesn’t even text me during the whole day…he spend most of the time watching tv when he gets home. If we decide to go for a walk we come back home arguing our ideas and mind set are so far apart. He has never shown interest in actually marrying, he has even told me I would not be a good mother, that broke my heart as I daydream of loving a baby so much, he nevers compliments me for anything, he has called all names , even has used information about my family interaction with my family in arguments pointing that I deserve all the misfortune with my family for being who I am. He hs called me “whore” , lately he has criticized me for gaining weight, and the word was “fat cow” …yet, he does things for me that seem like he cares for me, and if I say I would leave, he would say that’s the only solution of mine to everyproblem. He says that couples could have many problems but as long as there is not cheating everything else is normal. All I know is that I try to talk to him all the time I tell him I am not happy but he says is all in my head. I can’t anymore. I finally started to look for a place to move again. I only hope God gives me strenght to move forward. I am only 33 and I feel like 40 and my life’s chance for happiness I simply don’t see it but I prefer to be alone than with this torture. I struggle everyday to stay sane , keep a full time job and a part time school.
    Thanks for your posting.

    1. This boy does not respect you. Leave him. Why are you allowing him to call you names? Be the change you want to see.
      As long as someone isnt cheating, everything else is normal? is that his excuse for abusing you? a big deflection highlighting his own unresolved childhood traumas and his inability to admit he is an abuser.
      No cheating, calling people names, exhausting the life and times out of someone so they feel 100 yrs old…that is not normal.
      This clown doesnt respect you
      He cant
      and he never will
      What he does to you
      He has done and will do to someone else
      He needs you to stay
      to break u down
      to feel incontrol
      and the only time he feels in control
      of his life
      is when he is abusing and disintegrating you.
      Leave….that answer is simple.
      Stay somewhere safe.
      Tell him his time is up.
      Have all your stuff out of his place when you do that and the uber waiting
      make him walk u outside
      say it when the uber is there
      and have your cell charged and recorder on.
      then get into some therapy to figure out
      why u r letting someone treat you badly
      and call you names.
      work on yourself
      getting the u back thats lost
      and becoming a survivor or abuse
      wish u the best

  130. My cousin is in a situation right now where it could be potentionally dangerous. She came to me and her sister saying her boyfriend would hit, choke, and hold her down. Saying he’s constantly calling her these rude names, and when they fight he’s just very mean. She left him and is living with me and her sister, but she keeps sneaking off in the middle of the night to see him. Now she’s blaming us and telling us that we ruined her life because we convinced her to leave. I need advice

  131. I dont even know where to start.Ive been reading these comments and i relate to these so much.I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and things were amazing at the beginning.He was loyal,he always wanted to hangout with me,he would drop everything to spend more time with me.As the relationship progressed we ended up moving out together and the past couple months he doesnt want to hangout with me at much and when he does hes on his phone or getting angry with me for something.Sometimes when we are goofing around with each other he will smack my face or choke me or shove me really hard.It always hurts and when i tell him to stop he says “oh my gosh ashlee it does not hurt im just messing around”.I recently caught him cheating and when i confronted him about it the first thing he said was “well i think we should just break up then”.He is so quick to give up on me and our relationship.And when we do fight he calls me crazy as hell,dumbass,stupid,bitch,slut and petty.I have never toughed him in an aggressive way,the most i call him is rude and i never suggest breaking up.I feel so lost.I know i need to leave but he says if i leave he will make my life a living hell.Im scared…

  132. I’ve been on an off and on relationship for 4 years with a man who I always thought was the love of my life, my match. From the beginning there were warning signs I looked past, until the physical abuse started. I kicked him out of the home we lived in, his mom took him to anger management classes and I took him back thinking he changed, but the abuse only got worse. we broke up again and didn’t speak for almost a full year, until he came back and I accepted. the physical abuse stopped, but he is still easy angered, impatient and still calls me names like bitch, retard, dummy etc. when we have arguments. I don’t want to make this out like I’m perfect by any means, I have trust issues that seem to start the fights with him. so I’m very confused. I don’t feel no matter how upset he gets that I should be called names. Am I wrong? at this point I truly don’t know if I’m being ridiculous by asking not to be called names during a fight..im lost

  133. I can’t believe all the comments. I’ve been in more than one abusive relationship. Its viscious cycle it seems. I was not raised in an abusive home however was taught to continue to love no matter what and forgive. I believe this to be true, however some situations are not safe to be in. I have been left with deep emotional scars and slowly healing. I’ve also learned to get away. The only regret I have at times I catch myself starting to be abusive to name calling cussing shouting. Not something I’m proud of..years of exposure did not help. Its ok to love and show love and forgiveness but if someone treats u so poorly its better to be on your own and stay true to yourself. Love and help the world around u. Don’t throw your pearls before swine. Much love to u all!

  134. I’ve been with my boyfriend 16 months, he’s always acceded me about cheating and thinks I’m up to no good constantly. He so paranoid because he’s ex cheated on him with his best mate which I get. But still 16 months into the relationship how can someone still act like this?
    He’s got a behaviour issue since he was a child and becomes angry easily.
    When he’s angry he calls.me a slag and a skank and dirty bitch when he thinks I’m gonna cheat when is never do that.
    He looks up and down at what I wear and makes me feel like shit.
    When we’re good we’re brilliant but when we’re bad he’s horrible.
    I just sometimes try to block him out and he snaps out of it.
    But calling me slag, fat slag, stupid bitch e..c.t is not what you should call someone you supposed to love?
    We recently had a miscarriage and he was brilliant for a good 2 months and now we’ve gone back to square one and he’s jist nasty and I’ve had enough of the name calling but I try to ask him and confront him and he doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong.
    He hates my friends and my friends don’t like him.

  135. I don’t know what to do my boyfriend can go for him telling me he loves me and then I’m fat and ugly and a waste of space, why does he tell me he loves me if he doesn’t, I really do love him so I just let it slide most of the time but it really hurts

  136. Mines is the same. Im psycho stupid fat ugly everything is my fault noone wants me to go get my ex or someone else not allowed to talk to friends or go out or have any sort of life i pay all the bills and he works and keeps all his money to himself. Always smirks rolls eyes sighs or laughs when i have an issue or upset about something. Its always about me n im just a stupid little girl pathetic terrible mother i smell the list goes on n on n on. Any time i tell him to stop then im just running my mouth. Im sick of being blamed for everything. N belittled. Any argument hell walk out the room n shut the door behind him as if what am sayin isnt good enough for him to listen or hell move out for a few days them come bck. He cheated on me n lied about it he checks my phone if i leave it sat down n always accuses me of cheating.

  137. I am in a relationship with this guy. A guy I know very well. We have been dating for 6 months but have been really great friends for the past 5 years. Whenever we argue he calls me names. He calls me a hoe, a worthless hoe, a stupid bitch etc.. i’m inlove with him and he claims he loves me more then anything. Sometimes he starts thinking of things I’ve done in my past and just goes off calling me really mean names. I want to be with him more then anything but he’s tearing me to pieces. Whenever I ask him why he’s being so disrespectful his answer is always “i’m not you shouldn’t have been disrespectful to yourself in the past and done the things you did”.. i get no where with him, it’s always a losing battle. When we are good we are great though. Can someone please give me some advice I want him so so badly but I don’t know what to do anymore.

  138. This made me cry just reading other women’s post. I feel horrible for the women going through these abusive relationships & feel bad for myself as well. Things don’t seem like they were this way in the beginning until you see negative comments or accusations to make you want to prove yourself worthy to that person. Me and my bf (notice I didn’t say man) has been friends for 5 years now. I’ve made major mistakes in my life and confided in him and he always gave me great advice as friends. 7 months ago we decided to be exclusive and he was giving me warning signs saying his mom says “he should just date multiple women and shouldn’t be in a relationship” and follow it with “he’s too faithful & always gets done wrong.” I never listened because I seen our friendship & how he was with my kids and how caring he was for me. I started to see more signs when he would make negative comments about my clothes like it’s too short or I’m gonna attract too much attention, not touch or kiss me while pushing me away claiming I had too much makeup, and just the hurtful jokes like he was just playing. I don’t know what I was thinking after the signs are in my face but clearly I wasn’t. I was falling for his trap while picking his ass up every day cause he lost his license then picking up my kids, and going downhill each day. He had his own business but it wasn’t prosperous enough plus I quit my job because I just felt too much pressure on my plate while I got a call every other day about my sons adhd in school. I started making money driving but lost my vehicle due to a car accident. My bf helped me get another car but it had problems & every time he would help me fix it, it was shoved back in my face along with the money he wanted back. Mind you he lived with his mom & is a Capricorn so he didn’t mind being immature when I didn’t like something or prolong arguments about old stuff back in Dec & it is now Sept… we just now got into a argument & I am laying in my bed with my kids with the door locked after he called me a b**** like 10x along with stupid, weirdo, and dumb***, snatched my phone out my hands when I said I was calling my dad then said “ The sad you don’t even know “ when he knows my stepdad is my dad & my real dad died when I was a baby. He also asked to use my phone & I let him trying to avoid being mad and argued to get my phone back so he threw it down on my foot. He’s shoved me hard about my phone twice when I don’t even talk to other men. Luckily he hasn’t gone wild physically on me but I believe that’s only because I felt disrespected so much that I ended up hitting him. I feel like I have issues myself with anger but I never came into this disrespecting him. I feel so dumb, embarrassed with my neighbors, and my children. I could tell my sons behavior has gotten worse because he’s only 6 & seen him call me names. I am glad I read these women because it helps wake me up and instead of retaliating I was quiet this time & I just want out. He tells me I was just a hit to these men & I really don’t want to date anybody else for a long time and just focus on me & the kids lives. He is not their father so I definitely need to leave this cold hearted man alone. He is not the friend I thought I knew & my eyes are woke now for every man trying to know my past mistakes because of him. I have plans to let his a** go tomorrow when I drop him off from my place. It’s stupid to still help him with anything but I just don’t want no more drama and need to be peaceful even though he’s gonna come for me again in the morning. I hope many women make the right decision as well & move on from these black hearted cowards. We are worth so much more even if we gotta work hard to prove it to ourselves, we can do so much better but alone first without the comfort of any other man.

  139. I’m told that I’m the reason he is so unhappy and I’m the reason he can’t go do things. He has told me I made him into someone he is not. He gets mad at me and accuses me of being this person I’m not. I’ve been called so many names that I just get numb when they start and don’t keep track anymore. Tonight I am his piece of shit girlfriend a slob a bitch some others I don’t remember and I’m going to be alone like my mother. He tells me I never admit when I’m wrong and I’m stubborn and always have to be right. I don’t name call back the most I say is usually a sarcastic “thankyou” or I repeat what he said to me “okay I’m a piece of shit”. It’s how I’ve learned to deal with his temper. Tonight I told him he needs anger management so I got some other words thrown at me that my brain just seems to block out anymore. Oh he accused me of not taking my meds. (I take anxiety medicine). Sometimes he really spices up the name calling and throws a new name in there that I haven’t heard like tonight’s was psycho teacher. On the other side of this he is a hard worker and honest a great father trust worthy and caring. We just seem to have a lack of communication. I don’t understand why I can’t put any of this together in my head. I’m a smart woman and one minute I stand up for myself and the next I doubt myself. I think I justify it and I am scared to leave because of the kids.

  140. Sorry to hear your situation. I love my fiancé so much but I am ready to leave him now he’s put me through so much through the years and it just gets worse and worse. If he’s calling you names they will get worse and they will become more frequent. Mine used to call me names just when we argued but it got worse to the point he is calling me names everyday and even spitting at me. He’s even told me to kill myself a few times which Is disgusting and I should have left the first time he said it.
    Name calling is just the start of it and it will become physical so my advice is leave the first time and don’t fall in love with this guy because it will emotionally destroy you. I wish I left years ago. I’m actually sitting in our apartment with all my bags packed ready to walk out the door it’s so hard but I am going to do it without looking back. If you’re living with an abusive man and you would like to leave then I would advice you not to tell him you’re leaving wait for him to be out or asleep and take your chances and leave so he can’t hurt you or try to stop you.
    I better go now wish me luck.

  141. Ive been with my bf for about 6 years and Yesterday when we fought he just started off his yelling rant with juat straight up calling me a c@!#$ucker, like it was nothing. And honestly he has been calling me names like this for years, just yesterday it really got to me. I just want to say that i was a victim of sexual abuse when i was a child, and was made to perform such acts, which in turn has affected how i am now as a adult who never does this(rarely even on special occasions). Lately i have been coming around to feeling better about doing something like this for the man i love. I did tell him how i feel about such a thing, and about what happened to me as a child( i try not to talk to him about it, out of respect for him, because he doesnt want to hear it) and even apologized for not being comfortable doing it after all these years. Yet yesterday when we fought it was the first thing he said to me. It felt like he ripped out my heart and i feel so dirty and guilty.

  142. Lol my “boyfriend” has been trying for a day and a half to “fix” his triple check out of a randos a$$ at the wtore…in front of me. I called his name to get his attention on something in the aisle (which was nice to have for once since he’s always halfassing even listening to me) BUTT assoon as the moment came..it went once I realized that it wasn’t me that caught his eye. Pig. This was two days after my birthday….as to which he didnt buy me even a card (and I even gave him $20 and a very clear simplistic request—i just wanted heartfelt words to reflect back on geez)….so today as I was getting ready for an interview, I sat down and thought too much as I always do. Rerun after rerun of all the ways he’s disappointed, betrayed, lied, manipulated, humiliated, belittled me, and God forbid could have ever been there for me while life got heavy..etc.I started crying. You know those kind of tears that shoot down your cheeks without even a blink? Yeah. Those. He asks if I’m hungry. I said no while staring at the wall trying to avoid him seeing my face. I hopped in the shower and when I got out he was gone but left his phone. Weird but okay. Then he came back with a Carl’s Jr (one place he HATES) burger for me. I said to him “do you think that’s going to fix this? You ignore me when I’m crying and never make it okay…is there happiness inside this burger or something?” Lololol and he said “yeah! I mean I think all food makes fatties happy.”


    Basically the guy has been a nightmare since 2015. Endless abuse in every way possible… probably a sociopath tbh. And for those who have been with one, you know that its anything but easy to fully break free from one. At best you get many good sized breaks from them and eventually become so detached that they lose sight of how you benefit them anymore.

  143. Thank you to everyone who posted. I didn’t realize the name calling and these mind games he plays are so typical.

    Like many others here, I’m also called immature, stupid, that I need to change, I need to listen and learn from him, if I don’t change then I will loose all my friends, that he’s ‘helping’ me because I drive everyone around me crazy. He also calls me a c*nt, spoiled, manipulative, negative, lazy, inconsiderate and selfish. I should only speak when spoken too. I’m told that I’m contrary and if I say anything that doesn’t mimic what he says, it immediately sets him off. I’m an elementary school teacher and he tells me I don’t know how to manage my time and all I do is change diapers.

    The worst part is I have a really good memory and I can recite every word he calls me. I can’t seem to get what he says out of my head. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve tried to commit suicide a couple times.

    What kills me though is that I grew up in an abusive family with frequent domestic violence. I worked and studied hard to get out of my house at 16. I promised myself I would never let someone treat me like my dad treats my mom. I feel like such a fool for letting myself get sucked into this CRAP as an adult!

    I stopped talking to him today. Unfortunately I owe him money on a loan he gave me to buy my house. (He has a trust fund). At least the loan is set up through a lawyer because I know he would go after me for it all if not. The funny thing is less than 2 years ago he took from me more than what he loaned me and refused to give me back the money for over a year! (And didn’t pay me interest, like what I’m paying him)

  144. Ive been with my bf for almost 5 yrs in the beginning everything was cool for about two or three years we had our little disagreements but it never lasted long. It wasn’t until I got pregnant with our son thenthings began to change I stopped working because my pregnancy was high risk and I was in and out the hospital. He was cheating on me by talking and meeting up with other females I found out by going through his phone because he was so distant. He claimed that he was sorry and he would stop ! That was a lie ! I’m not going to say I was perfect because I diddirt as well but that was before we both decided to bring a child into this world and move in together. When I had my baby life changed in so many ways. I started to see a difference in my bf’s behavior he was always concerned about me being at the house alone because I was now a new mom and a stay at home mom. Months went by and the name calling started from me being a b****, broke b****(bcuz I don’t work) worthless, useless ,helpless stupid ,dumb , a h**, pathetic and then It got worse! One day he decided to get upset about going through my phone while I was sleep and saw a msg from my bestfriend that said thanks for coming to see me. My bff is a boy and my son’s god father he’s been in my life for the same amount time as my bf they both know each other been around each other and everything. But when he saw that everything went left he started disrespecting me calling me out my name telling me to get out the house at this time our son was 3/4 months old and it was in the month of November next thing you know I spaced out resulting in violence I hit him in the face and a fight broke out btwn us I cut his face and he broke my wrist I feared for my life because I reacted out of anger and sadness to know that someone I loved so much and cared for could hurt me in some many ways. And the fact that I have a son is the hardest thing I don’t want him seeing me cry or get disrespected by someone who claims to love me and it makes it more difficult because it’s his dad. I’m only 23 yrs old and I don’t work because i don’t have that choice right now daycare is so expensive I don’t have family who just sit at the house like me all day so I’m the only person. I hate that I don’t work because i started feeling helpless and useless bcuz I still had to ask him to buy this and buy that he has the money and I can’t just leave my child with any and everybody I have major trust issues when it comes to ppl and children. I just want to get back to a good space with myself Ive thought about killing myself plenty of times but when I look at my child and see his little face he’s worth living in this wicked world. So to all the women and mothers out there I feel your pain and your strength has not went unnoticed trust me I cry for you and you cry for me but those tears will be joy , love , happiness , and purity. The only thing that keeps me going everyday is telling myself that someone needs you more in this life you live!
    Thank you for reading

  145. Hi, I am 25 years old, a mother of two and the father is my boyfriend who is 31 years old. Recently we had an argument, it ended up badly because he called me names, immature,useless. Lately we hardly talk to each other. Whenever I try to make a conversation he reply as if he’s crushing everything I say like. Sometimes he would order me around and dont respect my opinion.Always he sees my mistakes.
    Help,I am tired of his insults, I am unhappy and losing weight and I feel trapped because of my two children.

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