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Warning Signs – Insults You, Calls You Names

NOTE: We are re-posting this article on Warning Signs – Insults You/Calls You Names to allow you to read some of the excellent comments we’ve received from those who are or have been in an abusive relationship. Please be aware that these comments are for informational purposes only; we cannot verify the validity of each individual comment. If you need help, please contact a professional organization such as loveisrespect.org at 1-866-331-9474.

DASH’s early warning signs are meant to guide you in determining whether your relationship is healthy. In this series of articles, we will explore each warning sign in more depth so that you will have a better idea about what each sign means and if you need to address a problem in your relationship. Our second early warning sign of abuse is:

Insults you, calls you names

This may seem like an obvious warning sign. No one likes to be called names, even when it’s innocent teasing by friends. The increased awareness of bullying behavior has brought this warning sign more attention. The old rhyme “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” certainly isn’t true. Names, particularly if they are hurled at you by someone who claims to love you, can be terribly painful. If people you don’t really care about call you names, it may not be as upsetting. If that person is your boyfriend or girlfriend it becomes a whole different story. As in the first warning sign calling names is about control and humiliation.

We all have dealt with nicknames and insults, even among our friends. You might be a nerd, a jock, a popular and be proud about it. Having others call you names might roll right off you. You need to be able to tell the difference between a silly nickname and an abusive one. Any time your partner chooses to insult you, your appearance, your intelligence, your choices or opinions it’s emotional abuse. Yes, your partner can have his/her own opinions, but when they question your ideas to the point of insult or humiliation, it becomes emotional abuse.

It doesn’t matter if the verbal abuse takes place in front of others or not. An abusive partner will tell you that no one else will love you because you are fat, ugly, stupid – pick a word. Some partners may use the most disgusting references in order to crush your self esteem. There is no need to spell them out here; you can imagine what kinds of words they use. By insulting you he/she is making you more dependent. Many abusers will humiliate or embarrass their partners in public as a method of control to “prove” that only the abuser can love them. A victim of emotional abuse may start to blame themselves for the abuser’s behavior and come to believe what the abuser says. Constant criticism will compel the victim to “improve” him/herself. After all, if the person who loves you thinks you’re stupid then it must be true.

Remember, if the person you love is making you feel bad about yourself then he/she really doesn’t love you. A healthy relationship should be relaxing and fun. You should feel free to express who you really are with your partner. You shouldn’t feel that you need to fix yourself in order to meet your partner’s standard. Emotional abuse can happen to any one and it may eventually escalate to physical abuse if it isn’t stopped.

If you determine that these warning signs are part of your relationship, remember: you are not alone. You may not know how to get help. You may be afraid to leave the situation. Abusers know that they can control you emotionally because no one wants to admit that someone else has treated them so poorly. Do not be ashamed. Dating abuse is not your fault. Recognize the signs of dating abuse and get help if your relationship exhibits any of these characteristics. You don’t have to handle this alone. Sharing can save your life. For confidential help, please call the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: 1-866-331-9474.

loveisrespect.org, a collaboration of Break the Cycle and the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline, can now answer your questions and concerns via text message. Simply text “Love Is” to 77054 for confidential help. Normal texting fees apply.


200 Responses to Warning Signs – Insults You, Calls You Names

  1. Zintle says:

    My boyfriend calls me names constantly and im tired of it and he would insult me to the point where i would feel like im nothing and useless but that usually happens when his angry and sometimes i doubt if he loves me or what. I believe that if someone loves you is not meant to say such hurtful things and claim to love you in the end.

    • dance queen says:

      I feel you, my boyfriend calls me names like “childish, immature, a brat, an insecure little girl who can’t do anything and he would always get mad at me when I would get so mad when he ” jokingly” say he was going to have sex with one of my friends and he also gets mad at me when i tell at him for calling me names. he always say their true. sometimes I don’t know what I should do. he hurts me emotionally and it sucks

    • Liv says:

      Confront him, or leave. Stop doing this to yourself. He’s hurt and he needs help. If you don’t want to help him or get him help, that’s fine, but get out and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Pity is a form of narcissistic pride. You’re not a victim, you’re a warrior. Use your brain and make yourself happy. If you have nothing to lose, you are absolutely free.

    • Vanshika says:

      Hey zintle .. after reading your post I can just say that if someone loves u truly , he would accept u the way u are .. like ur perfections and imperfections completely and yes respecting each other is a very essential part in a relationship .. if he doesn’t respect u then he doesn’t deserve u ..

    • Thelma Smith says:

      My boyfriend or ex-boyfriend I finally left after 9 months of constant emotional verbal abuse treated me extremely bad & after calling me every name in the book, telling me I’m an old ugly smelly woman he would always say, “You know I didn’t mean a word I said, you know I love you, Do you love me?” This last time after 9 months of this I simply said “The only thing I have to say to you is this: go find that beautiful, young sexy woman you’ve been wanting for the 9 months we’ve been together”. His response “You Hate Me”. I didn’t respond. I let him know I will NEVER talk to him on the phone or answer any emails or texts. He would always talk me into coming back to him then the same thing would happen all over again. It was like every other day. I told him you say you don’t mean a word of the insults to me but you do. If yo didn’t mean it and truly loved me you wouldn’t say those things to me. He’ll never change. He controlled my every move, wanted me on the phone from morning till I went to bed. If I went to drop the garbage he would be right there with me wondering if I’m flirting. Always accusing me of having a man in the apt with me or flirting with one. He was an extremely mean man, EVIL, a demon. There was not just the emotional verbal abuse but threats of harm to me. I’m out & am not going to fall for his “You know I love You” all over again. Believe me that man can love no one.

  2. kmh says:

    This website couldn’t have come at a better time to me. Just met a guy who – granted – his past girlfriend DID do him wrong – no doubt… most of us have been there.

    I’ve met him 4 times and his nickname for me is “Crazy Bitch.”
    When I was sick he did NOT bring me chicken soup and say, “Hey – feel better..” he texted me two pictures of frothy beer mugs saying he was at a bar having a good time.

    Thanks for this article – I consider it a sign to leave while I’m ahead.
    Thank you!!!

  3. Patricia says:

    I have been dating a man who is older than me by about 20 years…I’m not a teenager, but I am considered mature. We met about 4 months ago and we really hit it off well in the beginning, but after a few weeks I noticed that he would use names like Tootsie, or toots and tell me my opinions were silly and similar names that made me feel slightly uncomfortable and then one night we were talking and he called me stupid and I immediately told hm to never call me that again. over the Christmas holidays he brought me to a family party to introduce me to his family…when it came time for me to leave because I had to go to work, he walked me to my car and as I was getting in my car I turned around and he slapped me on my bottom and sad “thanks tootsie for coming with me. I was hurt that even after I told him not to call me those names that he cared so little about my feelings on the matter, I decided to end the relationship the next day. It spoiled my holiday for sure, but if I continued, it would only get worse. Strangely enough however instead of feeling bad about it which did,I also started to feel like a weight had been lifted from me. I had not realized how much with in those few short months he had been controlling my emotions and self esteem. It’s nice to be back n control…Patrica

    • Lira says:

      Hi Patricia,

      I have been in a similar situation as you. He would call me names and make fun of me. When I protested he would do it even more to irritate me. I broke up with him and he kept begging me to go back to him. When I went back to him , he started repeating his abusive behavior. So I took a lot of courage and finally left him.

      You be brave,
      Best wishes
      Lira

  4. sweetivy says:

    My fiancee is constantly calling me names, and I have told him how this makes me feel. He constantly does it and he tells me he loves me. He is not the same man I met, he said I have you know. Comments?

  5. liza says:

    My boyfriend gets angry when he doesn’t understand something and then turns on me. He usually calls me an “egg” which I thought was funny for the first two years but I am only a little tired of it. When I ask him to do something around the house, he throws a fit and threatens to get a job. It would be so nice if he got a job. We have been together for nearly three years and he hasn’t worked more than a couple of months in all that time. When I got laid off in the recent economic downturn, he blamed me for not getting along with my co-workers.

    I am not really sure what to do. He can be very sweet but he doesn’t seem to have much of a grip on reality. Yesterday, he went fishing so that he could “put food on the table” then gave all the fish away to his family and came home empty handed. A few weeks ago, our plum tree dropped about 40 kilo’s of plums. I wanted to take them to the market and sell them, he gave them to his mother to “pawn off on her friends” because there were “not enough to bother selling”.

    I have started an organic farm and he won’t allow me to take the produce to market because we need “a thousand pounds of each item” to make it worth our while. When I do bring in a harvest, he makes fun of me for having such low numbers. And yes, right now there are low numbers but 40kg of plums at $2.50 for 500g could have been worth $200 and one day’s work. But if I try to explain that to him, he starts yelling at me and telling me that I just don’t get it.

  6. megan says:

    I’ve been in this relationship for 4 years, and every single fight me and my “companion” have… Its not very good, … Bad its bad even… He calls me very bad things everytime we fight… And I actually “LOVE” this guy? And he claims he loves me ?
    Someone please tell me how ? I need someone to reassure me that am I wasting my time?

    • Sophie says:

      If he makes you feel bad about yourself and its a common thing, you should walk away before you get stuck with him for real reasons. I dated a Russian guy who judged my sexual history and he would call me out and tell people intimate details about my life before him in efforts to embarrass me and cement his superiority. It was really hard to walk away from it but I finally did and I am able to look at it as a learning experience. Once you walk away you will feel stronger and never take shit/dish it out that way again.

    • Mariana says:

      You are wasting your time Megan. The same thing is happening to me at the moment we have been together for 4 years and the same thing is happening. I have been reading a lot and I just realized that he doesn’t value me or respect me. He thinks that no matter how low he treats me I will still be there , because I love him…. And I’ve proved him right by still being with him. I realized that if a person loves you they shouldn’t ever treat you like this. Call you names insult you or degrade you. You are humiliating your self by being with him. He does not deserve you and same goes for me. We have to be strong enough to value our selves and let them go for our own sakes. This is not healthy and I love by boyfriend but I have had enough and I know I shouldn’t be with him and no matter how hard it is. You have to leave him because it won’t get better.

    • Vickie says:

      I have the very same problem. Its very confusing. Im very beat down and have trouble finding happiness now. And he dosnt know why im not happy. I dont know if he loves me or hates me. I dont know if i love him or hate him. I know i should leave him but everytime i try ….i just cant.

      • Mage says:

        I feel the same way. I don’t know why i won’t leave.

      • Yuki says:

        Hi Vickie. I’m currently facing the same situation/relationship like yours. I wish we could talk and share.

      • Jd says:

        I am one of those abusers, i am a very very sweet person and loves too much but when i get angry about something and me my partner fight i usually tell her bad things and cal her bad names sometimes and later i would just regret it all. But i know deep inside me that i truly love her, i just cant control my anger. I need help.

      • tmarie says:

        Hi Vickie. .only you can decide what to do for the best..but I assure you, I know exactly how you feel and how hard it can be. Loving someone who verbally abuses you one minute but is affectionate and loving the next. It’s heartbreaking, and emotionally draining. I have been with my partner three years…he calls me named I wouldn’t want to even write on here, then at other times he says and calls me the most loving things any man has ever before…. I love hI’m with my whole heart but also know whole heartedly tgat it is not ok, right or acceptable to call me the names he does.. to belittle, humiliate and intimidate me in private or on public…the worst in front of my young daughter. I feel like I should end the relationship and have told him if he doesn’t get help I will..but it’s so hard and havnt followed through..I know just how difficult it is ti dj what others may consider the right think, because we have in rated our love time and energy into someone ..something we want to last….but we deserve to be loved and respected ..not called names, abused and put down.

      • Paul says:

        I have a girlfriend that’s constantly like this. And when she drinks she gets worse … Especially in front of her guy friends. I have been patient and forgiving… But she won’t ever stop and it’s because she has no self respect. In the end you have to recognize that a manipulative person doesn’t recognize how they are and has little compassion. I don’t know how you do it but you have to get away. You don’t have a choice.

      • Allison says:

        I am in the exact same boat. My boyfriend is very controlling and will not let me hangout with anyone without him getting angry. He’s always very angry and negative. He calls me “f***ing retarded” every other day of the week.. and I lost my virginity from him, so I feel like I have some attachment to him, plus we have been together 2 years and I just don’t feel like starting over.

      • Vicky says:

        I have same feelings my confidence has completely gone

      • Scarlet says:

        I am in same Situation right now. I am in live in relationship with him for past 1 year and dont know how to get out of it. Please help

      • Ryan says:

        I want to know have you left him now ? Or does this still continue.

      • Erica says:

        You Are Not Alone! Never allow a man to bring you so low to the point to where you hate him. It’s very unhealthy and toxic. You have to become happy with yourself. I’m just getting out of your same exact situation. He would call me terrible disgusting names and I fit more like his enemy more than a companion. He made me not want to engage in any kind of affection or anything. Run now. Stay strong and know your worth and everyone else will too

    • Lupe says:

      What does your gut say? My boyfriend has even said he wishes he was with one of my sisters but he does it to get me mad. In no way shape or form I’m justifying he’s action but I know I’m a good women and I’m still here trying to salvage what’s left of what was once a beautiful thing. Try getting help for both of you and if that doesn’t then you’ll know what’s best. I hope God hears you and guides you to peace. We as women need to stick together because I’m embarrassed to talk to anyone about this thank you all for sharing your story.

    • Anila says:

      I have exactly the same problem

    • Melissa says:

      I feel the same as you do. Everything is perfect and we really get along together and we’re happy,but when there’s a problem a he gets mad it doesn’t matter if it’s a small or big problem, he treats me like s…t, he insults me and block me in every social media, he says that «so i can learn to not do it again» You’re wasting your time, and so am i, this is killing me. And then he says he loves me? After he made me feel like i don’t mean s…t to him. That’s not love and i don’t know how to leave. I’m scared, i know you are too.

    • Renee Brasier says:

      You’re wasting your time! Trust me. I’m getting over a situation with my daughters father. It started innocently enough and it got worse. I protested and he told me I was being weak for being offended. Four years later, the name calling and beratement continued. My gauge was how I responded to HIM when I was angry. I never called him names and I never belittled him. Why? Because I truly loved him. I also believe that when u LOVE someone, even in anger, u choose ur words wisely. Look at it from that perspective. Life is too short to spend it waiting on someone to respect you. If they can’t do it in the heat of an argument, they won’t do it at any other time. Trust your instincts!

    • Alice says:

      Hi Megan,
      I have a similar situation. EVERY SINGLE time my ex boyfriend and I fought (now over 6 years), he called me and my children names…horrible degrading names. This last time, 6 weeks ago I have not accepted his asking me back. It’s very difficult, I really thot he is all I could be comfortable with intimatly, emotionally, like I could never find anyone more compatable. I never knew these names, spitting on my stuff, pumping up his chest at me is considered abuse. I’m super sad.
      But I have been leaning on my children and exercising more. Its helped. My intuition tells me to move on, let him go. Listen to your intuition, it does not lie. Its what we know is right FOR OURSELF deep down in our gut. What the right choice is…for ourself and whoever we choose to be involved with! We need to let our intuition guide us, redirect us to peace and happiness. I was accustomed to ignoring my intuition, and letting him keep me down feeling inferior. Please give yourself what you deserve, and that is respect.

    • Natalie Shattuck says:

      Just checking on you Megan. Wanted to see how you are doing seeing it’s been two years since this post.

  7. zaida says:

    hi my name is jannet have with my relatioship almost 5 years old i am 39 years old also he black it =was okay untilt he believe his best freids saying that i was talking bad at him what it wasnt true i alwsy talk about the i miss him when he was at work that was it know it since it turn all up an beleive him his so know its drama know my husband call me drama crazy lie =/i dont understand also he said i dont how to drive not be a women no t independly alll his family bi side call a lier drama unrespectful so iam tired i have baby 1 year old 12 months an 5 years old so what can i do i just dont want to argue or fight i amtired he belive them thats on him his freinds dont like eather from same thin i am byself houston with no one i need some advice any pleas thanks

  8. sweetie123 says:

    I can totally relate as i feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life I can a stable home in England,I came to the states and meet my husband.who I felt was the love of my life but once I said those volves it was over, thats when the manipulation started the name call the jealousy he even storks me he doesnt allow me to be me he contantly complsins about everything. I work 2 jobs to try and stay out the house because of the contant put down the lies it hurts deep inside so where.I feel so lost and miss my family I gave up everything to be with someone who mentally abused me everyday the eorst thing i can not leave because i will get deported and i have nothing to go back to i gave up everything to strt a new life with him and because i have forgiven him for so much he treats me loke crap now. It hurts so much god knows this is the eorst relationship i have been in i have never neen so disrespected lile this before.

    • Broken says:

      I know what you mean. I left my family in the Caribbean for this guy i fell in love with and he has mentally abused me for the last 7 years and we been together almost 11 yrs with 2 kids a 3yr old and an 8yr old and he says the most obscene things in front of them. Ihave nowhere to go i feel so stuck and my kids see me cry everyday and accuses me of things and calls me a prostitute says i sleep with a bunch of men and it is not true. Im suffering so bad

    • Ana says:

      What do you mean, you don’t have anyone? You have your family. I think it’s better to start fresh than live a life in hell. Girl….I hope you can move away from that man.

    • Chelsea says:

      I’m so sorry that you went through that. It broke my heart reading your post. I truly hope you are in a better place now and found your way out of that. Nobody deserves that.

    • Kb says:

      I I’m in the same boat I pray it will get better and it will

    • Annabellee says:

      I am pretty much on the same page as you. Its the worst feeling… it all comes back and makes me think what did I do to deserve such a bad person in my life?! I am here for you … im not quite sure where u are . But im located in california and you are more thn welcomed to contact me for help! Im sure theres a way out … keep safe and positive. What doesnt kill us makes us stronger. God bless you sweetie

    • casey says:

      Swetie 123 you are not alone.You are so brave coming all the way from a far land.At least you dont have kids by this man .I am trying 2 leave a similar situation but im.American and have kids and manage 2 get out of the same house .My kids father is so mean like your guy.Dont give up your life will be so much better without this toxic person around you.Whatever this man does he has a problem it has no affect on you.No matter what he says dont let him.destroy your belief in yourself. Believe your valuable and special. These men take advantage when your in a bad position .They bring many people around to convince you something wrong with you.Please stay strong people need good. People in they life and let these bad men be in they own sick world.You dont deserve to be treated this way you have rights and just because your a citizen of a different place dosent mean he can do this.

    • Jenna says:

      Where do you get that you will be deported? I left me ex who was abusive. Got a divorce, still have my green card. Just renew it every ten years. I am not the only one, a friend from France had the same situation. You can leave and file for divorce, don’t let him fool you into thinking he can deport you! So not true!!!

    • Jay says:

      I’m going through the same situation.

    • Alicja says:

      Dear sweetie. I just moved back to the Netherlands to”him”… from ending the relationship and going back to my homeland, missing him and willing to give us another chance I came back. After two weeks now I already regret it. Like you said…as more you forgive, the more disrespectful and powerful they get. He feels like he can say whatever he wants and I will always forgive him 🙁 I booked a vacation with my mum to Israel and he got furious cause I didn’t consult this with him (we are not married, I’m paying for this vacation). He called me selfish slut and later on throw a glass of water over me…I feel like a little baby cause when I “don’t listen” I get punished. I feel so embarrassed in front of my family that I left again for something like this 🙁

    • Erica says:

      You deserve better than what you’re allowing. Just remember you are allowing it. You have to be strong and gain that confidence back in yourself!! Once you forgive and abusive man, he will then do it again and again, thinking you’re always gonna take him back. He has no respect for you. I’m just getting out of a relationship similar to yours, although I wasn’t married. But that is never a reason to stay with a man, even if you have children with him. My advice would be to go back home, get a divorce, and never look back. Always watch out for the warning signs when you have a date. You are beautiful, you are strong, and you deserve better!!!! RESPECT

    • Glen says:

      I’m praying for you , all of you <3

  9. celeste says:

    I have a boyfriend that calls me ugly name abt my feet the way I look says I look like a woman that has 10 children

  10. Lnp says:

    I have been with the same man for almost 5 years. I am 25 he is 35. he has 2 of his three kids i raise them. he doesnt have a job. he doesnt help around the house or with children. I work, go to school full time and cook and clean and mow yard etc. He calls me ugly names that are beyond words cruel and abusive. I hate the way he makes me feel for no reason. Majority of the time its over absolutely nothing. If he is out of cigarettes, for instance that was the thing tonight. He began to call me a fatslob, and fat ass btch, along with other things. and He calls me names to his kids and refers to me as the fat bitch. I just wanna be able to leave and never look back. why do i stay and put up with the abuse not only verbal but physical.

    • Mavi says:

      Hi Lnp,
      In regards your situation, you should never let him treat you like that. For once you don’t deserved that. It is disrespectful, and he doesnt seems to appreciate all you do for him. Look at the way he treat his kids, that tells you that he doesn’t have no bounderies and if you dont listen to does feeling that’s telling you that is not ok the way he’s treating, you’ll regreat it. If he loves you enough he’ll be willing to change that behaviour tours you and be an adult.

    • daniel stroud says:

      im in that situation before love and trust theyllneva change twochoices in life good bad etc if u have the patience to wait to see if he does stay but if u dont let him go pray about it first of all im daniel stroud by the way im on face book daniel stroud stroud take care of yourself

    • Indira says:

      You absolutely do not deserve to be talked to and treated like an animal, especially in front of his kids who you take care of. He does not have respect for himself so he does not respect you. We can’t change anyone, we can only change ourselves. Get out and get with a support group. Many states have free abused women’s groups and are private and confidential. I left a marriage of 24 years and I was the most difficult thing I ever did. I healed and worked on me. You can get free. Just do it. Don’t tell anyone. Look into a group. Most women’s shelters have info of them. Take refuge and save yourself. No one else can. You deserve the best and do not settle for anything less. Go for it!! Be safe. I’ll pray for you. Please get away to safety. No one should have to live like this. Own your self worth and leave that highly abusive man.

    • Douglas Batchelder says:

      Haul ass now!! Don’t let him become 45 and you 35

  11. Alice says:

    I just did this to my ex. and I did really love him and it was one time but I said it to hurt him and yes I had a break down.
    our relationship was a lot of work on my part and nothing on his. I stood by him while be deciced to move away and figure out what he wanted in life he tried leaving me then and then came back we were miles apart and I stayed loyal and when I saw him once in a blue moon I would go out of my way for him big time and it didn’t matter cause I loved him and wanted to make him feel special. (I don’t want him back, but I did love him)but it was one hard long distance relationship. he never called me he never skyped he barely texted me and I was nervous to text him cause he barely texted me. but I still would try and be patient and try and understand him. but then Christmas came and Christmas is always an exspenive time of year and I still saved and went out of my way for him got a hotel I bought him super nice thoughtful gift and I dressed up for him 😉 and all he got me was a little teddy bear plus he told me he got it last minute …………. ouch!!! so I ignored it and told him its okay I still loved it. then feb came and it was his birthday and my dumb ass went all out for him again bought him really nice gifts super exspenive ones to and I put thought into it to make sure he liked them I bought him a cake and let him eat sushi off me. then i found out for Christmas he bought and sent miles away his brothers gf really nice thoughtful gifts. I told him before his bd that he needed to do something for me or I was done( it was gwetting bad I felt taken advangted of.) I know saying that to him would of freaked him out but it would of showen me what I was up for. seeing how so far he was putting me on the back burner for a long time and over everything. anyways he couldn’t do anything nice for me. he couldn’t even think of anything nice for me so I dumped him. then I found out I was pergo with him talked a bit theni moved an hour away from him and he got back together with me and I lost the baby:( at 10weeks and he was not there for me at all. he came down two weeks after and I was still in denial about everything so we didn’t talk and then a few weeks later I told him we needed to talk and I didn’t see him for 5 weeks!! he would say he was coming down but not show or saying antying until last minute and it was me calling him so eventually I snaped I became an abusier I said everything I could think of that would hurt him. i do have restement towards him but hes not a horrible person just horrible for me. i hate myself for being abusive im not like that and im getting help so that next time im in so much pain i can deal with it better. but it has helped my anger about the situation on getting him out of mylife

    Feels good to write this out.
    i know he is no lose to me
    except the fact that i really did care.
    but i am so better off without someone like him.
    i know what i did was wrng but im only human and can only put up with so much

    • Sophie says:

      I understand how so much frustration built up and finally you hit back with words. That reminds me of my mom and dad who are now divorced because he recently came clean about his affairs. He was not present during our childhood and they didn’t get along because they were terrible business partners and it was too heavy a load. He calls my mom evil because she would tear him down with words but how can you blame her when he was so terrible at communicating and showing her he loved her. It makes sense that you reacted, however, there was a lot of poison in that relationship. It isn’t fun to be the person who is angry and insulting either so in that situation no one wins 🙁 its for the better that its in the past. One of the biggest predictors of divorce is contempt. It sounds like that relationship was overflowing with underlying anger and resentment. I’m sorry that you put so much effort into that man and he didn’t return the kindness.

    • ANNONYMOUS says:

      I WORK HE DOESN;T I PAY BILL FROM MY WORK HE DOESN’T ALL HE WANTS IS A TELEPHONE TO CALL PEOPLE AND HE’S 53 YEARS OLD HE WAS LIKE MAYBE 41 WHEN I MET HIM. HE HAD ALOT OF ISSUES NUMBER ONE HE WAS HOMELESS LIVING IN A SHELTER, BUT HE PRETENDED HE WORKING AND HAD A BRIEFCASE. HE CARRIED THE ROLE LIKE HE WAS WORKING FOR A COMPANY, BUT HE WASN’T, HE USED THE SHELTER AS A LINE OF WORK.HE WOULD MEET WITH ME EVERY DAY JUST ABOUT TO DO LUNCH, WHEN HE ONLY BOUGHT LUNCH ONE TIME AND THAT WAS THE LAST TWENTY HE HAD. SO WE WOULD WALK AROUND AT MY LUNCE TIME AND HE TELL ME ALL THE THINGS THAT WAS GOING ON WITH. HE WAS TALL , HANDSOME. NOW ALL THIS WAS MADE UP. WE KICKED IT AROUND FOR ABOUT 6 MONTHS AND HE KEPT WANTING TO KNOW WHERE I STAYED, SO I FINALLY AFTER 6 HE WOULD MEET ME AT THE TRAIN STATION I HAD TO GO AND TAKE CARE OF SOME BUSINESS AND HE WAS RIGHT THERE TO MEET ME AND I WENT TO TAKE CARE OF THE BUSINESS AND FROM THERE HE CAME TO MY HOUSE WITH ME ON THE TRAIN. AFTER HE FOUND OUT WHERE I STAYED HE WOULD COME AND VIST SOMETIME. AFTER A WHILE HE WONDERED OFF HIS TIME WAS UP AT THE SHE SHELTER SO VENTURED ON AND MOVE-IN WITH SOME WOMAN WHO COME TO FIND OUT LATER WAS LIVING IN HOUSING. AND HE COULDN’T STAY WITH HER ANYMORE BUT HE COULDN’T MOVE IN WITH ME EITHER. EVENTUALL I GAVE UP MY PLACE AND WENT TO STAY WITH MY SON OR TWO. THE SHELTER PAID FOR HIM TO LIVE AT THE HOTEL FOR TWO MONTHS HE WAS STILL TRYING TO HANG
      AND I HUNG WITH HIM. THIS THING REALLY STARTED OUT A FRIENSHIP. SO I DECIDED AFTER I GOT BACK INTO MY OWN APARTMENT I WOULD LET HIM COME BECAUSE HE SHOWING THAT HE WILL REALL WORK ON A JOB IF GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY WELL THERE WERE ABOUT 3 OR 4 JOBS GIVEN OFFERS HE TOOK THEM BUT HE DIDN’T KEEP THEM. IN THE MEANTIME I’M STILL TAKING CARE OF WHAT I DO.AFTER A WHILE THERE ARE PEOPLE COMING TO THE HOUSE, IM AT WORK THERE SHALL BE NO ONE AT MY HOUSE.THESE PEOPLE MUCH YOUNGER THAN HIM. I STAYED THE THOSE APARTMENT FOR ABOUT 2 GOING ON 3 YEARS AFTER THAT I HAD TO MOVE. I MOVE TO DOWN TO A COUPLE BLOCKS DOWN. IT GOT WORSER CAUSE THEN OTHER STRANGE CHARACTERS START SHOWING UP. AT THE SAME TOKEN HE’S TRYING TO ASSURE EVERYTHING IS OK. THIS MF TURNS OUT HE REALLY FU. HE WANTS TO CONTROL BUT IN A WAY IT DOESN’T SEEM THAT HES DOING THIS, SO WHEN HE CAN’T TO HAPPEN WHAT HE TRY TO GET HAPPEN HE WANTS CALL ME NAMES, TRY AND MAKE ME JEALOUS, TRYING THREATED THAT THE IS GOING TO GET SOMEBODY OR HE’S TALKING TO SOMEBODY NOW AND HE EVEN THROWS HIS EXWIFE IN IT. IT HAS TALKED ABOUT HER LIKE SHE AINT NOTHING AND HE SAYS HE’SGOING BACK TO HER. AFTER HE HAS DONE ALL THESE THINGS, DISREPECTED ME IN FRONTED OF OTHER PEOPLE CALLING ME NAMES HE SAY NASTY THINGS. THROUGH THIS I SAY THIS HAS NOT ME FELL ANY LESS, I HELPED HIM , HE DIDN’T HELP ME WITH ANYTHING HE MAY HAVE DONE SUPPOSELY TO BE NICE HE WOULD TURN AROUND BRING UP WHAT HE DID AND TRY AND ACT WHATEVER HE DID WASN’T APPRICATED, HE PLACE AND UNTIL HE FIND A REASON NOT TO BE NICE. HE STATES HE SAID NOBODY APPRICATES WHAT HE DOES. SO BASICALLY HE HAS DONE A LOT HUMILIATING THINGS THAT WOULD MAKE ME LOOK STUPID AND CALL ME STUPID . I CAME IN HIS LIFE AS A FRIEND AND THIS IS HOW HE DONE IT. THE LADY SAID IT THE OTHER PARAGRAPH THAT I WILL BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT, I FORGOT WHEN HE GET ANGRY ABOUT SOMETHING HE GOES ON FOR DAYS ABOUT IT. I HAVE HELPED HIM THE HOSPITAL ALL KINDS OF THINGS. WELL HE IS HISTORY THE HISTORY I DO PLAN TOGETHER. A PERSON SHOULD NEVER SO ONE LIKE THAT EXPECIALLY THAT PERSON ASSISTED THEM IN THEIR TIME OF NEED.

  12. cathy says:

    Hi,
    I am 24 years old and I have been with my bf for four years. When I met him I wasn’t in a positive state of mind but since he was so kind and loving, I confided in him. I told him most of my secrets. Later in our relationship he began going through my things, asking me about more stuff, and he just basically wanted to know everything that’s occurred in my life. Today, I can honestly say he knows everything about me. I thought this was normal, I thought he was my best friend, and I thought he loved me.
    We had a lot of fights, about big and small things. At first it was just loud and disturbing, but then it became a little less loud and more hurtful. He started using my secrets against me. He would call me stupid, disgusting, whore, bitch, cunt, spick.
    My boyfriend is White and I am Hispanic. His family hates me because I am not White, I never considered him racist though. I thought, if he is with me and I am Hispanic then there is no way he is racist. But I think this is also something that I forced myself to believe. In private, he will call black people niggas, and not in the slang version of it; in a cold and hateful version. He also calls Hispanics spicks.
    Anyway, with all of this I still found it in me to love him so much and basically put him first on my list of priorities. When he is not angry with me he is super fun and loving. I moved out of my parents house and now live closer to him. Now that I have my own apartment, he has access at anytime but he doesn’t live with me. Thank god. He doesn’t help at all in my house. Sometimes, he buys food but that’s it. He has never offered to help me financially. He only ever gives me things on holidays or our anniversary. This year he didn’t get me anything at all. He said we agreed not to. I still got him stuff because I have always been a sucker for holidays and our anniversary. He knows this.
    Yesterday I went through his phone. I found a conversation with one of his female coworkers. She was telling him how she wanted to go bother him and how she is going away on vacation and she bought a few bathing suits. She send pics of the suits and told him how she hopes she gets **** while shes away. Smh. She said a couple of other things about her body parts and went on to talk about something else. I asked him about it and he got mad at me. He said I am not cut of to be in a serious relationship and that I am a stupid ****. He said that that girl is his friend and so on and so fourth.
    As long as we been together, neither of us has had any friends like this. This is one of the reasons I accepted the way he was, because I thought since he doesn’t cheat on me and respects me enough to not have inappropriate “friendships” with other girls then its a good trade.
    Its been two days since he has tried to reach out. Last thing he said was that I was a paranoid, jealous stupid ****.
    I know for sure we will be talking pretty soon, and I pity myself for wanting to talk to him but I don’t want to forgive him. I always blame myself for everything. I have been giving in for a couple years now. He is finally starting to win but I shouldn’t let him. I don’t know how I will get passed this but I have to try. One thing I realized is that before I met him, yes, I wasn’t in the best state of mind. I was all about fun and completely irresponsible. I made a lot of mistakes and had a lot of regrets but I still loved myself. I respected myself. Not anymore.

    • Nana says:

      I am in the same situation, I am 29 years old African woman dating a 33yrs old French guy for almost 4 years.He was never the wandering eyes type but from your experience I see now that one can’t have everything. I broke up with him lately but have to live in the same house to get at least part of my investment in the business we started together. He is begging and crying to take him back but I’m standing my ground as I strongly believe we’re not meant for each other. As I type this he is saying nasty things to me like oh you are barren, you are disgusting, your family is poor, how could you be pregnant at 17, you are second hand, stuff like this . But I know this is how nacissists behave. I am making arrangements to leave this house in the next two weeks, all I have to do is tune him out and do my work. My dear you need to ask yourself is this something you want in the next 3-5 years. I’d say leave , you’ll be fine.

    • zailene says:

      hi ladies my name is Nadia I have been in a relationship for 5months with my boyfriend we work together we stay together so like every second to 3rd day he comes home with stories from work, his like this guy who knows an listen to everybody and he will belief everything & anything anybody tells him I cant play with him nor make jokes with him he is the only person to make jokes with me if I do he gets angry and start calling me names ,saying my mother don’t tech me manors or I don’t have respect, the other day he farted in my face an told me it was a joke , point is am being called a dirty bitch, disrespectful for no reason, saying am sleeping with married man( something iv never done in my life) ,am not wife material, I will never get married or find a men better than him ,he calls me a **********, he points his finger in my face telling me he gonna **** me up then leave me ,am so stupid an al this names just because I went to my mother who stay 10minuts away an only returned back home after 1hour 30minuts (first of all he knew I had a cold so who wouldn’t go to her mother if sick ?) an the fact that I couldn’t cook I mean there is bread ,cheese an what so ever in the fridge, please ladies I need help am I being abused or what is this ?

    • Corty says:

      I am in complete shock right now as I just finished re reading your post over and over again because I cant find one thing that’s different in my relationship! I kind of wonder what this guys name is because I swear that your talking about my boyfriend!!!

      I went through his phone a couple of nights ago and he caught me! I was immediately called a ****, whore, LIAR, Stupid, etc…The problem is that he caught me right at the moment that I started going through his phone and that I wasn’t able to go through and see if he had any conversations going on with any women in his phone….We’ve been together for almost ten months now and I moved in with him very early on in the relationship and I’m The FIRST girlfriend that he’s EVER lived with!! He is 44 years old and I’m 36 years old!!! He’s NEVER been married or had any kids either!! He was in a long term relationship of 7-8 years that ended a little over 3 years ago…She didn’t move in with him as he told her that they would build a house together once both of her kids were 18 years old which I believe was the ultimate reason she ended up leaving him…So, when he calls me a stupid ********* and that I’m the only person that has ever made him feel like THIS, I actually believe it!!!
      He also said that I was a paranoid, stupid jealous **** and he used that same line that I’m not cut out to be in a serious relationship, which hes said this same thing before…I just couldn’t believe that while I was reading your post that someone else would say THE SAME EXACT THING!!!
      I have caught him earlier on in the relationship talking and flirting with other women through fb messenger and texts on his phone which is a HUGE reason I decided to go through his phone the other night, and he also wouldn’t speak to me the last couple of days, either! When we get into these arguments which pretty much started pretty early on in the relationship, he yells at me and says that he doesn’t believe a word I say and accuses me of talking to and hooking up with other guys all the time even though he ALWAYS knows where I am and there’s never any time in my days that goes unaccounted for!!! This makes me furious because I haven’t spoken to, text or even remotely flirted with another guy since I met him!!! Tonight when I came home which we were supposed to go skiing together today and because I made him so mad for going through his phone and being such a lying ********* the other night that he didn’t include me and reminded me of that tonight as well and how he was going to buy me a pair of skis today as well….He HIT me… it finally happened…I can’t believe it…he shoved me into a wall and then when I was curled up on the chair in the living room and wouldn’t respond to any of his accusations or demeaning words he came back out into the living room and came back at me with his fist..I flinched and automatically put my arms up in defense…He just stared at me for a minute with his fist in the air and then said he would never hit me and that he would never want to hurt me! WHAT??!! It wasn’t even 5 minutes prior that he hit me and slammed me into the wall!!! He also told me for the first time tonight that nobody would ever love me the way he loved me..He also calls everyone spicks and used the N word all the time but openly and has made comments out loud about the JUNGLE music that a bar has played…
      Is this the same guy??!!! I’m sort of Kidding…can anyone please give me some advice??? How do I get our relationship back into a good spot and keep it there?? This is the FIRST man I’ve EVER truly loved and I was married once before and have lived with 2 other boyfriends in my lifetime as well, which he KNOWS ALL of this but he also knows that I cheated on my husband and other boyfriends as well which ive used as an excuse for him even though I’ve been to therapy and made some major changes in my life and i continually tell him that I’m not the same person I was when I was in my 20’s!!! I was married at 20 and had a child!! I was young and dumb!

    • Melissa Pearsall says:

      Love yourself First Ladies!Dont stay with a annoying ass piece of shit who won’t help you and feels the need to control you.Been there done that.words do hurt but you all don’t need to be degraded as a person over all or disrespected at anytime,anymore!Ive been putting up with mental abuse from relationships and I unfortunately deal with mental abuse from my dad on a regular basis.I understand and know all to well.you feel aweful and can’t think straight from verbal and emotional abuse.Im writing this and being verbally abused as I write this but I have learned to block it out.Just love yourself first.love your children,if you have any.Stand up for yourself and stick to your words that you will not tolerate this type of behavior from them.They all say there sorry.Nope.dont trust it.It hurts cause you feel victimized and a form of voilated and you tell yourself ,you deserve better.Just remember,you can do bad all by yourself and you don’t need help!!!These people are getting pleasure from your pain.Take back your self confidence back and do what is going to help you best.You are not alone.The best thing to do when someone is insulting you is to say nothing and walk away!!!Ignore them completely!its easy said than done and don’t think you can’t get someone else cause you can.you ladies need good hobbies and jobs that makes you a lot of money so you can be the provider of your family and not rely on no one.Dont like how he treats you,your going to have to change your environment.Its not always a pill for mental ,emotional ,verbal abuse.You are a person and people love you.You are somebody to someone and you are important.Do the right and legal stuff.dont break the law.just saying and do what is best for you.

    • Paisley says:

      You do NOT need that. I don’t know who you are, but you are so much better than you think.

    • lk says:

      My husband calls me names of all sorts , repeats things over and over again, gets in my face, , I do not degrade myself because of him as a matter of fact the more he does it the stronger I get ,I know that I am a person of great ability and no one but no one is bringing me down especially a man.

  13. Ana Otero says:

    I need help to get out of this situation

  14. Jeff says:

    She’s called me embarrassing once…for nothing
    She loves me I hope. And she knows I love her. She was talking too me. And this the only person I’ll stay up till 5in the morning too talk too. But one time she was at her friends house and she texted me and told me too FaceTime. So I did and I told her I love her and I wasn’t talking much at all. I want her too spend time with her friends and family. And I even ask if I’m bothering her and she says no. So I don’t leave. I just don’t want too bother her. But she told me this one time she said it very rudely she said “I don’t just have too talk too you”. And that really hurt me. I love her and if I lost her it would kill me

    • Tiffany says:

      It seams like she is not interested in you and is just stringing you along.

    • Gracie says:

      Jeff,
      It is clear that you love this person but I want you to know I have never answered anyone’s response before. Remember that you need to love yourself in order to love someone else. You must never think that it would kill you if a relationship ended. I hope you meant it would hurt you a lot. I someone leaves you then it may hurt you for a long time but eventually you will find someone else even though it may seem impossible. You left this message a while ago so I hope you get it. I am in a very bad situation in my life where I was married to a man and he had a mistress. He divorced me and I literally go messed over in court and have nothing at all left in the world except my dog. I’m scared and very sad. I;m staying with a man I thought was a christian but he also knows I have nothing. He has started to use this against me. He is constantly telling me how pretty other women are. How he wants to sit in the window of a restaurant so he can watch people with big boobs. He once called me old although he is twelve years older than I am. He tells me I am beautiful but with all the comments he makes he makes me feel insecure and he tells me I am to sensitive. That I have an issue and he can’t be with me. Once when we were out I made a comment about my business I used to have and he embarrassed me for no reason. He’s also recently called me a **** and squeezed my mouth shut when I didn’t take the blame as I usually do. I know I need to leave this situation. In fact yesterday he told me he can’t be with me because I am too sensitive. I’ve read that talking like this and mentioning women and then saying I am too sensitive is wrong and none of my other men partners have ever done this. I am older and in my generation at least men may notice a woman but not say things like :whoa: about someone many generations younger. He still wants me to live at his home but nit be with me. Again, due to my husband having power I was left with nothing. I haven’t worked in years and I also am sick with a neuro issue. I am scared and heartbroken but I know that I will find a way and happiness again. Please know you will too.

  15. Lynn says:

    Ive been dating this much older guy for a while now and it was perfect at first but then he started calling me names every name that is and everytime I would give a guy a hug he didnt like it at all he doesnt even like me talking to other men. And he asks me to make money for him by sleeping with other men I dont know if he is joking about that or not but this is the creepiest thin g he keeps asking me to have a three some with him and his son again dont know if he is joking or not. And I also have pimples on my face and he said I have pimpleitus and that you cant even see my face anymore. And he says this stuff in a normal toned voice and its always usually when we are getting along its really weird.

    • Robin says:

      Lynn, Hi. I dont often reply but i read your post and it creeped me out. I would run as fast as i can. He is testing you. He wants to make money from you. By doing a 3way thats his way of breaking u in. You are beautiful and respectable. Dont let that mother fer treat you that way. Only be treated with respect. Demand it!!! He’s trying to pimp you out. Love always Robin D

  16. Patricia says:

    Thank you to open my eyes it hurts but you said when someone calls names like my supost boyfriend who lived in my apt almost two years and even I give him my love,been generous in many aspects he never gave me credit for how nice I was, also accepted his son leaving with us and he never gave me any credit. I know he’s much younger than me but he called me fat in the past two weeks a go. Then blame his Christian religion to stop have intimicy with me since this wwek.Even he went to church last Tuesday he did call me old !! yesterday!? Because I told him I would like to heard from his Pastor about if this changes are normal.For my experience I would like to confirm that most of the persons treat wrong to a good people very unfair and wick! But with bad people they have more respect or fears to abused them or called names. We need to stop this to hurt good people If is no love tere mans or womans just move on don’t be evil.Thanks.

  17. keira says:

    I feel like am being emotional abused by my boyfriend who’s younger that me btw.he diminishes humiliates and verbally abuses me then later on claims that he was only joking.I don’t know how to fight this because I am also in major depression and dealing with it right now.he’s the only one who knows about it maybe as to why he treats me like this.I don’t know what to do because also we don’t have support systems for such cases here.At least not any that I’ve heard of.am jus so sad with no one to talk to.my family is busy struggling with domestic issues that I don’t want to add to.my world is just so cold.

    • Laura says:

      Hi there I read your comment and I’m in same boat . The man I’m with is older than me and when we got together we hit it off things were great we laughed got along so well . Then things slowly started changing he would always refer to me as bitch and I told him numerous times not to call me that and he would shove it off and say he was joking an continue to disrespect my wishes . Then he would lie to me about going to Hang it with his ex and came over one night trying to cover up hickies . All and all I trie to forget it an move forward with him . Then he lied about places e went and would ignore me all night long or ditch me and later I still moved in with him an now he insults me all the time and still says he is joking but it hurts my feelings and he insults the way I think how I do things and I am completely not myself anymore and I cry to him and he just gets mad calls me crazy paranoid and makes everything out to be my fault and e is so good I actually believe him at times I feel like I’m going insane . He can be really nice too and so I’m split I don’t know if he loves me or if he gets a kick driving me mental or if he even realizes he is doing this to me

    • casey says:

      Hi kiera I have been with a man on and off for 17 years and have 4 kids by him.This guy sounds terrible. It looks like he wants you 2 feel bad about yourself 2 destroy your self esteem 2 be happy he sounds miserable and is sick eneogh to joke when he makes you feel bad .I have a similar problem with my kids father who is ten years older than me and im 37.You seem so young and so beautiful.These thoughtless men most of the time i have seen dont change.They look for an opportunity 2 hurt a woman 2 keep them in further depression. Please know i understand from A woman point of view I feel pain because i know what its like for a guy 2 hurt me emotional and laugh or pretend its a joke.This is serious and can affect your emotional health.This guy sounds useless not good at all

    • Angela says:

      I have been going through the same thing…the pain was too much. I couldn’t take it anymore so I broke it off. We love each other but I also have to protect myself. This is my only insurance that he can’t hurt, emotionally abuse, disrespect, take advantage of, and ignore my needs anymore. I felt instantly better for standing up for myself. Also if he really want to work on this, it will have to be at a safe distance before I can trust him with my heart again.

    • Beenthere Donethat says:

      He wants to CONTROL you by humiliating, manipulating and demeaning you. Such abuse often escalates to physical abuse and psychological manipulation. ‘Name calling’ is verbal and emotional ABUSE. Please muster your strength and courage and find a safe place to live where he cannot access you -even if it means moving far away. Good luck to you!

    • Melissa Pearsall says:

      You are not alone .be strong and love yourself .You can make good decisions.dont tell him everything cause Im sure he don’t tell you everything he does.you can get through this.you are beautiful and you will come through this.words do hurt and do what is going to invest and benefit your future.

    • G says:

      Im so sorry Keira. I know how it feels to.be depressed. I also that those who have never actually felt depressed dont understand what you actually go through in your mind. The sadness, emptyness, wanting to be alone, feeling like moving forward is pointless. He should not do this to you but help you with your illness. Your post is old but I hope he has stopped treatinf that way and things are better for you.

    • Honeykitz says:

      Get away from him who says cruel things, then laughs it off. He is a manipulator of the worst kind, and here is why: when you tell him that he has hurt you, he will make it seem as though you are crazy, because “you know I was only kidding.” This is called gas lighting, and it can make even a most secure person feel insecure. But not you–because now you know about it. The next time he speaks cruelly, tell him that what he said is cruel, that you won’t accept that sort of “humor,” and “That’s One.” The next time he does it, just say “That’s Two. One more time and you are out.” If he takes strike three, walk right out the door. Good luck. You deserve a great guy who makes you feel loved and wonderful, all of the time.

  18. Wendy says:

    Well me n my boyfriend been fighting for two days he calls me names but I know its not right I do everything for him

  19. Rich says:

    Sometimes someone can wind you up and you say stuff you regret. It’s true, you shouldn’t do it.
    I guess if one partner is behaving in a bad a selfish way that hurts the other and he/she gets hurt and angry and says stuff they regret then that’s one thing.
    If someone just abuses you without provocation and it’s not even an argument then you deserve better.
    I’ve been guilty of saying things I regret – but my friends say I’m an idiot for allowing that female partner to do what she does to me. Even so, I shouldn’t have said what I did. I think you have to look at the whole scenario, consider deeply how you feel and talk to someone close to you about it.

  20. Noname says:

    You have to understand the differences too.
    Saying “You are behaving like an idiot” or anything in that manner is not calling you an idiot, it is calling out your current way of thinking or acting to be idiotic.

    Wheter or not you agree with him/her is another question, but you have to learn to differ between “Emotional Abuse”/”Verbal Abuse” and just being a normal human being.

  21. Jennifer says:

    I would like advice… My boyfriend of a year and a half has been treating me very poorly. He cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship and I’m sure it’s happened multiple times since. He’s so protective over his phone. I wanna snoop but it’s wrong…. One of his female friends messaged me and was asking me questions like how do I knkw him yada yada yada…. I said I’m his gf who are you. She stated they had been talking for three years but couldn’t be together bc if the distance between them. She gets pissed when I post pics and fun things we do. He’s even blocked me on Twitter and Facebook bc of her. She’s been messaging me so I tell her what we do to piss her off. He’s not hers he’s mine. I think if they live each other they should be together… He stays on Facebook and i mean he lives on social media.
    He doesn’t do anything for me, he’s not affectionate with me, he doesn’t do nice things most boyfriend’s do and I spend lots and lots of money on him and his child. He hasn’t done shit for my kids. Not even for Christmas and I spent alot on his daughter.. His family loves me better than he does I think. I need advice to weather I should move on or try to fix this bc I do love him. Just a few weeks back he was late getting home and he said he had to meet a friend and let her borrow money. This friend is a woman he wants to be with but she won’t date him… I gotta confess before I go any farther I broke into his phone while he was sleeping bc I couldn’t take it anymore. What I saw was heartbreaking. The slut I mentioned earlier omg what he says to her I wish he said to me. He tells her he doesn’t live me and they will grow old together.. She lives 1000’s of miles away.. I saw she traveled to be with him and he said that it was worth the wait and if she moved close to him she would be his. It’s heart wrenching to see this shit. And the other woman he let borrow money he let her borrow $500.00 and that was almost his whole payday. He uses me to benefit his whores. He has no idea I knkw any of this and it’s hard to keep this to myself. He told this lady that he wanted her back a d what they used to have back. She didn’t reply bc she was using him for money I think. He tells me she’s just a friend but clearly I know better. Ok this weekend was really hard bc we had an argument and he called me a fatass and said he didn’t love me… Tonight he pushed me and tried to choke me. I’m afraid of him but I do love him. He’s quit having sex with me and he says it due to stress. I’ve always heard if ucaint getting it someone else is. Ohh yeah after almost two years he refuses to post our relationship on Facebook bc he says he wants our relationship to be between us. It’s obvious he had a girlfriend bc of the comments I put on his post but he probably tells his bitches he’s single and Im crazy. Plz someone give me advice on what I should do. Plz and thank you

  22. Fred says:

    I’ve been dating this woman for 4 months. Like all relationships, everything was wonderful until I pointed out some things and how she disappointed me. That’s when the insults started. Long story short, I’m done with her.

  23. irilis says:

    i have a boyfriend who is always insulting me,calling me a cheater while m not,he wants to control me,always wanting to know where i am and with who bt he dont tell me any of his and he dont provide for me

    • Lupe says:

      My boyfriends the same but he’s learning a little bit to check himself. He’d get mad cuz I would buy the new Jordan’s and we’d fight to the point my mom had to get involved. He would think I’m buying them to impress some other guy and then later say he did it because he didn’t want me getting scammed by buying fake Jordan’s. I still by my shoes I fact he doesnt live with me but we’re still trying to see if we can salvage 4yrs but it’s not looking good. What I’m saying to you is that if you know deep inside your not doing anything wrong, fight, fight with all your heart and soul but don’t let him change you, you aren’t doing nothing wrong. That’s how I see it I go out with my mom or I buy whatever I want knowing that when he’ll find out we might get into in a big argument, and it hurts to think that but if you give in to him he’ll start feeling like he has a point and soon everything he says will be right. I hope God can give you strength and take care

    • Melissa Pearsall says:

      You are not alone !!!I can relate!

    • Tabitha says:

      I feel ya on that one

  24. Sophie says:

    Sounds like my ex boyfriend Igor. The worst. I promise you he is insecure and wants to dominate, no good

  25. […] Emotional abuse is much more than your partner calling you fat, ugly, or stupid. While yes, these things are definitely emotional abuse, there are other forms of emotional abuse that your partner may sneak in without you realizing it. The worst part about this is that if your partner is an emotional abuser, they could be abusing you on a daily basis with these things. All this will do is lower your self-confidence and make you feel terrible about yourself. It can even cause you to suffer from depression without really knowing why. […]

  26. Morris says:

    Why is my wife calling me useless. That word has made me fel very bad and touching just because i didn’t help him at night when the babie was crying. And the other days i do help i pay all the bills and everything in the house pluse paying the house girl.and she is working and paid well. And she cals me useless is that right am very despointed even now am not talking to even i don’t fel like eating in that house what can i do

  27. Don't want to say says:

    Hi my boyfriend mentally abusing me. I’ve been with him for 15 years and everytI me I leave he crys and says he is going to kill himself so I come back everything is fine for a couple of months and right back to the same thing I really don’t think he loves me and I want to leave this state so I don’t have to come back here but we got a child together please will someone help with me get out of the state

  28. lisa says:

    I would like to become friends with others that have been going through this because I go through this almost everyday and it just tears me to shreds sometimes i feel worthless because of it

    • Anita says:

      Im going through the same , my boyfriend claims to love me and i believe him but not so much when he gets mad and irritable at me for the tiny things i do , like if i say no to doing something for him , or if i dont do as he says , or just not agreeing with him and having a difference in opinion triggers him.

      I have anxiety and it takes allot of paitence to deal with me , i require allot of reasurance , and when i want it he just gets angry when i get doubts and he just says what i feel is true sense “i dont believe him anyways ” as he says, which isnt the case .

      Several things set him off , and i feel like its all my fault . I love him so much . Id do about anything for him .

    • April says:

      Lisa,

      So funny your timing. I am in the process of trying to leave my abuser after 2 plus years of his constant abuse. I have some stories I could tell you my friend, and it would be great to have someone to share this all with as I am very alone here. Please reach out.

      Best wishes,

      April

    • Kay says:

      I’m in need of support from women going through this. I’ve been with my sons father almost 5 years, and we live with his parents( living hell for me because I disagree with the way they think and because recently his mom and I got into a physical fight, and I’m still living here) I live here because I enrolled my 4 yr old in a school very close to us. My boyfriend calls me names all the time and it really hurts me. So much that my self esteem has lowered, and before him I was a very confident woman. We’re both 24. This morning he was using a machine to blow trash away from the floors and he told me not to pick it up with a broom and duster, but I did because I didn’t want him to throw it in the alley. So he got very upset because I did that. And I wondered to myself is that a valid reason to get so angry with me???? So I stayed outside to analyze it and came inside to hug him, and he gave me the most stupid look and started yelling because I didn’t listen to him. He gets mad over anything!!!!! And when he’s not mad he’s so nice and somewhat loving. He buys me anything… but his anger gets out of control sometimes and then he tells me to leave with my mom or dad. I ignore it because I don’t wanna leave for the spur of the moment. I don’t wanna live in a negative environment for myself and my son. This family has issues mentally and they precieve life differently than I do. My parents want me to live with them because they are looking out for us but I can’t find the courage to leave because I tried that before and I ended up back with him in his parents house. I only live here because I’m getting my college education( I have my aa in psychology) and I want a Ba so I have better opportunities and because my sons school is really close by. but I can’t stand being treated like shit all the time. I feel like it’s taking a toll on my health…. I have anxiety and I feel depressed at times. Fighting is so toxic I’m tired of it

  29. john says:

    My girlfriend calls me names constantly and im tired of it and she would insult me to the point where i would feel like im nothing and useless but that usually happens when shes angry and sometimes i doubt if she loves me or what. I believe that if someone loves you is not meant to say such hurtful things and claim to love you in the end.

    • Chelsea says:

      Trust me John, she doesn’t. I just went through this and I can honestly say it is one of the hardest things in the world. I’m super sorry that you have to experience it too. My suggestion? Break it off IMMEDIATELY. She doesn’t respect you and never will. It’s more a reflection on her character than it is on yours. Just remember that. Take care and love to you. <3

  30. brit says:

    im 21 and been with my.boyfriend for 4yrs and we are now expecting our first baby together his second my first and i know it can be stressful but it was bad to begin with our relationship was built on a lie and a suppose to be one night stand . i get called a bitch a stupid mf when ever he gets mad whether it be a fight between us or just something made him mad and i try and help or im not doing something the way he wantts me to or im to slow . it makes me nervous and i freeze up all i wanna do is cry and i dont wanna raise my daughter in this but i love him so much . and recently i had an old high school friend contact me and ask how i was doing and he told me to leave that he will help me raise my daughter that o should leave before the baby gets here . mind you i work he doesnt but my friend works goes to college and has a car . i dont know what to do . i want whats best for my daughter but im stuck. i need advice/help.

  31. Deb says:

    I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 10 years. Im 54 and hes 52 In the past year when he gets mad he calls me all kinds of nasty names. Its so hurtful. Names like stupid B****,Fing idiot, dumb a** and the list goes on. I was abused as a child by my stepmother and ran away at age 15.When he treats me like that it brings back all them memories as well. Anyhow the next day when we wake he is back to calling me baby ect. He acts as tho the night before never happened. when I try and talk about it he starts getting all mad and says you want to keep it going. Like I’m suppose to just wash the hurt away but I cant. Ive talked to him ask him how can he talk to me like that but says he loves me. I cant work. We both own the land and home its in both names. I feel so stuck, very sad. Its ALWAYS my fault in his opinion. I’m lost feeling so depressed. I just want to feel loved.

    • Victoria says:

      My situation is very similar. I’m 51 next week and he is 54. This the 2nd time round for both of us, but I still have two of my children with me. I knew him for 10 years before we moved in together 2 yrs ago. Into his house. his ex martial home. the home his kids were born in. NOT A GREAT IDEA!
      My first husband passed away at age 32 and I haven’t had the best trip up grief street.
      My partner now, calls me names. Filth, lowlife, dumb ass, wish he never met me, prostitutes are a better option, hes wasted his life knowing me, and then the other night he said no wonder my first husband commit suicide. Apparently I drove him to it, calling him a poor young fellow with a bitch like me.
      I’m a strong woman but I’m scared of facing the wide world alone for the rest of my life. I’m financially ok and can afford a place for me and my girls and I do book house inspections for the first 3 days, then I melt and feel I should make it right even tho he hasn’t spoken to me all this time. Its like I’m looking into missing him before I even leave. Its always my fault and I don’t look forward to making things right as I have to appologise for things I never did or said. Then I feel resentful and I dislike myself for not moving out. and the cycle starts again. I’m not saying I’m perfect and I’m pretty sure I say things that are sometimes alittle silly. Mostly with my sense of humour. He seems to be able to say anything he likes and I just have to take it. His way or the highway, he says HELP ME!

    • Mb2 says:

      Hi Deb,
      I’m in the same kind of situation now. He calls me names, usually when he’s had a long night of drinking, and then will pretend it never happened. He has literally called me a stupid b***h a c**t, and has said I was “unattractive” and to “shut my fat face up.” The next morning when I bring up the hurt he yells and me and tells me I always want to drag on arguments and to just let it go. Please tell me what you did with your situation. Like you, I feel trapped.

    • Jen says:

      Hi Deb, I’m going through exactly the same emotional abuse as you. I get blamed for everything. When I defend myself I get called a c**t. We have two very young children. I’m leaving this toxic environment tomorrow with my babies. I can’t tell him, as when I did try discuss separating before, he went nuts and rang my Mam and abused her too verbally also.

    • Melissa Pearsall says:

      You need a job .build your own bank account.tell him,your paying a bill for of some sort.take that money out of the bank and put it into a savings account with no one name on it.

    • Mae says:

      I feel your pain…I.ve been married for 14 years and since the 10th year rolled around he started to get really angry at everything I approached him with…every thing he says has the word f’ng in front of it when he is describing me and this is extremely painful because I came from a broken home that was very difsfuntional. We have 2 kids tween and teen, and it hurts even more because he doesn’t filter his anger toward me in front of the kids. I feel stuck. This house is not a home without love. I want to leave but I think of the pain and hurt this will cause my kids and I stop. I wish so desperately for a chance in him that is tender hearted and loving…not sure what to do either….very sad..just wanted to write and say your not alone. Here’s hoping to a better life….life is to short to live in bondage.

    • Misty says:

      I am going through something like this. I feel like i can’t have feelings or opinions on anything. If I try to stay calm and talk to him about how i feel he just tells me to shut up and if I mention it again he is done with me. I feel so low and unwanted that i stay depressed. I keep praying that I will meet someone new who will give me the courage to leave him but how could that happen? I am so beat down and sad i can’t even look at anyone or even smile. My friends have all left me because they can’t stand watching him treat me this way. I feel so alone and so broken and sadly he is all I have left. Today he broke up with me because I was hungry and i wanted to go get food. His anger was because I didn’t give him and exact time i would be back. I know he will come back later and i will forgive him and blame myself like i always do. I don’t know how to stop myself 🙁 You can’t help who you love….

  32. Kayla says:

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year and 3 months and in the beginning we were in that honeymoon phase for the longest time. Anyhow for about 6 months now, every single time I try to explain the way I feel, he gets mad or irritated and would start saying I’m stupid, that I’m dumb for saying that, and to just shut the **** up. My friends have been telling me that I’m in a toxic relationship for as long as I can remember, and to be honest with you I’ve barely realized myself..

    • Angela says:

      I have been going through the same thing…the pain was too much. I couldn’t take it anymore so I broke it off. We love each other but I also have to protect myself. This is my only insurance that he can’t hurt, emotionally abuse, disrespect, take advantage of, and ignore my needs anymore. I felt instantly better for standing up for myself. Also, if he really wants to work on this, it will have to be at a safe distance before I can trust him with my heart again.

    • kelly says:

      i am in the same thing, he turns every single one of our problems on me. he calls me mean names and makes me feel like dirt. but i cant talk to him about it because he wont listen, but i cannt leave him, i love him and dont want to see him with anyone else.

  33. Adriana says:

    Hi, I’ve been with the same guy for almost 4 years and we live together with his parents yes we are young im only 18 but hes all I have. I dont have no family or friends. When he gets mad at me and thats often he tends to call me names like a bitch and a retard and so on. This has been since we hit our 2nd year. We have broken up alot but still strong. Im unhappy and I dont know what to do. I dont want to ise him for a place to live so thats out of why im still with him. I cant figure it oit why I cant end things. I am very clost to his family and friends and it would hurt to leave them but what do I do. I feel like all mine and his relationship is, is emotional and some verbal abuse what do I do?

    • Lupe says:

      Hey I’m 24 yrs old and I’ve been with my man for 4 years too. He’s 22 yrs old and I think that has a lot to do with how he is. Not to mention he had bad experiences with women all his life including his mother who wasn’t really there for him. I know exactly what all you ladies are feeling and I hope God hears you guys. I was depressed for a while too I even had a miscarriage with my man and still calls me really ******* names. I feel dumb every time I take him back because I fool myself that he’ll change but it’s been four years and he hasn’t. He thinks I’ve cheated on him with his freinds his godfather even my own fathers workers and mechanics it’s ridiculous. But anyways he doesn’t live with me anymore I have a pretty tight knitted family. Anyways my heart goes out to all you ladies and just keep your heads up and remember God won’t put an obstacle you can’t overcome. I find myself thinking wether I should just call it quits but I don’t know why I keep thinking he’ll change. I’ve nevered cheated on him I love him with all my heart and soul but he doesn’t trust me he always thinking I’m hoeing around and I know I’m a good woman I’m better than this. my father showed me what a man suppose to act like. I’m lost I go to church and just ask God to do whatever has to be done even if it’ll hurt me.

    • Robin says:

      Honey you are young, you have your whole wonderful life to live. You should start off by enrolling yourself in some educational classes. And get a little job and seek out some help from social services. They can help you get a little apartment of your own. Then he will no your not gonna put up with his crap. Please dont allow this to be your life. Dont allow any man or person to treat you with such disrespect. Love yourself. They will keep doing what there doing if you allow it togo on. With all my love Robin D.

    • Name says:

      I feel you on the no family or friends thing… I have no family, no friends, no car, no phone, no job, my friends are the cashiers in stores when I go outside to buy stuff.

    • hannah says:

      it`s very painful to be verbally abused, i`m in the same situation. all I`m doing is praying to pass this feeling

  34. stephanie says:

    All ladies here, you should leave those worthless men in your life as soon as possible! They try to make you feel bad because they are worthless and will never be able to love. They can only give you what they have inside and that is all negative. You cannot change them or help them. Leave them before they ruin you, it’s better to be alone than in bad company. You will see that you will get your happiness and strength back being alone. And you will meet someone a million times better. Focus on yourself!

  35. Chloe says:

    Hello everyone I’m in need of help. I’m an 18 year old female my partner is 21. I’ve been with him for a couple of years. He is the only person to make me feel so happy and amazing yet the only person who can really truly hurt me. It’s not just verbal it’s physical and emotional. I have scars on my body from previous times he’s hurt me. Had numerous bruises and black eyes and he says the most horrible things to me regularly I really don’t know what to do. I love him and I can’t let go. We always find a way back to eachother no matter what’s happened previously. It’s a vicious cycle and I can’t get out something in me just won’t let me leave. he is amazing when he’s nice, so sweet and lovely and thoughtful but when it’s bad it’s really bad. when it’s physical I fight back, does this mean I’m abusive to? I know he loves me and I love him. Why are we doing this to eachother can someone please help and tell me what to do

  36. Karabo says:

    I’m also in a relationship for 2 and a half years now he also colls me names n I’m emotional about that always. I told my self that it will pass but it doesn’t… I’m not afraid to loss him cause hes the one who’s making me loose the love I have for hom

    • ASJ says:

      Hi. So I’m going to tell you my story. I met this guy, he is a lawyer, handsome, successful and a smart man, as soon as I met him, we started dating, 10 months later, we decided to get married, he was the perfect guy, everybody loved him, he promised me the moon, the stars and the sun. BAd MISTAKE, once we got married he showed me his real face, he was a compulsive lier, everything he said was a lie, he came from an abusive family, where his father hit his mom and she thought it was normal and that god was going to punish him for that. The first month my ex husband didn’t come home, he stayed out partying with his friends without even answering his phone and the only time he answered was to insult me, after that, things only got worse, he called me a bitch, a slut, he started saying things as **** off and if he was drunk it was worst, he started pushing me and graving me by my arms really hard, I always had my arms with bruises after a party, he was always controlling me and it got to a point that he thought I was Always cheating on him, he used to look at my text messages, fb, emails while I was sleeping, and then I got mad and wanted to leave him because I was not happy but he said that he loved me and that he was sorry and promised to change so I believed him and stayed with him. I knew I deserved better than that but I also thought that he loved me and that because he didn’t want to loose me he was going to change. Well, long story short, it only got worst, it got to a point where verbal abuse got physical and that day was the day that I decided to leave him, I never thought that he would actually hit me, even one time I asked him and he said that he would never do that. Well, now in my expirience, people like that will never change and you can’t be their saviors, if he is verbally abusing you, it will get physical at some point, as if been verbally abused isn’t bad enough.
      So, if You go to the internet and read forums of people going through the same, because you are ashamed of telling it to someone and you don’t want them to hate you, if you are doing this, it’s because you know you have to leave him and somehow you are trying to find a reason to stick to him. My advice RUN, run before you end up with a black eye and a broken lip. Believe me, people like that never change, they can promise you to go to psychologists, stop drinking, etc. It will only get better until they regain control, once they have it again, you’ll be suffering once more. How long did i stay? I stayed for 6 months! I’m glad I left when I was still strong and still believed in myself, he couldn’t break me, I didn’t stay for that to happen!

  37. Karabo says:

    I think we better off without them cause all they do the abuse us… We all don’t deserve bad things if they love us they have to respect, love, adore etc…

  38. Tjen says:

    I’m in the same situation.
    I am with this guy for 9 years, I have been stupid accepting this relationship.
    He is verbally abusing me for ages, before I wouldn’t understand because English isn’t my first language, then he would even humiliated me in my own language.
    Some minutes ago we fought, then he flipped… He called me bit.h many times, psycho, and kept insulting, I don’t insult him, I actually said that B or psycho is his mother or sister, then he came to me and said “you ugly old lady”. I’m 4 years older than him, when he really wants to hurt me, he refers to my age.
    I told him to leave my apartment, he tells me to leave and refuses to leave.

    I can’t live like that anymore, I have no more energy in my body to do so.
    He doesn’t care what he says.
    I was reading somewhere else that “they forget or simply say that didn’t mean it” how many times he said “I was angry at you that’s the reason I said so”
    I’m actually good looking woman, but I never feel so, everywhere people say that to me, he never say and as soon as we start fighting, he says how ugly I am.

    I just want to sleep and wake up in a better situation, I’m sure that this relationship is about to end.

    • Chelsea says:

      I am so sorry. *hugs*. I am going through the same thing and I’m just going to tell you right now, you are beautiful, strong and you sound kind. You don’t deserve this kind of treatment at all. I hope you can find the means and the courage to leave this man. He sounds very similar to my ex. Let me repeat. You don’t deserve this and never will. Sending love and happy thoughts your way. I hope you get out of this.

    • Trish says:

      I am in the same situation. I am 29 and have 4 kids with him. He calls me ugly, stupid, nobody will ever want me or ever take me serious, hoe, bitch, he talks about my mom and dad. This evening it was the same name calling and he spit in my face three times, I walked past him and he threw his juice all over me and kmocked my plate of food all over the floor. He called another girl he was in a relationship with prior to us getting back together a couple months ago. He did his in front of me to tell her how much he loves her and only uses me.

      I was so hurt by this. I asked him to leave for hours, finally he got in the car, I load my kids up and while driving on the highway grabs the steering wheel and tried making me lose control. I was so Hurt n couldn’t stop crying that he would risk my kids lives like that. He kept saying “iknow what I’m doing you were not going to crash” ..I stopped a few feet before a pole.

      I am so tired of this. He use to hit me years ago, he stopped, and now he’s back to his abusive ways and feel it will get worse. I want out. I fall so weak for him because when it’s good….It’s really good! sweet, sensitive, cooks for us, massages me, and always telling me how much he loves me…..But when it’s bad it’s really bad…. It’s constant name calling and mental abuse when he’s mad… I can ask a simple question and he gets irritated by me so easily and acts like this.

      I have been ignoring his calls but I don’t know how long I can keep up with the ignoring. I want to be happy and enjoy life again, Look in the mirror and feel pretty again, I want my confidence and sanity back. But I love him so much that it’s so hard to not give in. I don’t think I know how to move on.

  39. Clinton says:

    I’m a male and my fiance of 5years out of the blue will start calling me useless etc even going as far as to say I’m going to turn out to be a murderer? ??? This blew my socks off . I ask myself why is she with me? I run after her drop my work and commitments to be told off by her saying I didn’t have to do it.
    The insults carry on to the point where I break and slap her. This isn’t me nor is it who I want to become. I try to leave then she comes at me with im taking the easy way out. It’s not a easy way out to leave someone you love and want to grow old with in order to keep from losing the plot.
    Verbal abuse has and does hurt especially from your partner. Iv tried buying her nice things when she asks I go out of my way to get it. Only to get more insults and I didn’t say you must do it. Honestly a thank you is all I would like to hear.
    I feel like I’m becoming a monster for slapping her and just need to get out to prevent further abuse from me. Other problem is I leave and she will constantly text me with more insults and accusations. Then later wants to work things out.
    I’m tired I just can’t anymore I want a happy life without this drama. Tonight she will constantly go at me and in the morning cry because I refuse to take her to work. I don’t want to sit in the car for 2hrs while she carrys on insulting me. I just dont know anymore its draining

  40. Ana Otero says:

    I am in the same situation as you but i live in his house. I am afraid to live myself. I dont have a place to go. I am 63 and he is 57.we been together for 14 years. All these years he has been abusing be verbal. Help i dont know what to do.

  41. Princes mate Escanuela says:

    I have the same problem, I am a Filipino he is Nepalese. We both are in UAE. Its difficult to ask help. Here is very strict country. We may both go jail and I cannot afford that now, from my side I still have financial responsibilities back home in the Philippines. I cant leave UAE in this time. He is abusing me too much. I am very tired emotionally, psychologically and physically. My personal finances is also affected greatly because of him. I still have feelings for him, but I am too scared and traumatized from what I am experiencing from him that I am willing to forget about that love. But How? I am too scared of him now, I do not have close friends and relatives in this foreign country. And yes I am too ashamed to admit I am victim of Domestic abuse. I cannot tell anyone.

  42. Louloy says:

    All I can say to all you ladies is “take care of you” from pretty woman lol: I moved Friday m a good job clear across the country for my mom and family because she wanted t he close to everything be when I knew they would take advantage (long story but took all her $ after our father died and left her with zero after our father died). Family screwed me over maxing my credit cards) so I moved in with be a couple hours away. He is worse than my family and the m about to leave him because he calls me names and is disrespectful. My fam has screwed me but he doesn’t deserve a good woman who has been trying to make it work if he continues (I’ve oer him for 5 months).

  43. life says:

    I am in a horrible position I’m also the man in this 13 year relationship. I have been cheated on by this woman a confirmed 2 times and I have many suspicions of other times. Regardless of the cheating she had always been extremely disrespectful but confronted she turns it around on me because I don’t stand for it at all I always tell the truth and she always turns it around. This time around I recently ended it thru n thru but the abuse does not stop she is so rude and wants to intentionally hurt me mentally and verbally over the fact that I proved that she is a cheater herself and the liar. She can not handle the fact that it had been hey this whole time and she does not stop disrespecting me in every way imaginable. I need help not from her but from myself I am afraid that I will snap she is unrelenting I do not acknowledge her or want anything to do with her but she continues to come at me hard. I have never hurt her ever and I just got us a new place so I’m stuck with no idea on what I should do. I feel like I am dieing a little with every insult. I am losing control I am in fear of her safety she is mentally unstable in many ways from emotional memory loss and heavy drug use if anyone can help please let me know because I have lost everyone in my life over this person. I’ll keep an eye on this site

  44. Michelle says:

    i dated someone last year who wrote me a 15-text essay when we broke up about how “horrible” I am. He went as far as to call me a demon! that stung a lot… until I read this article, I thought my reactions to his words were me just trying to “better” myself (needless to say, that essay he wrote me made me self-conscious and uncomfortable with myself in many deep ways.) Well, now I’m thinking EFF HIM! I’m now thinking that him having been abused throughout his childhood taught him to be abusive; and that any woman who gets with him will eventually get this treatment… I’m finally back to thinking it’s not me… it IS him! So yes, EFF HIM! Yes!!!

  45. SM says:

    Is he aware that he’s treating me like this?

  46. DANIELLE PIERRE LOUIS says:

    I made a mistake and let this guy move in with me, after two months of knowing him. In the beginning it was great with me and my two sons. until 6 months later he start calling me whore the B word whenever we have an argument. He call my son’s lil a**holes. I tell him to get out of my house when? He keep on saying soon but still there. He acts like a kid too, he has some unusual obsession for video games, and he pay nothing in that house. I make poor choices 🙁

  47. April says:

    I have a boyfriend I been dating for 6 in a half years. It all started fine but as the years fly the relationship flew through the window. Last night he pull up by his mom to pick me & my kids up. As soon as I got inside the car he call me names in front my kids. I never responded I just said why you acting like this I don’t want to argue with you. He still didn’t stop until we made it home. I get emotional;verbal&physical abuse. I don’t know how much I could take. I want out of this relationship

  48. Anonymous says:

    Ive been woth my boyfriend for e years now. And my boyfriend is so horrible to mme. First it started out with some name calling but nothing big. Then when i told him all my secerts and were together for a year he started to use my past against me. I lost both my parents after a year being witg him. I had no place to go. He let me live with him. And he seemed so happy i was. For about 6 months he was totally into it. Then name calling came up agaon especially when i found out he was sending flirtatious msgs to girls. And then he said he would sell drugs for sex. I confronted him. And he denyed until i showed him the pictures i found. I tryed to forgive him but then he started calling me a whore, skank, ugly, fat, mcfatty just like every mean name you could think of. And maybe two hours later and would say sorry i was just mad. But says this over and over again. For 2 years he has been hurting me mentally. After the 2 year he started hurting me physcally. The first time he pushed my down a gravally ditch… Ill never forget that day. I dont know what to do. Sense its been so long being treated like this i just feel like i deserve it. I have no family or friends. All my friends left me because of him harrassing them… I feel alone…

  49. Cassie says:

    My boyfriend of over 3 years has been putting me down a lot here recently, or at least, I’ve just starting noticing it more here lately. It’s mostly when he gets mad. He calls me things like stupid c***, or a f***ing b****. Sometimes he tells me woth great detail about how much he hates my personality and attitude even though he knows I’ve been really depressed here lately and can’t help it all the time. He blames me for everything it seems like… I used to be able to put up with it, but now I just believe him… I never feel like I can do the right thing or ever be good enough and it sucks because I love him so much… He’s all I have right now… I don’t know what to do…

  50. C says:

    I guess I’d just like an outsiders perspective on this. My boyfriend and I have been together over a year, he’s rough around the edges with everyone so I knew this already. A couple of things, we were setting up a tent for camping, I always have trouble with it, he yelled at me “YOU’VE DONE THIS BEFORE”, and I only did it once…and it just makes my heart pound and makes me so nervous that I’m shaking and only do worse to where he gets frustrated. He called me an ignorant bitch on another occasion for really no good reason. He said something like “use your brain for once,” for also no good reason. One of the worst was, his parents and I were all having lunch and they asked him if I was going on a family trip with them in 3 months, and he responded, “I don’t know, I could dump her tomorrow!” Even his mom said wow that’s nice. It was highly embarrassing. I asked him about it, he said no I don’t want to dump you tomorrow, but I could! Any time I bring up any of these things, he says I’m too sensitive. While I stay quiet most of the time I know he’s wrong. And sure I have my ditzy moments but I know I’m not an ignorant bitch, or any of the other crap he’s said. I don’t know if it’s worth staying with him but I just feel stuck and I don’t know why.

  51. Tebogo says:

    i’m from south Africa, my boyfriend calls me things like slut, bitch, rubbish, accuses me of cheating and goes through my phone all the time. he does not allow me to take my friend’s phone calls, he answers my phone and insult my friends family or whoever is trying to reach me. he would say something mean and tell me that he was only joking later. He once answered my phone and insulted my son’s driver and he did not wanna transport my son anymore. He often tells me that i’m disrespecting him when i try to confront him. he say the meanest things and tell me to women up and stop crying. He tells me that there are many women out there and it would not take him even an hour to find one. when we go out im not supposed to greet anyone or stop and say hi to my friends, if i do there is gonna be a big fight. he tells me about his exes and how they never disrespected him like i do and how most of them still wants him back. He cheated before and i forgave him.he puts me down and tells me that i know nothing about life or makes a silly face when i try to comment on things like politics.he would threaten to throw me out during midnight and when i tell him i don’t like what he says/ do. he would say mean things and then want sex after that if i can’t sleep with him he would ask me if he should go and sleep with someone else instead. that man hurts me and tells me that he loves me immediately. after i lost my mom he was there, and if i tell him that i wanna do something he would say go for it, he only gets angry if i do something without his knowledge. h he supports me and its confusing because he is so mean and cold sometimes and he is all i have right now. i love him and i don’t wanna loose him. he promises to change but when he gets angry he starts again even if i’m not the one who made him angry

  52. El says:

    Not sure how I put this into picture. So I was generally a happy person until a year ago. I am not sure what caused me into all this mood and depression if u call it. Basically my life has been so different from the past. I was really happy carefree and outgoing person. But lately I have changed to very moody and depress and scared. I keep asking myself something is not right with me. Also, I do have a girlfriend. Seems like I don’t. Its like a good and bad relationship. I am not sure what kept us going and me going. When its good its really good but when its bad totally disaster. Writing this is maybe the worst decision because I might get bash. So could not tell and sick of telling my friends because they have warned me multiple times. So my relationship with my girlfriend was a complicated one. She kept asking me to marry her but then she would yell and dumped me when shes angry with things or me. I feel like my whole life I owe her. My decision is mostly based on her. I feel like I was scared of her as she has anger problem. And I don’t like dealing with that. She would call me names. So I just recently graduated from university. She did a lot of things to deceive my mind and my mom called that she brainwashed me. Thinking it back I kind of agree with that. So I was looking for a job in England and she told me to go to America and that she said I should wait till I look for jobs in America when I Marry her. Then when I am not working she would call me stupid useless bitch. Which made me feel typically down and not good about myself. This energy has really drained me a lot. Feels like I should move on before it s too late. Life has just begun. And she would argue and fight with me and break up with me. So I stopped talking to her and thinking that’s it. And she would call back and beg. You know? I am not blaming anyone in this relationship or anyone. I feel like im responsible for myself. But I just feel like shes really killing me slowly and destroying my future and life. HOW? Let me say this. My friends all tell me im different because I used to be happy calm and not irritated. But recently I have been feeling so much anxiety wont lie she gave me anxiety. Shes 29 and im 24. Shes treats me like she treats her client. Just so u know shes a social worker and she yells at parents. She keeps saying im older than u I have more experience and I know what loves means. She told me I don’t know what love means. Most the time when she yells at me I would stay quiet. And she would say that I don’t talk like a human. And when I finally speak up when its too much she would f yell at me till I can no longer stand it. Also, I went to two counselor both of them say that shes abusing me. Which is true. I told her shes abused me emotionally before and we stopped arguing for a while. She kept telling how all the problem is me me me me me . And her friend was saying to her what about you ?? I just felt so confused every time for about a year. And now I feel like tho I made so much mistake I feel theres a light coming to get me. That ill be ok again. Things had gone so complicated that I no longer know whats the right thing to do. Also, she wanted to know where I am and what im doing all the time . And when im doing something or spending time with family or others she would break up with me or yell at me. And then she would say I don’t make time for her . When I changed all my time for her she would instead spend her time on video games and go out. And I would not say anything. Not sure why I could not end things?
    To add on, She would break things and also tells my mom don’t love me. And she would also yell at her mom like it was the end of the world.

  53. Tabatha says:

    Ok I don’t know Ifor I’m doing tbos right or even if o can but Idk what to do. Ok my mom died almost four years ago and I cheated on my man he become lazy sleep all day etc (still no job) anyways well I was lonely and cheated well my boyfriend took me back this year and I have been trying to heal us well every day he is calling me names blames everything on me control me and he says he loves me but he don’t act like it. Am I being emotionally and verbally abused? And we fight all the time I’m always messing up he dobt belive in making mistakes he says my tryst aren’t anything. I cry every night I beg for his loverall but I feel hated by him and he leaves me once a week to teach me a lesson

  54. Kalyn says:

    I’ve been with my bf for 7months and it’s been hell 95% of the time…..I get called stupid,idiot and hurtful more words plus my kid’s have been too,what should I do

  55. Sarah says:

    I never done this before I have this man who says all these men words but sometimes even he around his buddies they say hey look at me I am your girlfriend I laugh but inside I just like too cry so bad it hurts they say wow men she takes like a champ

  56. Cathy says:

    Ive been in a relationship for 11 years and I have 4 kids with him. Every day since I have been with him has been a rollercoaster. I’ve been called stupid, useless, retarded, bitch, whore,fat. Ive been told to shut ***** up that he’s tye the man of the house and I don’t have rights to speak up even though I try to defend myself I always end up crying and feeling hurt . I’ve been told that I’m lazy and don’t do shit that he works hard and he’s an alcoholic and he’s very aggressive and mean. He’s always mad and comes home whatever time he wants saying he works late but it’s not true. He fights with me every single day in the morning and and in the night when he gets home from work. I always have to have dinner ready when he gets home from work or he will say what do I do all day and that I don’t do shit. And that I’m not good for nothing. I take care of my baby he is 1 year and 2 months. And I try and straighten up a little but it’s hard when you have a baby but he just doesn’t care he calls me crazy because I take an anti-depressant pill
    and he says I dress sloppy and he looks at other women and he even cheats on me but denies it. I just been through so much with him I hate him and every time I try to leave he’s begging me to stay that why am I doing this to him why would I take his kids away and he will make me feel bad that I would just stay and keep taking all his shit. Every day I cry and every day I say it will get better but it just never does. Anyone have any suggestions?

  57. Manda says:

    I have been with my bf for 6 years. He is very manipulating and emotionslly,financially, and verbally abusive. He always calls me a fatass bitch,brings things up about my past family issues about how my dad is back in my life and how my son’s father used to beat me. He tells me that I’m such a fatass and he is disgusted and embarrassed to be with me. He constantly kicks me and my son out knowing we have no where to go. He gets very physical sometimes. I’m always scared. I never know what his mood is going to be like from one min to the next. I feel so stupid but I can’t leave he always makes me feel bad. I think I need help. Or counseling. Idk what to do. I’m scared.

  58. Rylee says:

    My boyfriend of two years has been calling me “actually” stupid and retarded constantly, among many other hateful names, for some time now. My attention and memory have seriously depleted and I can’t justify myself whatsoever. I’ve been seeing a side of him that makes me nervous and scared for myself and our relationship. He has told me multiple times that he wishes something would just smash me over the head a couple times to get through to me that I’m a retard and that I need to stop saying stupid sh*t. I don’t know what to do but I can’t handle his words. I ask him to tell me what I can do to improve myself and then he says I need to just live my life and be happy, to stop thinking about everything so hard all of the time and that I don’t need to be so overwhelmed with stress that I’m literally stuck staring at the ceiling, stuck in my head..
    Today we had a huge, awful fight. It started because last night, I said whatever to him going to the club with his lady friends from work and his best friend. Then, this afternoon, after cuddling and loving each other and sleeping in, he brought up clubbing and I said “I don’t really want you to go” and I was sad and stuck in my thoughts. He knows I don’t like him going because I hate all of the half-naked, ratchet women that go there to get everyone’s attention. Him and I went together for our first time with some of his friends on his birthday and I honestly hated it.. Too many people that don’t care where they’re walking and too provocative for people in a relationship. But he loved it. I don’t understand it.
    Anyways, I reminded him of how I’m not a fan of him putting himself in that situation, and right off the bat: “why didn’t you tell me that last night then, before you agreed, you idiot?”
    I don’t remember the in between because I have a terrible memory. My lack of remembrance is seriously ruining my life. I’m so dumb that I don’t even understand what I’m doing wrong and my life is passing by. Almost every day is “ruined” or all “wasted time” because apparently I always waste time and I’m useless and lazy. Worthless. (I work full time at a Petro Canada gas station and he just quit his job at Safeway. He’s not jumping up and down to find a job and we need to move into a different place. I don’t know how I’ll be able to hold us up.)
    The fight continued into him shoving me backwards about 6-8 times, telling me I’ve ruined us and everything else, then said he wishes he could *BLAM*BLAM* (full force throws whole arm at my head area and stops before it hits me, two times), and hits my arm/side with the laptop his dad bought for me. I told him I’m calling the cops, and he ran for my phone right away and didn’t give it back to me until he knew I had calmed down and wouldn’t get him in trouble. After I threatened to call the police, he told me no one has ever enraged him so much to make him want to kill them. He said I’m a waste and he doesn’t care if he had to kill me because he would just go to jail and keep living.
    All of this while having a tantrum. He was literally jumping up and down, vibrating, freaking out when I told him he’s out of my house and I’m packing his sh*t.
    I don’t have anyone to talk to because I detached from all of my old (bad) friends. I hang out with him and his friends whenever I’m home and they’re over, I consider his good friends my friends as well. But I can’t talk to them. I also can’t talk to my family because I don’t want them to hate my boyfriend and I don’t want them to worry about me or ask a bunch of questions.
    I haven’t told anyone about this before.. And it’s my whole life. How depressing.
    Home he’ll be, in probably an hour, from the club. And we’ll just continue living the way we are. I wish there were an end in sight. An end to something, anyways.

  59. Ken says:

    I was with this girl for a short time. I soon saw it and stood up for myself. It is a sad thing that she does not understand why I started to refuse to offer help directly. When she was in good mood it was amazing. But soon directly the insulting started again. Retard, asshole, stupid, that i dont care for her, emotional abusing. Telling me if I like her to give 100 euro. I do understand she is really sick ,but aint golden ticket to have bad personality. Few days ago was my point reached when after 2 days of blaming me she asked me to help her, she didnt feel good. I told her if she was for real, that all these bad insults from her if she understood that i do not work that well. So in the end ifollowed my heart again, went by bike through snow for 14 km with stuff for her. She didnt open at all. I waited half hour,worried, rang doorbell several times, yelled from outside. After 30 min she opens window and tells me that she wont let me in. After that I got insulted again I do not care for her. It s painfull but I need to cut it. And a shame.

  60. Lynette says:

    Hi my name is Lynette im 21 years old I’ve been dating a giy who is 38 years old and we been together for almost 2 years everything was great at first everything wa fine until cheating wise started to happen i can say yes i have cheated on him as well cause i felt it wasn’t fare but that that all i stopped but he keep doing it i would go out with my friends or my family and he would have a very bad temper of where i go who i am with try to keep me lock up in a house it’s still going on and idk what to do anymore i feel vwry unhappy here i don’t wanna be with him but then i know what he’ll do if i ever leave please help

  61. Lynette says:

    Hi my name is Lynette im 21 years old I’ve been dating a giy who is 38 years old and we been together for almost 2 years everything was great at first everything wa fine until cheating wise started to happen i can say yes i have cheated on him as well cause i felt it wasn’t fare but that that all i stopped but he keep doing it i would go out with my friends or my family and he would have a very bad temper of where i go who i am with try to keep me lock up in a house it’s still going on and idk what to do anymore i feel vwry unhappy here i don’t wanna be with him but then i know what he’ll do if i ever leave please help he has beaten me alot times of where at the point i would of end up die

  62. Ollie says:

    I have been off and on with my boyfriend (now the father of my child) for four years. I got pregnant when we were messing around because he never wanted to be in a relationship but I was young and so in love I stayed even with all the name calling and silent treatments. He cheated many times even when I was pregnant. He made me walk home alone many times too. So many awful things I can’t even explain them all. I am moving soon but it is so hard to move on mentally when he doesn’t even love me or cares. It hurts so much to the point that I feel physically ill sometimes. I guess it just time that heals but I feel it will take many many years to get past the pain

  63. Neha says:

    I’ve been in the same situation and it’s awful and terribly confusing. I’ve only been with this guy for a year, but we really hit it off in the beginning. He was similar to me and a very nice guy, but it was when we got together that he began to change. Our fights were terrible.He would spout out horrible names calling me c*nt, bitch, whore–for studying or having family plans or assuming things. So then, it became complicated (like an on-again, off-again) thing only because I was confused.
    I loved him and he claimed to love me, and he sometimes doesn’t even apologise but he does when I bring it up..and he sometimes beats himself up over it and it makes me doubt whether or not he’s actually feeling bad..and once I made him promise to not call me insults (and since I’m hot-headed I finally cracked and retaliated too but only once) he broke it. I felt like I was nothing, and he would treat me as such but act innocent and managed to make me feel as though I was the bad guy.

  64. Ellie says:

    I am emotionally and mentally drained and felt hopeless until I came across this site! I’ve been with my fiance for 4 years, the relationships been very up and down but I feel trapped and can’t get myself to leave he always manages to pull me back ( probably a part of his controlley over me) knowing I always go back. He’s always called me names bit it’s gotten worse to words like slut, saying my life’s a mess and I’m a mess and I’m a waste of space, always putting me down! I wish I had the courage to leave!!!

  65. JJ says:

    First things first, I am not in a comfortable space right now. I feel unease to be sharing and writing this post. However, it’s about time I rid myself from this abuse. I have been in AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS GUY FOR 16 years off and on. This man has lived in the system as long as I known him. He was in foster care, and as time went on it turned into prison. He would put guilt trips on me by saying, I don’t have family you do. He would use me for money and when I didn’t give it to him, all hell breaks loose. He would try to changes me: my look, my way of thinking, and etc. Lately, he started calling me out of my name like stupid ass bitch! In front of others. He would go off in me and call me ugly names. I am tried of the abuse! I want to be free! None of my family members likes him they just deal with him because of me! I want out of this painful RELATIONSHIP!!!! I know you all can’t do much but read our comments but I ask, you all that knows the MOST HIGH GOD, YAHWEH, to pray for us (victims) during this time of separate from our abusers. Please pray that we replace that space with Real LOVE!!! Thank you for reading this post and Yahweh Bless!

  66. Tracy says:

    Everyone deserves to be respected and appreciated ..all of the time .Home, friends and lovers should be your santuary. I have been too many years,over 25, in a verbally abusive relationship with an on again off again alcolic. Of course there is also a lot of good in him and I suppose I always overlooked the worst becasue of that. He never controlled his screaming and words(incuidng name calling) in front of the kids. I see now i did them no favors by staying with him and I hope they don’t repeat the pattern with their own children.I am only here now because he cant take care of himself financially and now has health issus . I dont plan on staying forever. . Life is finite. Is this how you want to live with whatever time you have left? I have no desire now to meet someone else- If i do , i do.. but I like myself, i will be fine with loving friends and family around me. Being in a realtionship does not define you. I will be so much happier living alone.. I would like to say when he is sober he is fine but it’s not. The underlying personality issues are there-just not so out of control . I have learned that alocoholics are often self medicatiing for their own many issues. Putting down others are their MO- they have huge egos with inferiority complexes. Crazy right? but if you go to an AA meeting they are the first ones to admit it.. when i was overweight that was a great “go to”insult to me. I despise the c word but when he gets mad he will call me a c ,among other vile comments. Then the next day its a half apology..he didnt really say it,I misunderstood…he only said it becasue he knew I would get mad (since the agument was my fault anyway) he didnt mean it…. I have no sense of humor, you know how much i love you…on and on whatever…. It does not get better with time. The fights were every few weeks, now they are daily. You will never convinve your partner just how truly abusive he/she is.You won’t get the satisfaction you want. Deal with it. If you arent married get out asap.I see people on this blog who have investedd many years with their partner.. Trust me, let that go…you will blink your eye s andit will be 20 or 30 years later before you know it.. We have many many friends with good t marriages They respect each other and although they have their occassinally ups and downs they would never speak to each other in such a vile abusive way. they know he’s difficult but I hide a lot. It they had any idea how he treats me and what he sys to me I doubt they would ever look at him the same way .. Once youre married its more difficult..tough to leave friends and neighbors and home that youve built for your future,parent loans,financial issues….but i know I know without a doubt, what ever i have to do..the end result .Go with your own gut.you know what to do and what is best .

  67. Jade says:

    Hi there my names is jade I’ve been with my partner for over 2 years. I have a 1 year old I’m currently 22 weeks pregnant I’m in love with this man who came into my life we have have been struggling in out relationship bad and good times. There’s this girl he knows she’s beautiful he use to like her he showed me photos of her once while I was pregnant with my first baby and he did it to make me jealous it hurt me and still hurts me to this very day its made me feel so insurecure about myself and he calls me fat ugly streck mark cow hurtful words and then says hes sorry and dosent mean it and says he loves me I guess I’m just lost and dont know what to do when you love someone so much it becomes a world were your trapped and can’t leave because you’ll get jealous about who he would end up with next. Anyone know how I feel?

  68. Lovely says:

    My bf calls me names all the time. When I give him a dirty look he resorts to calling me a jerk a bitch. if I don’t give him the answer he wants he gets super angry and calls me all sorts of names it hurts my feelings because later on he tells me to get over it n he didn’t mean it but yet he continues the same day or next.

  69. Lovely says:

    My bf tells me to get over it all the time. Even when he talks down to me a few hours later he comes around trying to kiss me saying sorry and if I’m not forgiving he goes on and says I hold on to grudges to long and I should get over it because he is. But he doesn’t understand that it’s not so easy to forgive your bf when he insults you or makes you feel bad about your self. It takes time and I would like to talk to him about how I feel n how he makes me feel. but he never wants to listen and when he does he says how I feel isn’t how I should feel and again I should get over it or else he turns it around on me. Im over my relationship now. I try to be optimistic about him changing but I don’t think he wants to change for us or our kids.

  70. Sarah says:

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. On a daily basis he calls me a bi*** . Some days I wonder if he forgot what my actually name is. We had a baby together almost a year ago and now he likes to pick on my weight. Shortly after I had the baby he started calling me a fat a** b****. It’s progressively getting worse. He laughs at me because of the way I dress (I’m obviously unhappy with my body too.) He says why do you zip your jacket up all the way? Are you trying to hide your huge double chin? He says the way I eat is embarrassing to him and that he doesn’t want to be with a fat person. He says it’s all a joke and gets mad at me when I get upset that he calls me mean names.

    I just want to be good enough for somebody.

  71. robert says:

    the friend of my friend (that l meet 3 times) calls me using a nickname about my blonde hair , l believe he doesn’t know it bothers me but every time l see him l can’t tell him to stop(l dont know why l freeze) sometimes hes with other people and l miss the opportunity.that happens only when we swap on the road cause we dont know each other very well. What should l do ? Please

  72. Denize says:

    I’ve been with my man for 2 years and things seem so twisted.I’ve falling in love with a man who I feel really don’t love me…especially when he tells you the only reason he said he loves you is because that’s what you want you to hear not because he means it and this is a man I sleep with almost every night …it hurts my soul and I don’t understand how you can be with someone for so long and still have no feelings….

  73. Kathy says:

    my boyfriend calls me slut and that im a disgusting person, that im a minipulative bitch, that im a compulsive liar, that im a whore, and ran threw, loose, stupid, bitch, annoying, you name it and only when he is mad me ive never cheated and i opened up to him, he says he loves me its been 4 years but i think the love is dead.

  74. CC says:

    My boyfriend’s that I have had in the past have been very abusive. I have been thrown out to be homeless on the streets over ten times,burned in the eye,face,and chin with a lighter,hit across the back of my head,hit in the forehead with a hammer,credit debit cards stolen,cash taken from my wallet,and teased because of my teeth and weight gain. I’m not upset just thankful to be alive and well. I have been insulated and humiliated in public and at home. I have been physically beaten so bad my spinal injury pain came back excruciating pain. I have decided to stop dating for now and become asexual. I don’t ever want to be abused again so I am currently taking a break from dating.

  75. Carol says:

    Hi, I’ve been living with my boyfriend since August, so that’s 5 months now. Before this we dated for one year and we work at the same place, doing the same work. Before moving in together, it was difficult to find time to spend together, but we had a good time making it work. Now he is constantly joking, calling me a “bitch” or “beeoch.” In the past, I’ve told him that it’s never funny to call me these names and to never joke about it. He continued to do it, laughing and saying he’s joking, but then he stopped for a while, so I thought he got the point. I was wrong because last night, he “jokingly” did it again. I became upset and stayed on the couch watching a show for several hours. He never came out to apologize. He simply fell asleep. I later went back into the room and fell asleep also. I was upset and reeling, so it took a while. The next morning I felt incredibly depressed. I laid in bed for far too long. I normally make the coffee in the morning and and fix his mug, bring it to the bed for him. This morning, he got up extra early, fixed it all himself, drank a cup and went back to bed. Kind of bizarre. I got out of bed, finally around 10:30AM and said that I felt depressed. He said, in a very formal and autopilot manner that he felt sorry that I felt so bad and that he hoped I felt better. Never mentioned the night before, when I could tell that he was thinking about it. I feel stuck and a little hopeless cause I cannot afford an apartment on my own. I moved in here for love, but now that I know there is no real love here, I feel I’m just on survival mode…until the end of the lease in 7 months. The truth is that none of us are actually stuck. I think these significant others seemingly find a weakness in us and need to survive with it. We hold strength that they don’t have so they attach. If you are not living with the person, end it. Cut ties as easily as you can. You don’t owe him any reason to explain disconnecting from him/her. Just start getting distant. Don’t make plans to see him/her. Say you have a lot to do and become inconsistent until you’re in a safer headspace and more in control of the situation. As for me, I’m willing to ride out the next 7 months of this lease as long as I promise myself to earn more money to move into an apartment on my own. Or I’ll ask him to leave, eventually.

  76. Manuel says:

    We’ll, its cool there is a thread for people to vent. I’ve been reading everyone’s situations. I’m with my girlfriend who I love dearly and want to build a life with. But, sometimes she defies my manhood by saying I’m acting like a bitch when i started.getting.heated, or calling me names on other occasions. I am a really nice and tolerant person for the most part, and ho early quite sweet natured and passionate, as well. However, I can be pretty aggressive–or even overly, one might say, at times. She has told.me.to not take.it so seriously, although the first aggressor is usually her. So, Ive been attempting to become.less intense, and in a situation where if I’m told something disrespectfu, especially in the wrong day, something that defies.my great hidden ego of a man (or animal), I will flip out or just force my will into the moment by aggression. Its like women have also become more disrespectful to men sometimes. earlier today she said I was acting.g.like a bitch for no reason, when I was really just getting a bit heated over some Tv discussion. Then she saw I was getting provoked as i asked her why she was saying that and she said it again so I grabbed a textbook and slammed it breaking.it and proceeding to be aggressive nd talking crap in defense. I also threw Mt veer can and splashed it on the floor. This led to her telling me to get out and throwing my stuff. We then calmed a bit and she said that I overdo it and gst I’m crazy and violent. Though she sort of provoked me and kept defying.me it seems.like.
    Who is mainly to blame? What should I/we do? Any advice?

  77. May says:

    Hi..
    Are all men like this? Im 20 years old and gave been in love with my boufriend since i was 13. Lost my virginity to him, lost my mind in loving him..few years past he moved away when we were kids. Reconnected and now im stuck. He calls me fat and always makes fun of how much my dad hates me ect. He knows my dad walked out on me when i was very young and makes me cry almost everytime im with him. I feel so worthless and like my meaning in life is just a dark nothing. He has phisicaly abused me in the past but has stoped. But now everytime i want to hangout with soneone he blackmails me saying things that. If i hang out woth that person hes going tp show all his friends my nudes. I only dod that bc he always watched porn and wanted him to love me.

    I went over to his apartment last night. When we were having sex i was sp uncomfprtable bevause he always wants me to say dirty things and it breaks my heart abit he neeeeds me to say it to him. EVERY time. So i said no and he slaped me so hard on my ass. Let a get out of jail free card. He hit me and i wasnt happy wasmt even enjoying sex and then he just finished like he didnt care. Because he didnt. I left angry storming pit of his apartment. The police were called We ended up spliting by orders from the police. But they knew me. Said to me ” i know he has a temper” .

    I feel suicidal and always scared of him. I love him but i cant think anymore. Im so stressed out.

  78. Felicia says:

    My husband and are best friend but our arguements are starting to affect who we are as a couple. He is not an abusive person at all but when we argue he can get so angry. He talks over me, raises his voice, and sometimes calls names. He has said that I am being a B….. Mrs sensitivity, a stubborn pain in the ass. Ext. I know that these names may seem petty but they hurt coming from the one you love so much. Is this ok? How do I help him to see that when he throws any insult it hurts?

  79. Emma says:

    Hi im in a relationship with a lad whos 21 and im 26 weve been together for 20 months when i first met him i couldmt believe it he was everything i ever wanted in a bloke his looks personality and so on and for the first year everything was amazing but then things started happening he started getting angry more looking at me differently it made me paranoid he wanted to start going out with his mates more and i kept accusing him i know this is wrong and every argumemt we had got more and more worse he would start punching holes in doors smashing things up yea i would retaliate back by shouting at him then he started walking out telling me hes leaving me and im so scared of him leaving me i always beg him back and he ends up saying sorry but lately if he gets angry or we have an argument i shut up and dont say a word he says it winds him up more makes out like im making him feel guilty for me accusing him hes started shoving me now if i come near him hes done it in public once i tried to leave the house once and he never lets me says im gonna do something stupid and cant be trusted all i wanna do is go for a walk last time i tried it he grabbed me threw me to the floor and pushed my head down on the carpet so hard i had carpet burn down my nose and it was bruised for days and scabby he said he was sorry we have had an argument after that and he punched his way through my bedroom door pinned me to the floor and pushed my hands down on my rib cage so i couldnt move i just dont know what to do ! I dont have any family near or friends they live far away i dont go out unless its with him he tells me im beautigul all the time and that he loves me i love him im scared of being on my own i want him to get help hes angry all the time even when he cant gel his hair properly or he gets too hot because ive put the heating on i feel like everything i do is a problem and try my hardest to be better could anyone please give advice ?

  80. Pam says:

    Ben with dude for 18 yrs meet wen i was 18 he 26. Its never ben a great relationship it started out wit physical abuse only 4 months in. I wanted 2spend more time at my family house but he forced me2 leave wit him. During a heated debate of me strongly expressing I really want 2stay n he can leave he suddenly puched me in the nose causing it 2bleed then gave me the shirt he was wear to clean the blood befor taking me back 2 my family house. After that I have been his victim of all kinds of abuse. Verbal, emotional, mentally, psychological, physically nearly every single day for 18 years of my life i have experience one or more of the above. My youngest daughter have started reported that he is doing mean things to her. I have winess him emotionally abusing her eatting habits and jumped in. Although the kids ben tested n proved 2B his kids just2 hurt me he says their not his kids. So i have given them my last name as a direct form of retaliation. A set of twins and 2 other daughters by the way. He is very controlling, mean abusive n i never meet any1 n my entire life as MEAN as he. He tells me he wish he would of stayed with the other woman, he say if i was her he will treat me better, he says to bad im not her, then will come try to KISS me this gets me mad the kiss. You know y would i kiss u after ur behavior. I have stopped kissing and having sex with him its ben 4months. Im planning an excape back to the south. Im tired of being a good women to a very MEAN man. He gotten drunk woke me up just to kick on me he once kicked me down the stars with my daughter in my arms. Once i was driving he physically attached me, i almost ran off the road. I have ran out of the house butt naked to find saftey from a drunk spell. He pulled a gun on me for control purposes later claiming it wasn’t loaded. He has damaged my property. He has borrowed 100s of dollars from me n never attempted to pay me back not once but wen i borrow money from him he will attack me physically if i refuse to pay him. He has beat me in front of my kids my daughter wanted to help me but she could only cry for me….im in tears right now i cant keep writing but thanks for being here.

  81. Treat says:

    Hi I have a emotional abuse problem were my partner seems to do things on purposes I would except the things that happen to me if they went deliberately done to me like for example I tell my partner that I’m getting a bit jealous of a person and to rub it in my partner would go and spent the night with the person I am getting jealous of is that being insecure or do I have that right to be this way

  82. Ray says:

    My wife insults me all the time. Things must be on her way, if not. I am “xxx”, “dfc”, “ssddcc” and of course, then, she does not stop until i say “sorry” Yes, at the end she ask me to say sorry. I love my daughter. I am scare for her. I want to protect her. I can ignore my wife. My mind goes to other places every time she behaves like that. I go to a nice place. I know she is not going to change. But i can help my baby.

  83. Leanne says:

    My ex used to call me fat ugly smelly slag whore all the names going he would tell me he just wanted to hurt me. He used to say to me that punching the wall right by my face or pushing the telly on my head or banging my head of the wall was ok because he never actually punched me apparently I could do worse. I’ve come to my senses now and finished with him for the sake of my kids. I’m happier the kids are happier.

  84. Beatriz says:

    I have been with my boyfriend for about 2.5 years. We met in college in class and built up a 2 year friendship before being in a relationship together. We were good friends and started a wonderful relationship. We were doing good until a year ago when he started being verbally/emotionally abusive. We would never argue but now when we did, he would call me names and insult me. I told my elderly friend about it who then told me that the relationship seemed abusive and related it to her experience when she was married. I didn’t realize that until my talk with her. We have our good moments but he does not make sacrifices in the relationship and hurts me with his words. It’s so hard for me to walk away..

  85. madeline says:

    I’ve been in an abusive relationship for more than 3 years with the same horrible guy. Initially he would throw tantrums and accuse me of not saying and doing things exactly the way he wanted it to be done bt 6 months down the line he got a bit physical and started the name calling. His favourite names are f”’ing bitch and f”’ing whore and insult me in every demeaning way possible and complain about every possible thing that he could find that I’ve done wrong. He pulls up my past relationships and insults me over those then he brings up my age(I’m 9 years older to him) and he insults me saying I’m an old hagged whore and I’m stretched and having sex with me is like sticking it down a wide hole cos that’s what happens when u date a whore. I’ve told him a million times not to insult me any further and not to call me a whore. The fight before the last fight he called me all that and I told him if he ever calls me whore again I will walk out and never turn back. Our last fight he called me an old hagged whore. And I left. I’m completely done with him and thankfully I have no love or regard or want left for him. I’m earning well. I’m a director of a company and I’m above average attractive. I held on this long cos I loved him. By I don’t anymore so I’ve no reason to stay. I’m angry and feel down at times Bt I don’t miss him and don’t want him back. I hope all you wonderful women out there gather ur strength at some point and leave these worthless critters alone.

  86. sheena matheson says:

    i have been with my now fiance for 8 years. I’m 28 he is 33. we even have beautiful a twin boys. However if there’s any kind of argument it always ends up or heats up when he calls me names… stupid, idiot, ****, *****, you name it. He accuses me of cheating. Complains about this and that not getting done.our house is clean not spotless museum but clean. However its still not enough nothing I do is enough. We will argue for hours because I will not tolerate his name calling. Of course he doesn’t do it all the time and he can be a great dad… its just if I leave him I don’t have any options but he doesn’t make me happy not like I want. I just want someone who comes home and loves and respects me, appreciates what I do for them, says thank you and asks if I need anything or how my day was… or hell just watches the kids for a few hours so I could get a break… but above all that I want someone who will never look down on me but instead treat me as their equal… why can’t he be that… I want him to be that so much it hurts… I really don’t want anyone else I just want a better him… idk I guess im just stupid after all

  87. Cameron says:

    I began a relationship with a guy 8 months ago. We’re good together and argue rarely. He has told numerous lies, he abuses me verbally at points. He seemed to be a good influence…up until recently! What do I do?

  88. Sabrina says:

    My boyfriend​ is two years younger than me I’m 24, i got it all going a good job a nice family. He hates all my friends, he has had a fight with my brother for insulting me btw. I stuck by him. And then last week he pushed me i cracked my head open he claimed it was an accident went as far as to hoping me wearing heels. He has slapped me before but claimed it was due to the alcohol. All my close friends hate him. He has stopped me from going out and doing things i would normally a do. He calls me at least once every 30mins mind you i work. I nearly got sacked for picking up his phone calls because i know if i don’t it will be a nightmare when i check my phone on my break. He calls me all names I’m too far deep i loved him at one point but I’m slowly realising I’m becoming an empty shell of what i used to be. I’m moving out in 2 weeks and he don’t know but I’m going without him.

  89. Stefanie says:

    I am in a relationship of almost 5 years. I am convinced my boyfriend has anger issues but he refuses to get help. Every time he gets mad he yells, calls me horrible names.I am aware of the fact that this will never change, as it is a cycle of abuse he has been repeating for the past few years. He always apologizes, yet whenever their is a disagreement he just flips out and starts his name callings or talking to me like he doesnt care about me and even telling me straight up he doesnt care. To then come apologizing and saying he didnt mean any of that. It seems like he cant control what comes out of his mouth when he is ANGRY for things that really shouldnt get him that way. He has major communication issues as well…

    I am struggling so very much to leave this relationship. It is a lot easier said than done. In my mind, I know I will never be able to live a good life with him, being talked to that way whenever we cannot agree on something.I am starting to believe he has borderline disorder and has been undiagnosed his entire life. I cannot seem to find the strength to leave because he always comes back regretting and making me feel like he is going to try better. I know its a cycle though but it is so hard to just walk out of such a long term relationship. I need some advice??? 🙁 the fear of leaving and starting something new is taking over me 🙁

  90. Vicky says:

    He calls me names An smashes my home up even threatening to get kids same age as mine to beat my kids up

  91. Zara says:

    I have been with my bf for 2 years. At first everything was so good then the cheating came to float and I forgave him. He has cheated multiple times and tells me is my fault. He calls me a bitch tells me I’m stupid and useless. His ex was way older than him and I am younger than him. He always make me feel bad ams I feel stuck. People know me as a happy person and strong minded and I don’t know what he did to me. I would never allow anybody to treat me this way I can’t asked him anything. Evans he gets mad calls me crazy and stupid. He gets mad and tells me I am depressing him and that all I do is stress him. He gets caught cheating and lying and he gets angry with me and always tries to flip it on me. I don’t want to be with him anymore. I hate him already and things are just getting worst. When I try to leave him he acts crazy and begs and tells me I have somebody else and makes me so upset and flips on me. I dont know how to get out of this mess.

  92. Enhle says:

    How do you move away from abusive relationship
    I want to but I can’t plz help

  93. Holly says:

    Hi,

    My boyfriend of over a year now has recently called me mean names. Iv’e been called the C word, ungrateful and just other rude comments. I know he has his opinions but every situation or conversation I bring up he has to argue and be mean. Also, he is never wrong in his mind. He never is sorry. I aways have to agree and apologize and move on. Recently, he has insulted me and my family and I just can’t take it anymore. In our past disagreements I would threaten to break up and he just says “Okay”. He acts like he doesn’t care. I just don’t feel loved or respected by him. I do love him and I just don’t think I can take the name calling anymore.

  94. Jenny says:

    I’ve been in a relationship for almost 5 years now and its good at times but when its bad its bad. In the beginning of our relationship he was a sweet heart he took me on dates, and stuff like that. After like a month or so he started ignoring me, going days without talking to me, going out with his friends all day and night, never making time for me. After a couple months i got tired of it and broke up with him. We were broken up for about 2 months or so and we got back together but this time it got worse he started using me for money, always hanging up on me, leaving me on read, him hanging out with girls, and just a lot of stuff. I broke up with him once again and this time he got locked up and went to prison.My mom found out i was with him while he was in prison and she kicked me out, i moved in with his parents. I put money on his commisary, wrote him everyday, answered all his phone calls,went to every court, all while in college and a full time job. I did this for 8 months. Get this he never asked me out.Until he was released from prison.He never told me he loved me either until he got locked up. When he got out first day out we went out to eat then he left with his friends all night. He did this everyday for a couple months, i was always alone, i never really saw him if i did it was just for a second until he left again. He partied day and night. I got so tired of crying every night that i left, i had no where to go and my best friend took me in. After moving out he was there for me more he always wanted to hang out. He would take me out. Then i fell for him again and i moved in once again. I found out a lot of things from him writing another girl when he was in jail to him talking to a girl just 2 days after my birthday while we were in bed. He calmed down a little after we lost our first child(miscarriage). He stopped going out as much but now he’s started again. He has no job, he did when i first met him. All he does is smoke weed all day. I provide everything, i pay all the bills. When we argue he calls me a b****h, a ****, a h**, a fat b****. Of course he hurts my feelings, and when i do cry he tells me to shut up.He doesn’t ask me how my day was or anything. When i’m telling him a story he ignores me to the point where i just shut up and change my mind onto something else. Writing this made me realize how shitty my relationship is, and i honestly have no one to talk to about this. I lost my parents and friends just to be with this man. I’ve become so depressed and insecure since i met him.

  95. rikhiya says:

    My boyfriend calls me fat,dark and ugly….moreove he also insults me cause i am not very well in studies like him..he always makes me feel low…what to do..?

  96. Andy says:

    My father jokingly calls me a loser constantly.. He thinks Its funny and I’ve told him it hurts at times, yet he continues to say it.. If I call you a bitch most every time I see you every single day, tell me where the humor..

  97. Charlotte says:

    I haven’t been happy in years it’s at the where I feel like dying the last 6 years of my life has been hell he never says or does anything nice for me we don’t go anywhere or do anything I don’t have any friends or family bc he finds something wrong with them or he comes on to them I live behind his mother everyday he louds talks me calls me names he don’t want me get out house when I left my house to be with him he has several sex chat lines accounts & on fb he messages or women comment & not care how I feel he talks about me like a dog to other women he respects nothing I say or ask him he flys off the hook in front of people calling me out me name he does nothing for me no bday no Christmas no valentines nothing I feel like I’m nothing my life sucks and it’s never been good death has to be better than this

  98. Jasmine says:

    I been having problems with my boyfriend …… I feel not enough useless worthless? And hopeless much more to say about myself I’m not enough I wonder why am I even here still everyday of my life.
    He calls me names when he’s mad like stupid, dumb , bitch , retarted, and more …
    I get upset tell him to stop but early in the moring he acts like he don’t remmeber saying these things.. or says I’m sorry I was just tired and when you don’t let me sleep I get mad. Let’s just say here he’s making excuses for himself& I also see him less caring about me he says he loves me and if he really did why would he say these hurtful things about me? He is just so mean I am so depressed …
    He argues with me if I tell him stop looking at other girls body’s and he says he’s not but when clearly I see him look for a couple secs .
    Give me advise I need advise 🙁

  99. jazzy says:

    I married a man 9 years younger than me. He has been with me thru a pregnancy that was not his child took on my kids and everything.. but when we get into fights he calls me names Luke fata** makes fun of my belly for have strechmarks tells me I’m ugly that I need to look in a mirror see what he sees I’m saggy etc. I know I’m not fat I’m a size 3, but yes I need to tone my body I had an emergency c section 3, months ago I should of been running by now we’ve been moving I had to recovery and so much going on I haven’t had time .I’m by far ugly but he sure makes me feel like I could be. Hes 25 I’m 34 If he’s angry he Will call my old used up and says he will get someone young since I won’t shut up..He always says sorry but there’s times I just can’t. Stop being mad and hurt I feel like since he can’t stop saying it maybe he really feels that way .. now I won’t get naked in front of him I feel like he don’t like my body I feel nasty at times I’m so hurt it’s effecting us dearly what do i do..

  100. Lonely Wife says:

    My husband and I have been married for three years, but together for 13. We have two children, two dogs, a home, etc. Our relationship has always been rocky at best, but when it’s good, it’s really good. But when it’s bad, it’s terrible. For about the past two and a half years or so, we have grown terribly apart-or at least that’s how I feel. He will not let me go out with friends-not even to lunch or he’ll say “Go ahead and go,” but will barrade me when I get back. When he drinks and gets mad or upset he calls me terribly awful names. Dirty names. Names that make you feel like a knife has been stuck in your gut. He has accused me of having an inappropriate relationship with my sister’s husband and has literally lost his mind when he sees us texting about nothing! I have no friends outside of work friends. I do not do anything without him and yet I still get accused of cheating on him all the time and called these awful names. He has kicked me, hit me, pulled my hair, etc. Look, I KNOW I’m in an abusive relationship-I’ve even called him out on it and told him I couldn’t deal with the abuse anymore. He laughs at me and tells me I’m the abusive one or that I deserve everything I get. Where do you even start when there are children and bills and a house involved? I often just think “I can stick it out until the kids are out of high school.” I’m really starting to wonder if I can stick it out though. It’s eating me up inside and draining the life out of me.

  101. hannah says:

    Hi, I`ve been in a relation with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. Our relationship started so fast, its only 3 weeks then we separate because we are both working in cruise. Then every thing happen so fast, I accepted him as easy as that because during that time, I admitted that I want to find a man that I will marry. Yah, I know, i`m so stupid, then when I already working in the cruise I fell in love with other guy. Then problem came, when we both go home I know to my self that I don`t love him, the boy I met before I go to the cruise but still he was saying and pushing to tell that he love me. I accepted him for reasons, and guilt but when we started the relationship again after three months when we came home and reconcile, he started those silly things, abusive behavior and insult that cause me too much pain. I know to my self that i`m the one who made fault, but my reason is, I`m not the one who want to get in back in the relationship, he, but he treated me like that. Every time that I wanted to work out the relationship and make an effort or cling with him, he always get mad, irritated, too much hurtful words and many more. Deep inside I was really hurt and only cry with my self. As time goes by, three month after we get back in the relationship, he left again and go to japan then it became worst . Then he started to treated me much more worst that I know no one deserved. It`s seems that he just want me to feel what he feel before but at the end he will tell that he love me bla bla but I never felt it, instead I felt that I`m so small, bitch girl and stupid. Every time until now, as I remember all the things he said, I can stop my self feeling down and ashamed. But I`m not over him, I don`t know why, even he treated me like that, I`m just praying to let my feelings out so I can start a new life.

  102. Dominque says:

    I’m 12 and have a boyfriend who constantly talks about this girl he used to like and I’m a very insecure person at school this girl always laughs and Talks about me mugging me across the room making me uncomfortable I talked to my bf about it and he told me im overeating and need to. Chill I stopped our conversation right there I had called to tell him to make her stop but he wouldn’t listen

  103. Rick says:

    I do this all of the time btw. I didnt use to but the women I have done this with stick around.

    Clearly something must be working.

  104. Jasmin says:

    Hi all I’ve been in relationship with my partner for 7 years now we have 3 children together he’s also 9 years older than me, i constantly feel controlled to the point where if I want to go to my friends I don’t bother asking him because I know it will cause an argument he’s feels my place is at home cooking tidying and looking after the children I have no social life what so ever! When we have an argument he always calls me stupid and dumb and how’s there plenty women in world to bend over and he can give his seed to! I’ve been called fat and plain, we’ve had a huge argument tonight which resulted in me getting so frustrated I dug my nails into my forehead! I don’t know what to do anymore I’m so scared to be alone but I can’t carry on like this!!!!!! 🙁

  105. Neli says:

    I’ve been in an on and off, emotional rollercoaster relationship with a guy nine years my junior. I had two kids and he had one child living in the US (well so he says). In 2016 he cheated on me and impregnated a woman within a month of meeting her (also 9 years older than him & with 2 kids) bcoz I wouldn’t succumb to pressure from him to fall pregnant. Our relationship was taking much strain bcoz of this and the insults started. He has called me every name u can think of – old, stupid, useless, barren, desperate, sagging breasts, whore, loose….you name it. He’s unapologetic about impregnating another woman and often brags to me that she’s a smart medical doctor with a PHD but was still willing to give him a baby just a month into the relationship…..who do I think I am?? He’s even gone to the extent of insulting my kids and my family. For some reason I started feeling guilty, as though I was being unfair and selfish to not give him a child,hence I deserve the punishment. I just wanted to do things right and not have a third baby out of wedlock. But he didn’t see it that way and kept putting pressure bcoz “I’m too old and time is not on my side to have another baby.” I know this relationship is not good for me bad just feel stuck bcoz I feel like I’m not good enuff and no one will ever love me.

  106. Em says:

    My boyfriend who I have been with for 6years when we fall out he keeps calling me fat I feel so down about it I feel ugly in my self and the way my body looks he’s made me loose my confidence I never see my friends . He makes me feel like no one else would ever want me cause I’m nothing I had a baby 2 years ago and ever since when we have fallen out all he does is call me fat . I feel I have no way out I live with him in the house his father owns but feel like I want to go but scared where I will have to go I’m so down

  107. Erica says:

    Long story short recently I have been with this guy for about 9 months .First things were great and I fell hard for him. As time went on he started getting more comfortable and the disgusting name calling started and physical abuse my family and friends can’t stand him and have given me advice and I kept forgiving him thinking maybe he will realize what he has and treat me right. I know I deserve better and hold too much respect for myself to allow such treatment. I graduated and have been to college and am wanting to go further. I am also a single parent with two children whose father is not in their lives. I work hard and am very responsible!! I’m tired of it and he says I don’t know how to stand by a man and if I really love him I will work through anything and I beg to differ. I don’t think he will ever stop and it will get worse. My gut is telling me to walk away and never look back!!! I love to hear advice from others and I know someone can accept all the advice In the world and still be so gullable to allow that same treatment. However, I know what I have to do, I will not fall for it again and neither should any of you!!!!!!!

  108. Amya Tillman says:

    I have a question if your boyfriend is bipolar and he calls you names when he angry should i leave him or stay with him the main reason i with him to help him with his bipolar. i dont know what to do because im in love with him.

  109. Sarah says:

    I’m in these same situations too, and I am in love 🙁

  110. Julie says:

    Well I have been married for 5 years. My husband when he is a angry calls me the worse names. Like b**tch worthless,weak,hoe in a rage then he calms down and wants to call me baby . I have told him not to call me those name. Then he will say every couple argue. I try to explain him this isn’t arguing his behavior is abusive I’m certain he knows this. He has become so verbally and emotionally abusive that at one put I was thinking I was the problem. I spoke to his sister briefly about his behavior ,she told me he is treating you just like our dad treated our mom. Most of the time people who are abusers learned this behavior because most of the time it is taught. Then he say things like you are my wife you are not going anywhere because his mom stayed so she pretty much taught him that this behavior was acceptable but I wasn’t raised this way never saw abuse in my household .I tell him I’m not your mother and you are not your father. I just can’t take this abuse anymore I am on the verge of walking out on this marriage and never look back. It is like he is two different people rolled into one. It’s so bad I’m seeking counseling myself because he refused to go.

  111. Ammy says:

    I have been with tbis guy for 4years,he start behave diferrent the first year we meet but i ignore it,he cheat on me 2014 and i notice that but when i ask him he denied,he have been calling me names everytime he got angry,he stay in diferrent country but atleast I never cheat on him,he introduce me to his friend and his friend send me the picture of his private party nut when i told him then he believe his friend who he meet only for one month,he cheat on me again after he saw me online on website of dating while I saw him on dating website for almost one year ago and i couldn’t react like him,so he blame me for his two teaching and while he was cheating the second qith a prositute got STD from her but now i become a prositute and the prositute become a good woman as she was honest to tell him that she is a prostitute,tbis man is not normal as one time he posses like he is someone else,I just ignore him now and i told him its ovet but after tell him that he ask me to pay him the money of the car car he bought it for me when we was together,the car he bought with my name other wise he will take me to police because tbis love was just a scam love ,he send me a lot of message and telling me that his friend doesn’t like black people and he hate me so as a police he will make sure his taking me to prison,he starting to call other black people as a monkey so i am a monkey too because i am black ,only because i refuse to continue to be with his and refuse his marriage purpose.

  112. Paris says:

    I’m 20 years old and I just come out a relationship with a guy who I realised emotionally abused me. He seemed so perfect and wonderful but everytime we argued he called me names and told me I was dumb, he has even called me the c word a few times. He controlled what I wore and hated me wearing make up as he didn’t want me to look nice and he would call me a slut or a tart for wearing makeup, I am virgin, I couldn’t physically give myself to him. I couldn’t have nice profile pictures and I wasn’t allowed to show my legs in public or wear leggings and jeans otherwise he would tell me off, I am a massive reader and he didn’t want me reading romance books. He told me that he was loyal and no other man is loyal at this age and that he would give me everything and that he loved me so much, he used to buy me really expensive gifts for christmas and my birthday, though for my 19th I didn’t even receieve a card from him. He kept comparing me to other girls, I found out he was flirting with other women and that these girls would send him naked pictures, we were together for 2 and a half years, everytime we argued he would block me for two weeks or threaten to break up with me. I ended up liking another man because I was emotionally damaged from this guy and as soon as he found out, my ex became the victim and told me that I was a horrible human being and that karma would hit me, I feel guilty because I liked someone else towards the end when I was still with my ex and I lied to my ex when he asked me if I liked someone else. Nothing happened between me and this guy but my ex got people to turn against me, i’m still trying my hardest now to recover but it’s honestly hit me so bad, emotionally I am drained and I just don’t feel myself anymore 🙁

  113. Alysha says:

    My BF says the meanest things to me saying no wonder nobody wants you! If I leave you you will have nothing… I start crying and so does he saying you did this.. not me.. I love you so much baby. Please I don’t want to fight with you.. but I’m so upset and tell him if you really left me even say those things .. then he goes back to saying it’s up to you if you want me to leave. I’ll pack my **** and you’ll have nothing. He’s told me I’m the girl of his dreams and says I’m all his! He makes me feel like no one cares about me only him.. but when our relationship is going good it’s amazing! He cooks dinner plans the house get my car out in the morning ,makes me coffee. I just don’t get it??? Please help!

  114. lk says:

    do not let any man bring you down they are not worth the effort

  115. lk says:

    The more he calls me names and the more he repeats things and the more he he is in my face the stronger I get

  116. DesLynn says:

    I been in a relationship for 11 1/2 years and I do admit I had put on a few lbs due to having my 2 children back to back. He always compliments me and always wants to make love and he slaps my butt and stuff like that, but I notice when he gets super upset about something he’ll call me fat ass or lazy and that hurts because my whole life I had to deal with fat shaming by my father. then it results in me targeting his most insecure parts and I am just tired of it. I really am. it doesn’t help either that I have to stay home from work to care for our son who is has ASD. It is truly hard and he acts like he does so much, yes he works and yes he drives us where we need to be cause I admit I do not drive, but I am with these kids 24/7, I have to clean often, god forbid if I take a break for one day, i am called lazy. I am so sick of it. I had thought about leaving several times already, but I do love him and he is a great guy over all, but I no longer can deal with this stress. I am already going through so much. I am even int therapy cause I have bad Panic disorder, he makes it worst and when ever he sees I am doing better or feeling happy again, it seems he always tries to find a way to bring me right back down into a hole.

  117. Ree says:

    My boyfriend for 5 years has been verbally, emotionally & a lot of the times physically abusive with me. It’s been on & off for 5 years. Last night, I was @ home crying, all night because he hit me so badly that my whole body was in pain. He called me & sat on the phone & listened to me cry for almost 2 hours. Instead of being supportive, or saying sorry, or showing remorse, he sat there & called me a bitch, told me I was being a drama queen. He tried to say that he never hit me & that I’m sore cause we had sex, but sex doesn’t give you bruises. He lies & denies that he punches me, or hits me. & if I say that he’s lying, or point out that it actually did happen, he calls me a whore & other horrible names. He doesn’t love me. But when I tell him that I’m not happy, & that I’m sure he doesn’t love me, he sits there & tells me that I am happy & that he does love me. He denies everything. I’ve been trying to leave for 5 years & I honestly feel so stupid, because I can leave. It shouldn’t be this hard. But something in my heart makes me want to go back to him. He’s my first & only boyfriend. I’ve never dated anyone but him. He calls me a whore & accuses me of **** the entire world. He’s always making horrible, disrespectful jokes about me to his friends. So much so, that his friends tell him not to disrespect me. I don’t know what’s holding me back, but I want out. I just need some support right now. I really just need some support. I need someone to tell me that I’ll be okay, & that I can leave him. & that I will find someone else in the future. I don’t have to go back to him, but whenever I’m upset or I need to talk to someone, I go back to him because I have no one else.

  118. Samali says:

    Hi my name is sam, i don’t know who to tell but im really hurt. My fiancé insults me and calling me names. If someone who i dont love I wouldn’t care calling me names or insults me. Im a good guy.. i never calling her names but i did accidentally insults her cause she insults me and my family and calling me names. It’s been quiet often she insults me and calling me names. She call me stupid,pig, dog, lier, dick amd so on.. im so hurt but in the same time i pity her. I love her so much and what i do is nothing. I don’t have any heart to insults her or calling her names. I don’t know if she love me or not. I dont know if she still want me or not. And she always told me to find someone else to be with. I don’t know what to do.. im emotionally sad and scared.

  119. Eleanor Fausti says:

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years, it will be 6 years in January. He has been calling me names for as long as I can remember but it’s getting really bad now. His favorites are bi*** and h**. I don’t give him a reason to call me names. The name calling has been too much lately and I do not know what to do. I feel stuck in this relationship and I have no idea why. I love him, at least I think I do or maybe I am just very use to him now? I’ve tried to leave but I always end up staying. Besides the name calling he is very controlling. He doesn’t like me going anywhere, not even the grocery store! He dislikes if I look nice when I get ready, instead of telling me I look beautiful or nice he tells me “why are you wearing that?” I can’t have friends, I can’t socialize. The name calling has made me lose my confidence and my self esteem sucks. When I purchased my first new vehicle two years ago, he was angry because I bought a sports car and called me a bi*** and a h**. Instead of congratulating me. When I tried to go back to school he got angry at me as well and called me names. The name calling happens just about everyday. The only time he is nice is when he is trying to have sex. If I don’t had sex with him he also gets very angry with me. Nobody knows about how emotionally abusive he has been with me. I do not talk about it to anybody so that is why I am posting this here on this site. To vent. I just want to leave so bad but I feel like I can’t, like I don’t have the stength to.

  120. Dana says:

    My ex used to ask me to do things that no one should be asked to do. He also made fun of me when My face broke out said i had pimpleitis and i needed to do to the f*cking doctor i look horrible. And his favorite word was c**t and s*ut. He left his girlfriend for me then called me a Home wrecker. He threatened to hit me i got away just in time because i knew he would i met his ex and she told me he hit ver. He made My self esteem non existent

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